I swear to *God*, sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I spent half the morning racing around downtown and then one particular outskirt, trying desperately to find a clip to help gather my dress in at the waist. I looked this morning and couldn't find the one I'd bought years ago; I checked all of the clothes I might've used it on, I checked my pyjama drawer, where things of that nature congregate to hide and tell stories of me, and no luck.

I finally bought suspender clips at Bouclair and was going to improvise something using hair jewelry or a choker.

I decided to do one last scan through my pyjama drawer, just on the off chance I might find something useful, as well as to look for the hair accessory I was going to use.

What do I find?

The fucking clip.

Everyone know the Edvard Munch painting The Scream? That's about how I feel right now.

That, and there's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and it's Digger. He's taken to hunting young rabbits -- I think we have a nest underneath one of our bushes on the front lawn, 'cause I saw him circling and meowing at it, but I couldn't see anything so I let him be. Then he turned up in the backyard with a fresh kill and was showing it off to Shadow, who didn't seem too impressed -- she turned up at the backdoor howling to be let in.

I also saw a cat smooshed through the onramp of the highway I took to get downtown this morning, as well as lots of other poor, unfortunate souls -- i.e. squirrels. This is not a good day for the animals.

On the plus side, I got all the wrapping and card I need for Greg and Mad's wedding, I don't have to work, I'm tired (okay, not a plus), but it turns out the wedding is at 3, not 2; this gives me more time to get ready, which is good.

Which is what I ought to be doing right now, I just thought I'd share my frustration at the accessories that mock me. See why I don't do girly? Twice I've lost my red lipstick (two different ones; I bought a replacement that's also disappeared), and my accessories hide from me. This is not encouraging me to be girly.
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New article up at Whore's Boudoir. I'll have another up after the weekend; it's already half-written.


Of the opinion that I am hated by certain people who I considered to be close friends because they (he?) haven't(hasn't) spoken to me in quite some time now.

Also afraid to bring it up. :P

Stupid life choices.

Just because it's all bleak on here doesn't mean that the happy doesn't happen; in reverse, just because it seems all happy and stupid on here doesn't mean the bleak doesn't happen.

There be thoughts and sadness and regrets and other such that just doesn't make it here, sometimes.

Now I'm off to bed. I bought a dress today. It is pretty, I think. I wasn't really in the mood to shop; there was too much backpack hauling around. :P

What else? 'Twas a pretty quiet day all around. D and I had lunch in a diner, and I saw the crazy bearded lady sitting at the counter, having a beer. When we left the diner, she approached us (on the street), and asked for money "to buy a coffee." Uh... no way. Crazy bums.

Ah well, tomorrow is the scary appointment. I'll be writing about it in article form, which is why nothing has appeared on here about it. After that is work, then watching a video of D in a production of Rocky Horror -- as well as a rickshaw driver, actually. D and I were walking to the mall when he was hailed, and it turns out the rickshaw driver played Brad in the production, so I'll get to see a virtual stranger in undies.

Yes, this is me; I'll be sure to make an inappropriate comment about it next time I see him, if I recognize him. I'm a brat. :)

I forgot to mention before; E bought me a nice journal for writing in. It's campy in a cool way, and has on the front "she did not know whether to use her powers for good or evil." There are also little bits of comments inside, things like, "he deserved to be tortured" or something -- it's in my backpack, so I can't look just yet. That makes the second person in the last six months to buy me a writing book, and I think that's really awesome. It says to me that people notice that I write a lot (as anyone who happens to read anything I post online already can attest), and it shows that they place value in my writing. It makes me feel good.


Gah. Still tired. My life sucks. :)

I hung out with Gord -- or as I like to call him now, Glord -- and Shawn. We got the mad dinners, I had lots of drinks, and then we went on the roof of the mall and drank some more. 'Cause we're fucking classy, that's right.

In more detail: I still say they didn't seat us at the restaurant for awhile 'cause we were explaining to Glord the female anatomy, and how it is that the head of the cock doesn't really rub against the clit during intercourse. It can, but in the midst of the all the thrusting and pumping, it's not a typical thing.

Our waiter was funny, although I don't remember entirely why. He made fun of us drinking girly drinks (okay, me drinking a girly drink), but that thing had mad amounts of booze to it -- I was pretty tipsy after one. Then I had another and kinda sobered up (I think having the food in me helped at that point, too).

Glord and I stole Saddam Hussein's fries, and we acted all stupid and fun. Afterwards, it was to the roof of the mall for sharing swigs of Zambucca, which we all decided we didn't really like that much.

From there, we drew on Shawn's chest and Glord carved him a tattoo and smelled his belly lint (oh yeah, all the secrets are coming out now, suckers!). There was much discussion of Shawn's cock, which Glord poked a few times, and tried to get me to put my hand down his pants. I summed mighty reserves of strength and resisted. :)

There was a funny quote, lemme dig it out... Ah yes, "Why is my penis the centre of the universe?" I think it was a complaint, but it's hard to tell.

I really had to use the washroom, so we wandered into the mall, where I promptly slipped down a stair and hurt my ankle. Despite the comments about me being drunk, I was muchly sober at that point. We hobbled to the bathrooms, where I could hear Shawn and Glord talking the whole time, and then we went to Starfucks for me to get a chocolate drink. Which I drank and enjoyed.

Then I annoyed D a bit and headed over to E's to annoy him. This is my life; annoying people. :)

All of the above takes us to today, where I'm filling time at work until I can go shopping for a dress for the wedding and some more work clothes; I want to get some more shirts that are within dress code regulations (*roll*), and perhaps a skirt or two that I can wear at work. My works pants are somewhat warm for summer wear, and skirts are more fun.

Tonight will involve heading over to R and N's for hanging out. I'm so double-booked for plans this week, it's insane. So many people I want to hang out with, especially before I head off, and so little time. It's fun, but tonight really has to involve sleep, or I may kill someone just to see them die.

I mean, I may fall asleep at work. Sorry, don't know what that could've been. :)

Ah yes, and E has developed a new way to make fun of me/annoy me (and when I say annoy, I actually mean it does somewhat bug me and I might bring it up): to annoy, he interrupts me when I'm midstory. People do that to me all the time, and it makes me feel like I'm boring them or they don't care what I have to say.

To mock, especially when I'm in a long story or concluding one, he says the Simpsons line about Grandpa saying, "so I took the ferry to Shelbyville and I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time..." and so on. He finds it hilarious. *grr*

And today is ghetto 70's underwear today. Shake it, baby!


I am dumb. I came home last night, I was tired. I got on the computer, planning to stay for a few minutes.

People started talking to me. All of a sudden it was 2 a.m. and I still wasn't in bed yet. Urgh.

I set one alarm for 8:30, and the other for 9:00. I got out of bed at 9. :P

*mutter* Ah well. Let's see, yesterday: got 2 of my 3 errands done (I forgot to pick up my grad photos, which is why I was going to try to get downtown a bit early today... no go). Worked, had some food with the 19-year old, then headed over to the other work (where, in passing, we saw E). I was tired, but it was fun working with A and B, the new senior cash rep. He kept trying to push me around, and I kept trying to do the same to him; he was winning. :P Damn me and my Napoleon complex! :)

D came through just before my dinner, so he kept me company when I went over to the mall and got some more food. Went back and finished off the shift, then came home to be stupid. There you have it, my day. Ta-dah.

Stupid sister. She has to leave the house by 10, so she gets up at 9 and farts around, getting in the shower now (quarter after 9). She hasn't written her schedule on the calendar, so I have no concept of when she's working or not, so no way of knowing I'm going to have to play shower battle to get my chance to get in and clean. Stupid sister.

Oh yes, and in more weird news... turns out that D knows someone who happens to be the friend of a friend, and whom I just met. Weirdness abounds.

I spent some time at work yesterday writing out my list of things to do/upcoming events for the next little while. I'm going to be a very busy little person (what kind of preson are you?!) for the next week. :P :)

Some quotes from Shaolin Soccer, if you haven't already seen it:
What kind of preson are you?
Look at me, I am blad!
That was a big exploration! (instead of explosion)

And those are the only ones I can really remember. If you have two hours of your life you don't want back, rent it and watch it -- but rent the subtitled version, not the American version. Better, if such a thing can be said. :)

Anyhow, time to get moving. *sigh* I want sleep. :(


Dude. :)

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Pretty unexpectedly intense evening. Had a weird not-fight with E, then a fair bit of silence while we both recovered our walls. Later, I laughed until I cried while he told me of playing with his action figures as a kid.

The rules, as they have been imparted to me:
1. You do not mess up a guy's hair when he has stuff in it.
2. They are action figures, not dolls.

Breaking both of these rules is muchly fun, and pouting while opening the eyes really big means that I get out of trouble, especially on the second one. It doesn't matter how much someone squeaks in anger and tells you they hate you, you can win.

Oh yes, and other rules are to be added as needed -- i.e., whenever they get thought up. Men are dumb. :)


Although it's really late (or early, depending on your pedantic bent) and I'm fairly tired (in spite of this evening's approximate 90-minute nap), I wanted to try to document this while it was still fairly fresh in my emotional cache (gawd, am I a nerd or what?).

Jay arrived in town this evening for Greg and Madeleine's wedding, so once his flight got in, there was assemblage at J's place. It was the first time I'd been to J's place with a group since, well, since my birthday last year, actually.

Anyhow, things were okay, I guess. We exchanged a bit of brief conversation in the kitchen when I went to see what was left of the Chinese food and get a beverage, and though I'd told myself I'd just treat him like anyone else in the group, I found it difficult to do so, at least entirely. I mean, everyone in that group is treated slightly differently by me, based on their personalities and behaviours and responses to me and my actions. How am I supposed to treat the last guy that really broke my heart?

Not to mention, seeing everyone paired off like that just... I don't know. It gets to me. I know that I make my own choices, and I know that for me right now, they're the right ones, but it doesn't help my feeling of being an outsider. Maybe in a way I feel that someone I date should be validated by the group, or receive their approval, but I know that's not necessarily accurate to how I feel. It'd be great if I dated someone that fit right in, but integration into a group like that is tricky, especially when some of them have been together for going on 10 years or more -- at least, that's how long *I've* known some of them.

So it got me to thinking about my relationship with J. It was good, it was fun, it was the shortest serious relationship I've had yet; funny in a way that when dating J, that relationship was considered valid and established (sorta), whereas when dating Mark, even though we'd been together nearly three times as long, it wasn't. That was my doing; I did keep Mark separate from the group because I wasn't sure how best to mesh them, but still.

That sounds like I'm blaming the group, and I'm not. I'm just tired and inarticulate.

Where was I? Oh yes, relationship evaluation. I used to think that if things improved with J's situation -- he got a job that didn't stress him out, he worked things out with his ex- and got that established, etc., etc., -- we'd get back together again. A part of me always knew that it was wrong and it wouldn't happen; after all, how often do people breakup and then stay together? Some are lucky enough to work past that, and I envy them, but at least in my history (chequered and poor as it may be), that's rarely the case.

So yes, I held out some little hope that maybe, just maybe, he and I could make it work. I held onto that for a lot longer than I care to admit to, although Jay's been aware of it the whole time; he was the one person that I regularly confessed in. Even though I cared about Mark deeply, and I feel that our time together was really wonderful, some small part of me still yearned for that "grown-up" relationship that J and I had.

Maybe it was the perceived feeling of acceptance that I had when he and I were together, or maybe it was what he represented to me -- the possibility of growing beyond my parents' home, beyond school, into a career, and being with someone who took me seriously as an equal (not that I'm saying others didn't, but the coworker sure didn't, and that's what I was working from before J) -- but I really enjoyed it and I really valued it. The group has been wonderful towards me during and since the breakup (which I will point out, was somewhere in the realm of 7 months ago; I'm not hung up, I'm just backstorying for you), and I know that I'm accepted as who I am; Jen, not J's girlfriend. I know that I have my own identity and my own place in the group, but sometimes seeing all the pairs just leaves me feeling alone.

And here I stall for a bit, to reflect on that. I'm trying to figure out the best way to segue into this next part, and I can't quite figure it out, so I'll continue.

I sat there tonight, as we watched a movie, all piled into J's small living room on whatever surfaces we could appropriate, and I was surrounded, for the most part, by couples, or parts of couples. The only singles there were J, Jay, and myself (and yes, there were other J-named people still there). I saw everyone cuddling, and I thought about how when J and I were together, I'd be thinking of how nice it would be to snuggle with him after everyone left. And I sat there on the couch, and I felt alone, and very vulnerable.

In a way, I feel vulnerable writing this now, knowing that a few people will read it and point it out to others, but I'm too tired to care; I'm very apathetic, and right now, I want to share.

So I left, to spend some time with a friend; someone that I knew wanted to hang out with me, someone who would enjoy my company and make me feel not alone. As I drove over to his place, in the rain, I started thinking of the reasons why things between J and I didn't work out. This is territory I've covered countless times (as Jay is well aware), but I uncovered a new patch today; perhaps he just didn't like me.

Perhaps he was content with the idea of a girlfriend, the sex, the companionship and so on and so forth, but that it was me he just couldn't tolerate. I remember Greg asking me one time what it was we had in common, and I wasn't really able to come up with a suitable answer. I can't really identify what any of my boyfriends and I have had in common, but it was the first time someone had asked me point-blank, and I couldn't answer. Maybe everyone else could see what I couldn't; that J and I were not a well-suited pair, and it was destined to fail from the beginning.

Maybe my raunchiness, my willingness to accept just about everything, my inability to keep my trap shut, my level of comfort with myself and some others... maybe my slobbiness, my laziness, my lack of a career, my lack of an apartment, my being in school, my being unfettered by any children but my cat and fish... maybe all of these things, things other people value and appreciate in me, maybe all of them were a complete anathema to J.

I'm not trying to say by any stretch of the imagination that I am perfect and should be adored by all; on the contrary, I'm frequently self-deprecating in my comments and my beliefs about myself, and E for one is near the point of violence when I start putting myself down. We're working on building one another's self-esteem. So maybe it's all the bad things that I could see in myself that J saw and disliked. Maybe, and for some reason this came as a huge revelation to me this evening, maybe he just doesn't like me. Or he grew to dislike me during our time together.

It's not the reason all relationships disintegrate; goodness knows I haven't disliked everyone I've broken up with by far, but it's certainly a valid reason for a breakup, and it's certainly something I'd have an altogether too-easy time believing of myself, depressing as that may be to some.

And so, here we are. I can't blame PMS, I can't blame stress, I can't blame fights with anyone. Maybe it's tiredness, or maybe it's just time that I started to wake up to certain things, but tonight's activities left me feeling alone, lonely and vulnerable. Although I've given up basically all of the hope that things might somehow someday work out for J and I, and either my walls have reestablished themselves enough to mostly protect me or I've moved on fairly well, but there's still some power there, and that's scary. It's scary that people retain the ability to hurt us, and we can't necessarily control it, much as some people I know would say otherwise.

I can't simply choose to no longer feel anything; it has to happen gradually. For the most part, I've been okay, but every now and then I get stupid again. Considering today was just one huge stupid day, well, I guess this is just par for the course.

Anyhow, that's probably more than any of you wanted to know. Full disclosure, honesty, and showing off my vulnerability. I did get some needed control at some point in the evening, but some of that emotional crap was still tagging on. I should get more sleep.


I have killed two spiders in three days. They were big fuckers. And now they're dead.

I rule.

And I have pretty hair. :)
I got my hair cut today. I have pretty hair. :)

Walking to catch the bus (which wound up becoming a cab -- stupid me, forgetting that the buses don't run so late on weeknights), got accosted (sorta) by a crazy bum. E and I were walking along ('cause I insist on an escort late at night), and this bum tells us we should go have sex (after hollering some other shit, too). I'm like, okay... weird bum. So, being stupid (it's nearly one in the morning, after all), I say, "too late!" :P

Well, the bum takes that as an invitation to follow us or something, and he does. He catches up to us as we're about to cross the street, and says that maybe we should go have sex five times then. I'm just trying not to look at him, and E's getting kinda annoyed with this guy, and tells him to leave us alone or some such. As we're crossing the street, the bum's hollering something like, "listen to the whipped, telling me to go away!" or something ... I can't really remember, and I didn't really catch it, but it was funny and I was starting to get slightly worried he'd keep following us.

Fortunately, by the time that we came back out of the mall (after I grabbed some cash for a cab), he was gone. Eesh.

Moral of this story: Don't tell a bum "too late" when he tells you to go have sex. For some reason, it only upsets him, even if you're only doing it 'cause he was being stupid in the first place.


New article up at Whore's Boudoir.
Okay, the promised embarrassing story:

One day, shortly after getting "friendly" with someone I was seeing, we were having a conversation about weight. He was interested in losing weight, and stated that he'd recently hit 200 even. I asked if he'd lost any since, since he was wanting to get beneath 200, and he said that he'd only weighed himself the day before, and he wasn't really going to lose that soon.

I said I didn't realize that it'd only been the day before that he'd weighed himself, but that afterall, being under 200 was only a matter of ounces, so it was possible it'd happened already.

He said yeah, that's true, and after all, I haven't eaten for four days.

I said, I happen to know that that's not true.

Slowly, my brain kicked over the possible (and actual) double entendreness of that remark, and about the same time he started to grin (or maybe just before), I smacked him and said, 'Because we had dinner the night before, you asshole!'

Anyhow, I thought it was fucking hilarious, but maybe that's just me. :)

So, what else is new? Hung out for awhile with the 19-year old last night; turns out he and my sister used to take the bus together sometimes, 'cause he was dating a girl who went to my sister's school. Yeesh.

Going to a potluck tonight with E, and we're going to catch the game there, I imagine. Go Sens!

Which reminds me; Wednesday night I finished up work and headed over to catch the bus. I walk through a mall to get to where my bus stop is, and there's a restaurant there right on one end. Standing outside of the restaurant was a crowd of about twenty to thirty people, all watching the television that was up in the corner. Just as I passed through the crowd, a cheer went up -- it was pretty obvious we'd won the game. Sometimes, I really love my city. :)

Wednesday night was pretty dull at work, actually. No one was around, and all the managers were out it seemed, so we were having fun being stupid and goofing around. I was spending most of my time chatting and laughing with A and the 19-year old, and talking about all kinds of stupid stuff, mostly sex-related. Because yes, as people have said, whenever I'm involved in a conversation, things appear to go that way. :P

Ah well... trying to think of what else is interesting. The week has really flown by; I can't even really say what I've done, aside from work. :P Tuesday, my day off, I spent a bunch of time watching Sex and the City and Buffy, I'm sure... nothing very exciting. Got some mad snuggles from Shadow. :) I woke up one morning with her using my foot as a pillow, which was pretty cute -- usually it's Digger that does that.

This morning I came downstairs to give her a belly scritch. She was all folded up on the chair in the living room, looking really cute. Her and Digger will spoon together, and he'll wash her head while she purrs -- it's all very cute. :)

It's weird to think that in less than a week I'll be in New Brunswick, anticipating my cousin's wedding. She's going all crazy-like; she asked my dad to do the pictures for it, then cancelled it last night 'cause he was going to be too expensive, then my nanny got pissed off and rehired my dad. :) My cousin is the first of us seven granddaughters to get married, so my nanny definitely wants to have pictures -- there will be no cancelling, and I kinda agree with her.

Of course, that's not to say that my nanny hasn't had her crazy moments, too. My cousin's hall got double-booked, so they moved her to another one, but this one didn't have servers included. My nanny suggested that my cousin ask her friends and cousins to act as waitstaff at her wedding.

Uh huh.

I want to travel 24 hours round-trip by car to your wedding so I can dress up and be a waitress at it. No thank you; I'll just look at the pictures later and work in the meantime, thank you very much. :P Luckily, she never asked us to do it, so I didn't have to get grouchy about it. My mom told my nanny that was a stupid idea, and I guess maybe she took it to heart, or they worked something out.

And yes, I'll reiterate as my mom frequently did; it wasn't my cousin's idea, it was my nanny's. :)

Weddings make people crazy, and I think maybe I'll just elope, if I ever find someone dumb enough to marry me. ;)


I have an embarrassing story to share here, but no time in which to do it. It's pretty old, anyhow.

In the meantime, here's an embarrassing conversation that took place with someone else last night. :)

[in discussing how I don't have any interest in someone I think might still be interested]
Friend: I think [he]'s pretty mature.
Friend: If you need help, I'll distract him for you. :)
Me: *grin* You'll show some leg? :)
Friend: Shake my pasty white be-pimpled ass at him, and he'll go all pavlovian. :)
Me: Errrm... ew?
Friend: [I] got back, baybee. :)
Me: Man, if you thought I wasn't sleeping with you *before*...
Me: ;)
Friend: I'll unleash a bottle of clearasil on my hiney just for you. :)
Me: *rofl* On the site!
Friend: *laugh* Bitch! :) You can't just quote me every thirty seconds! ;)

And it kept going from there. Fun-ny!

Anyhow, must get dressed and head off to work. For some reason, they just don't accept "naked" as being within the dress code. :P More from me later.


Okay, so I've been busy the last while, and too tired to post very much. I'm too tired to really post right now, but I figure at the very least I must mention Buffy.

Was I disappointed with it? Maybe a little. It ended about the way I expected it would. I'm a little surprised that some of the people who would up dying, especially if my dad was right with the cast changes for next season on Angel; I'd love to see how they explain some of it, but I can imagine at least one explanation for it.

Okay, too vague and I'm annoying myself. For anyone that hasn't seen it, stop reading or whine later, 'cause this is your spoiler warning.

Spike dies in a blaze of glory -- somewhat literally -- and according to my dad, he's part of the Angel cast for next season. Best I can figure, they're going to resurrect him in Hell (or Heaven) and let him come back, claiming that since he had a soul and died nobley (nobely?), he can have another life. Or something; maybe Willow will magic him back, since he died from mystical energy and not a stake through the heart. Although my dad claimed that he got staked, and that's when he started being the sun, but I don't know.

Jay's been busy insulting me tonight: so far he's called me a kazoo and a person with a mean nose. I can barely see to type through the tears.

What else? Enjoyed the day off today, doing very little overall. Got some snugglage from Shadow, and Digger rested with Kim and I when we watched some Sex and the City. It was a rude episode; we covered his eyes. Or at least told him not to watch; since he was asleep, that wasn't a huge problem.

I've been enjoying the hanging out with the various peoples the last little while. Yesterday I got up early to go over to N's and watch as much of the Buffy marathon as we could. We were actually somewhat cheesed with it, though -- those who voted picked depressing, pivotal episodes. Sure, they're important to the series as a whole, but we were saying we wouldn't've necessarily picked them as "best." And of course, Hush and Once More With Feeling, the two we were waiting on, were the only two we didn't get to watch, seeing as how N and I had to work.

Work was pretty slow, actually. Nono, it was very slow; the longest four hours I've worked. :P I got together with E afterwards, and we grabbed some food and a drink at a restaurant nearby. Fun times.

What else? Well, Sunday I did my usual work and hung out with E for a bit after work -- we split fajitas, and they were surprisingly good. Saturday appears to be just a blur... oh yeah, work and then hung out with C for awhile. It's all coming back to me now.

Today I got to do some chatting with various friends online, and I set up an LJ account so I can read other people's "secret" journals. Stupid LJ annoys the crap out of me.

I know I still have to write about Friday's excursion of hilarity, but that'll come later. Right now, I'm really quite zonked and I think it's time for bed. I need to remember to pick up some new shirts or something tomorrow for work; I have a finite amount, and there is dispute over the blueness of my blue shirt. Plus, it's warming up and I don't have the patience to iron my shirts all the time, so... I want some non-blouses. :)

Dur, almost forgot. Chatted with Mark for a bit today, which was nice; I haven't seen him online in awhile, and I've had such a stupid schedule this week, so I haven't had the chance to call anyone. It was good to talk to him -- thinking about someone all the time just doesn't compare to actually getting to talk to/see them.
Jay art:

You are a Pirate Second Class

Do you remember the last time you took a chance? I do. It was when you decided to leave the security of your mother's womb and headed for the bright light. It's time to head for the next bright light, my friend. Creativity is not your strong suit. You are good at doing what you are told to do and that, in itself, is a gift. It's not a gift to you, mind you, but rather a gift to those who will be there to tell you what to do. You like long walks on the beach and cuddling, but would never admit that to your guy friends who think you are okay but can't always remember your name. Tapioca pudding seems a bit extreme for a fellow such as
yerself, what with all the bumps and stuff. It's a good thing ye be on a pirate ship, otherwise, ye'd would be walkin' because ye be positively pedestrian. Have a nice day.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!


Bleargh. More tired.

Worked today, then bought some books. Had some pizza at work, exchanged the cancelled plans for new ones, came home and watched some Sex and the City. Woot. :)

I watched about half of a Buffy episode, then got tired and had a nap. Hung out with a coworker for awhile, now I'm home again. I finished off the Buffy episode, and I'm going to bed.

I ran into Shawn and Sue on the bus today, so we chatted. Apparently I can manage to post a 17-paragraph update about nothing but Buffy. I apologize to all of you. :)

Happy (semi-belated) birthday to Ben!

Must remember to call the pharmacy tomorrow and put gas in the car. Knowing me, I'll forget both of these errands. :)

Space is running a 10-hour Buffy marathon on Monday; I'll be getting together with N and Madeleine to watch at least five or six of the episodes. *dance* Gotta remember to tape the final episode of Buffy on Monday for the 19-year old coworker, since he has to work. Sucker. :)

Today I talked about Buffy and customers with A, one of the other coworkers. It was pretty slow, but I sold a surprisingly high amount of stuff. Maybe someone made a $2k purchase while I was on my lunch or something and I never knew about it. Hrm... :) I had a few customers who were somewhat grumpy, and my last hour of my shift was pretty bad, at least physically -- all of a sudden I went from feeling okay to feeling nauseated and then my stomach seriously hurt. I realized it was because I went from being fine to being starving, more than anything, which is why I didn't mind hanging around for a bit to grab a slice of pizza and eat some of my nuts and a granola bar. I felt better later.

Digger's girlfriend was hanging around the yard tonight, and Mom kept trying to shoo her away. It didn't work so well -- she went into our neighbour's yard and continued to meow for him to come out. Shadow was pretty upset by all of this; she didn't like the presence of the other cat, and I think she was making it jumpy, since it wouldn't let me pet it. Ah well.

Anyhow, such is the dullness of my life -- but I don't mind it. I like having it quiet every now and then; it allows me to get things done, like reading and watching Buffy. :) I should also make sure I clean the fish tanks tomorrow, but I probably won't. I suck that way.

And finally, I started reading the book Mad gave me a few days ago; it's called Beauty, by Sherri Tupper, and so far I think I'm enjoying it. It's interesting, and it's certainly not frustrating me. :) I also picked up the new Discworld Compendium today and a book called Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse; it sounded funny. I'll let you know how it goes -- I know I'm hugely overdue for updating the Bibliophilage page.


Too tired/no time to write right now, so notes:

* Crazy lady at the theatre
* Thoughts on the Matrix
* My realization that yes, I am still a tard: The reason everyone there had a blog was 'cause it was a freaking blog meet!
* Frustration with friends (not really, but maybe)
* "Shawn is giving Jesus the power of WOOD!"
* "He died for your sins... now it's time for you to die for his!"
* Smells -- the fields at night in summer; smells on my hands, etc.
* Yet another person deciding I'm bad in bed (this time, it's Gord, and he hasn't even slept with me!)
* How Gord is straight

I think that's covered much of it. For now, I sleep.


Most excellent awesomeness. I am now the proud owner of Sex and the City, season 4. *dance*

The next few months are going to so rock my socks for things like that -- the next Robert Asprin, that I've only been waiting for for oh, ten years (literally), not to mention Buffy season 4, and Harry Potter book 5. Dude!

Maybe I won't go to the Matrix tonight -- I'll just stay in and finish off Buffy season 5 and Sex and the City. ;)


I have finally updated the archives page of the Whore's Boudoir (or the WB as I like to call it) to include all those posts from mid-February onwards that I have made and was too lazy to include before now.

I also got an email from someone pointing out that one of my pages was wrong, so I have also fixed that. Enjoy. :)

And... just for Gord... I fixed the typo. :)
Today I am a tard.

First, I woke up too early. I thought I was working from 10-5:30, so I got up at 7. I didn't sleep well. As my folks were getting ready to leave, I realized that no, in fact, I don't work until 11:30; I could have had another 90 minutes of precious, precious sleep. Tard.

Second, I wore my fantastic ass pants, which are my pinstripe banker-type pants. As I was talking about how much I love these pants in front of one of the managers (the one that scares me), he said that I was actually out of dress code, and he wouldn't have noticed except that I called attention to my pants. He was laughing though, so I fear not being in trouble.

Third... well, so far, there be no third. Let's hope.

E was at his height of craziness today. He announced when I showed up this morning that he was pregnant with my child, so we were toying with various names for it. Apparently it's a little girl. I've suggested Siobhan (pronounced Shivan), and he's suggested Persephone. Both good, solid, unusual names. :)

Nothing terribly exciting happened today. I slept on the bus ride home, so I feel revived. I also, however, feel and smell somewhat... less perfumey than usual. I'm going to be fixing up some archives and such for the WB, then bathing and watching some Buffy before heading back out. I got my grad gifts from my aunt and grandfather today, so I now have a pretty necklace from my aunt. :) As well, I got paid today (and I get paid tomorrow), so I have to do some banking before it all gets spent. I like money. :)

Tomorrow perhaps will include tales of stupidity? We shall see. ;)
New article up at the Whore's Boudoir.
So, I'm finally getting used to this new working thing, and that means that my feet aren't ready to fall off my legs in quite the same way that they did when I first started. This makes me happy. :)

I felt really tired this morning, and I didn't want to get out of bed, but I forced myself and I even got ready in a quick amount of time (relative to normal, that is). Of course, then I got held up downtown by the bleedin' protestors, and as much as I could gather I was held up by a bunch of pro-lifers, which irritated me. Well, not really, but if I'd really wanted to, I'd have gotten irritated by it.

As I later said at work, I can respect what it is that protestors are trying to accomplish, but so far three times now I've been delayed to work, unable to catch my bus at a convenient location or catch the bus in a location that wasn't open to the elements (which were out in full force at the time) because of protestors, so all they serve to do is cheese me off.


*shakes fist*

Yeah, there's a lot of passion there, isn't there? :)

More grousing about stupidity and such at work. Then I went to the other job and had a decent time. It was pretty steady for awhile, and when I cashed out I was $0.98 under -- the first time I've been under yet. That kinda annoyed me, but the manager shrugged it off and said I wasn't perfect, so why spend a lot of time on it? I also managed to achieve 3.4% conversion on the cards, so that was a good day. :)

Spent most of the time chatting with A and D, the 19-year old, when there was time. E was busy bugging A, and almost ignoring me -- I don't know if I offended him or what the last time we chatted, but there's not too much I can do. *shrug* Guys are strange and ... well, strange.

Anyhow, I got some replies done to some emails that have been staring accusingly at me for awhile, and it was weird... a few of them were just from random people who happened across my site. One guy was saying that one of my posts (from April) was very insightful, and I couldn't remember what I'd written, so I finally fixed up my archives and went back and checked and read it... and I was actually fairly impressed. As I was telling Mark recently, I usually find that everything I write is crap. I don't give it much thought, and if someone compliments something I wrote, I can't usually remember what the hell it was.

If someone says to me, "Hey, I enjoyed your last article on the WB," unless it was something I really laboured over, or really thought was stellar, I can't remember what the hell I wrote. I'm also always curious what it is that people like about the article in particular -- hell, one girl said I made her cry, and that's pretty ... wow -- which is why I pester people with questions. :)

I find it's also always interesting to see what it was that people found to be their "favourite" articles -- it tells me a lot about people when they say it's the more relationshippy oriented ones, and which ones in particular, than say the sexually-oriented ones. Or even what it is that they consider "racy" -- I've had one person say they found my orgasms article to be fairly "racy," whereas me rereading it, I found it to be somewhat tame. *shrug*

Anyhow... all of this is my rambling way to saying that I'm starting to accept that yes, Virginia, I may actually be a half-decent writer. Now if I could only do something about it; I know people who work as a freelance writer at multiple newspapers, or people come through the store and buy books on writing or magazines that focus on writing, and I think to myself, "Why don't I have that? Or why didn't I think of that?" -- why didn't I apply to journalism, instead of taking communications? 'Cause I suck and I have no drive. :) Anyone want to pay me for writing to this and the WB? :)

Ah well... it's getting late and this is long and pointless -- it's certainly not insightful or anything like that ;) -- so I'm off to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow to be at both jobs... have I mentioned that like, a hundred times yet? It's true. :P

A note to anyone who still wears silk; if you're in a store that you know will be warm and where you might be hustling around, don't wear it. It's a surprisingly warm material for something so light, and while I knew that years ago, I was reminded of it today. I really need to buy some plain t-shirts in dress-code approved colours. :P


Urgh. More evidence that he's stupid. So stupid. Drives me insane. I blame him for this headache.

Yesterday was a whole day of nothing, and it's got me worn out. Does that make sense? I discovered a few new blogs today, so those get added to my massive list of what I read. I still need to update my blogroll, though; there are a few links to update or remove, and a few new ones to add, now. Stupid multi-browsers, makes it tough to stay on top of things. :)

My lower back is really itchy and it feels supremely satisfying to scratch it.

I keep trying to make plans to see Matrix on Thursday, then remembering that I have to work both jobs on Thursday and that's why I can't go. Friday night, however, is another matter entirely.

Dad and I watched Buffy and Angel last night. Well, I watched Angel on a separate tv, 'cause I was debating not watching it and he was driving me nuts with the channel flipping during the commercials. Anyhow, Buffy was pretty cool. We have our doubts about what's really going on in some cases. It'll be interesting to see how they wrap it all up. For the longest time, I was rooting for Buffy and Angel to get back together, but now... I don't know. Spike's such a sweetie, and he's been really good to her (at least as far as I know, I haven't seen all of the 7th season -- I'm somewhere near the end of the 5th, where he's all in love with her and doing nice things and she keeps rejecting him), and he'll be so hurt. So... I have the feeling she'll wind up with neither of them, or she'll be dead or something. I hope she doesn't die; that'd be really depressing.

And what'll probably happen is J will watch it Monday night (as he did this week; stupid satellite owner) and then taunt me with details online. What a bum.

Anyhow, must sneak off to grab shower and breakfast before anyone notices I'm online and starts chatting. I'll be back late tonight; working the first job, then the second until 10. Must remember to wear nice pants and a white, black or blue top.


Contrary to popular belief (okay, perhaps just the coworker, and he doesn't count 'cause he's stupid), I hate hurting people. Particularly people I care about.

I'm sorry.


I spell my name with ONE N. Why is that so fucking hard for people to remember?

I'm talking people who've known me for years. People who've seen me write it out countless times -- hundreds of times.

Yes, fine. Jennifer is spelled with two n's. I could understand if I spelled Jennifer with one n and people kept putting two. Fine, that's okay.

But just because Jen is the diminuative form of Jennifer does not mean it automatically takes on two ns. It's a totally separate fucking name! If I was christened solely Jen, then would people still be spelling my name wrong?

It's like having someone named Mark, and constantly spelling his name with a c. Or Erik and spelling it with a c. Or fuck!

Maybe I'll just start misspelling everyone else's names and see if they start getting pissed off.
Ah, home sweet home. Time to catch up on owed phone calls, owed emails, and sleep.

Oh, wait. It's 2 a.m. Perhaps it's just time to catch up on sleep at the moment.

However, a quick rundown of the last few days (checks notes from prior entries to refresh memory):

Let's see, Wednesday I worked from 3:30 until 10:00. It was pretty quiet, and I was spending a lot of time chatting with D, the 19-year old guy who works in mags. We got to joking about him looking at porn magazines and he told me a story about finding one in the washroom once, and he left it there, but the guy who used the washroom after him thought it was his and handed it to him. He was embarrassed. :)

Anyhow, we were getting pretty stupid and tired, and so he started clowning around to make me laugh. At one point, I glanced over while he was putting mags away and he was rubbing one of his buttcheeks. As I wondered if I was supposed to see this or not, he looked over at his shoulder at me and grinned. I started laughing. Later in the evening, and I can't even remember why, he came up to me and wrapped his arms around me from the side, and hooked one leg around my legs to give me a hug/hump. I can't quite remember what it was meant to achieve, but it sure as hell cracked me up.

I cashed out and came back to grab my water bottle. D told me to come back downstairs and say goodbye when I left. I was somewhat confused, but said okay. I grabbed my stuff, came back down and said bye. He said he'd walk me to the door, and asks me when I'm working next.

He walks me outside, I reach up to pat his hair (which he wears quite poofed up) and told him to stay out of the porn mags. He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze, and I'm left wondering if, had I shown the slightest bit of interest, he'd have tried to kiss me. Weird.

I go home and very shortly go to bed. Must get up in the morning, for tomorrow is...

I get up early (note the lurching post, that applies to both Thursday and Saturday; I don't do mornings well). I work all day, then E and I get together for dinner. We eat food (mine wasn't too bad), we laugh a lot, he proposes to me and we laugh a lot more. Around nine I head home, grab a bath and then head out to hang out with C for awhile. Watched some bad television with his roommates, chat for awhile, then I head home.

Get up, go to work. Get together with Jenn, and we hit the dirty porn store. Okay, not really -- we went to the clean porn store. :) I bought a magnet that has a blue bunny on it holding a knife and underneath it says, "Cute but pyscho, so things even out." And a pin that has a slogan on it I saw years ago that I thought was funny: "I fuck everything that moves, so don't fidget."

*waits until various male friends stop twitching in their seats*

Yes, yes. I've seen it before. :)

Anyhow, we met up with E and then headed over to the Thai restaurant, where Stefan, Matt and Angus were patiently awaiting us. After some badgering, everyone figured out what they wanted, and as has been detailed in a few blogs, Stefan got a whole fish. It was a small fish, but it came complete with all the accessories -- you know, head, tail, eyes, etc. Stefan being Stefan, he started mucking about with the fish, telling Jenn and I what his favourite parts of the fish were, and eating straight from the carcass. I couldn't watch. I kept turning away, especially once he was left with mostly the head and started talking about how good head meat was. While I was laughing, I still couldn't watch.

E was as entertaining as always, and the lot of us discussed various topics associated with sex, masturbation, and other assorted "dirty" things -- quite loudly, I assume. I'm quite bad at regulating my voice, as many people who've publicly shushed me can attest.

After we finished dinner, we wandered over to the cat house and sat outside chatting for several hours. Jenn and I enjoyed being lesbians for awhile, though somehow all the guys missed out on our passionate mad make out session; their loss. Our group split up around quarter to ten or so, and Angus, E and I headed over to get some hot drinks, some warming up and some washroom privileges. I bought a Beeker puppet that sits on top of a candy cane stick, and Angus and E chatted. Eventually we all split up again and caught buses home.

I woke up (read the lurching stuff) and went into work. Wow, was it busy. There was a constant line up, and some snotty people. *grr* I can deal with them, I just don't let it get to me. That's what venting here is all about! :)

I worked non-stop until my shift was over, then sat with my feet up for awhile and flipped through a UHM magazine until it was time to get ready for the bachelorette party. Headed over to the restaurant and had a great time chatting with the ladies over really tasty Indian food for several hours. Our bill was really big, and I put it on my credit card 'cause I'm really stupid and didn't bring much cash with me (I thought I had a twenty on me, but it turns out I only had two fives). We got out of the restaurant just before 11, so I had enough time to run over to work and grab my backpack before the store closed.

However, I forgot my sweatshirt, so I had to go back today to grab that. Although I wasn't freezing, I really wanted it 'cause it was so cold and rainy today -- a condition that's apparently going to last until Friday or so. Urgh.

Today was spent schlepping around downtown. I called up Jay at one point to tell him about the Klingon story, which he already knew about. I like telling people things they don't know.

I think everyone at work was super-bored; K and W kept popping in to chat with me, and we were all being insanely stupid and goony. W and I were trading information on relationship issues, and we have somewhat different philosophies, it would seem. Not drastically different, but slightly.

I called up E at one point 'cause I was bored and wanted to see if he'd had fun the other night. He was at work, but called me back and asked if I wanted to grab a coffee when I was done. We headed over to the same restaurant we ate at the other night, and spent a bit of time chatting and stuff. Speaking of different philosophies on relationships... whew! :) He's really high-energy, and today I felt awfully zonked, so it was tough to keep up with him, but I think I sorta managed. Probably not.

So now I'm all caught up, at least here, and headed off to bed. I think I'll do a bit more writing (stuff that won't go anywhere but my little books), and then pass out. The last few days have been insanely packed with work and social events, so I haven't had time to talk to anyone that wasn't in my immediate presence for quite some time. :P I think the next few weeks are going to be a bit slower, so it'll probably be easier to find me online, and I might even have time to catch up on the emails that have been sitting, unanswered, in my various mailboxes for oh, say, a month or more. Urgh.

Note to self: charging cell phone is a good thing. Having it die is not good. :P

Ah yes; and somewhere in there, finally made the time to write an email to J to apologize for having turned insane on him after the breakup. We chatted it out a bit back and forth, and I think things are going to be a bit more comfortable between us in the future. I think. I hope. I hate being awkward.


[sfx: alarm sounds]

A hand rises from the depths of slumber to shut off first one, then the second alarm.




Head downstairs to feed the cats. Refresh Digger's water dish. Discover that no one refilled the container with cat food. Momentarily begin grumbling until the sight lands on the opened bag of catfood at hand. Why are people so lazy? Refill container. Stumble back to cat's dishes and fill. No real concept of how full the dishes are because of the lack of glasses I am sporting.

Lurch back upstairs. Find bathroom right where I left it. Lock door, assemble various toiletry products required for making one (i.e., me) clean and smelling pretty and such. Hear Shadow meowing at the door. Open door, let her in. Fill sink with water (last night this game involved me constantly pushing her out of the way so I could brush my teeth and then she got her feet wet when I finally did fill the sink, 'cause she was already in it. Dumb cat). Get in shower. Begin wash procedure.

Cat is yowling, wants out. "Hang on a minute," I say, trying to finish slathering goop known as facial scrub on face. Cat yowls again. "Hang on a minute." Open door, let cat out. Shower continues, undisturbed.

As I shut off the shower head and let the water fill the tub somewhat, hear cat yowling again. Argh! "What is it?" Cat wants in to observe the shaving procedure or something. Let her in, she clambers up on the tub and sits between the curtains. A few times during the event I thought she was going to step into the tub. I would have laughed, but I know that there would have been blood involved, at least to my poor body.

Feeling very bleary-eyed. Being a social butterfly is good and bad. Good, 'cause I like hanging out with people and chatting with them. Bad, because I never know enough to say, "I have to go" and actually stick to it, so I'm very tired.

Mad's bachelorette party is tonight (different from the bridal shower), and I have an hour and a half between work and that to fill. I think I'll be sleeping. There's a couch in the staff room, I'm sure I can occupy it without offending too many people.

Anyhow, will write about the last day or so soon. Must discuss Wednesday's molestation at work :); Thursday's dinner and hanging out with E from work, and last night's adventures with Jenn, Angus, Matt, Stefan (how sad is it that I could hyperlink each of those names?), as well as E from work. Good times were had all around, I believe, and poor Jenn I think has about a glass of water or two entirely wedged in her sinus cavities. It's awful, but I don't think the people at the table next to us spoke English, which was to their advantage -- they had children, our conversation was distinctly rude, and it was loud. Yay for my friends. :)


Quiet day today, nothing exciting about it. I watched a bunch of Buffy episodes on my computer, then watched the current season stuff on tv with Dad, after supper. I just finished putting away some of my clothes and getting rid of some others, and I'm watching Grease on my computer. I like having a DVD-ROM, but I do still prefer to watch movies on tv. It just means that I can watch 'em anytime, instead of waiting for a time when our one DVD player isn't being used -- or the TV to which it is hooked up.

And for the person I suspect is going to suggest I buy a PS2 or something equivalent to act as an alternative DVD player... no. :)

I caught Phone Booth last night with one of my new coworkers. It was a fun movie, and it semi-redeemed Schumacher for what he did to the Batman series... wait, no. On second thought, nothing could redeem him for that. :P Nonetheless, the flick wasn't too bad.

It's really been pretty quiet the last little while. Sunday was work and I was screwing up all over the place. Just making stupid mistakes, but it was all fine. Monday was more work and then off for the flick, and we hung out at Denny's afterwards and chatted. Then today was just me hanging around some more and as I said, doing nothing. :) It's my one day off this week, so I decided to enjoy it.

I did start my next article, so that was encouraging, at least. :)

Anyhow, I'm pretty zonked, so I'm off to bed. I'm sure I'll have more interesting news tomorrow. Or maybe not. :)


professor x
You are Professor X!

You are a very effective teacher, and you are very committed to those who learn from you. You put your all into everything you do, to some extent because you fear failure more than anything else. You are always seeking self-improvement, even in areas where there is nothing you can do
to improve.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla
I have sent off an article to FLESH, posted a new article at Whore's Boudoir, and sent off two resumes -- one was for a job I won't get, and the other for no job in particular. Takes the pressure off. ;) I have been productive in my post-workedness. :)


Well, Friday night I got to see X-Men 2 with Ben, Angus and Jenn. We were aiming for the 8:30 show, but those tickets sold out quite quickly, so we wound up seeing the 10:00 show instead. Gord and Shawn were supposed to join us, but didn’t. Apparently there were issues with regards to figuring everything out, but I was unaware of any of them – I was at work. Whoo. :)

Anyhow, I really enjoyed the movie. I was impressed that there was a storyline from the comics that they were working in (concerning Jean Grey, and that’s all I’m going to say – if you know the comics, you can likely figure out what storyline I’m talking about), and it definitely leaves the series open to the third movie.

While in the theatre, I noticed that someone near me was wearing Pi, by Givenchy, this really yummy men’s cologne. I think it might’ve actually been the guy sitting directly next to me, ‘cause I noticed that I could still smell it later, when we were on the bus. The four of us mocked the commercials and trailers resoundingly, and I made the odd snide remark to Ben that I heard my other companion laughing at. I always enjoy making other people laugh, especially strangers in a way – with your friends, you usually have a good idea of what’ll make ‘em laugh. With strangers, it’s a real toss-up, and it makes you glow a little when you’re successful.

Before the movie started and we were all chatting, apparently my companion was checking me out (says Angus), and was looking like he was going to say something, but no go. Me? Completely oblivious, as usual.

We went to catch the bus and I called Jay to tell him we’d seen his name in the credits – and we even cheered like the losers we are :) – and waited for the bus. And waited. And waited; it was at least a half hour before one finally showed up. We found some seats and Angus, Jenn and I chatted (although Jenn was mostly listening) and Ben slept. One guy got on the bus and I stared at him and smiled, thinking he looked an awful lot like someone I’d had classes with – he smiled at me and said hi, and I told him, “I’m sorry, you look like someone I know.” He replied that I did as well.

He sat near me, and Angus said that he also was checking me out, and kept looking as if he was going to make some comment on our conversation (which, if I remember correctly, revolved around depression, repression, feelings and other serious topics for one-thirty in the morning), but never did. Angus mentioned he was going to address a comment to this guy in order to bring him in, but didn’t. Ah well.

When the bus passed through downtown and picked up the drunks, two of them sat next to us – a guy and his girlfriend. At one point, the girl was ready to throw up; she had her hand over her mouth and then got off at the next stop. Jenn was the only one among us who noticed; I was sitting right beside her and completely unaware of what was going on, as was Angus, and of course Ben, who was still asleep.

Anyhow, we got out to the end of the line (not having woken Ben up for his stop), and I drove everyone home. Ben had roused at this point, and we discussed the finer points of telephone and long-distance relationship etiquette, as well as various other topics that had come up. Angus was my last drop-off, and he and I sat and chatted for awhile in his driveway.

I’d been invited to go to a party after the movie, had we gotten out early enough, but because it was the late show and by the time I left Angus’ it was quarter after 3, I was certainly in no mood to be driving out to a party full of relative unknowns, especially as I had to get up early.

The next morning, I woke up and drove to work. I was running seriously behind; I actually had to sprint to make it in, and I barely made it in on time, which annoyed me. Stupid ironing that I did at the last minute! We were having a huge sale at work, and I stopped twice during my entire shift (7.5 hours) – for my half-hour lunch break and my fifteen minute break. Otherwise, it was non-stop, but a lot of fun.

There are a few of my coworkers that I have a lot of fun working with, and two of them are fairly new hires (including E, who was hired at the same time as me). E and I have a total schtick going on, and it involves a lot of back and forth interplay when we’re dealing with customers and telling everyone that the other loves us and wants us. He called me a looker on Friday, which was kinda fun. :) I think he has a lot of self-esteem issues, though, which is unfortunate; he said between his first girlfriend and being the fat kid in school, he has no self-esteem. It’s really too bad, ‘cause he seems to be a really smart guy (doing chemical engineering, so he’s no dummy), and he’s got a great, upbeat attitude and he’s cute.

After work, I met up with some old friends, who are based out of Nova Scotia. Our folks have been really tight for years, and we’ve all become decent friends. Two of their daughters (the two closest in age to me) are living here this summer (one attends my uni), and the other was in town this weekend, so we’d all been ordered to hang out together.

The two youngest seemed somewhat surly for a good portion of the day, and I don’t know what was going on. Basically, once E, the eldest showed up, I just chatted with her until we got back to my place. Everyone loosened up somewhat at dinner, and E and I had alcoholic beverages with our dinner. By the end of my bottle of Smirnoff Ice, I was feeling both exhausted and comfortable.

Dad barbecued some steaks and baked potatoes, and I think that makes four times in the last two or three weeks that I’ve had steak – barbecued in particular. It’s weird; I don’t eat a lot of red meat (I pretty much live off chicken), but here I am, consuming vast amounts of it. It’s too bad the steak wasn’t as rare as I would’ve liked, but it was still quite good. My dad’s a good cook.

After dinner, the youngest three (including my sister) tried desperately to convince E to do tequila shots. They were making plans to walk to Sobey’s to buy limes or lemons so she could do them desperately, and they kept up this pushing for about an hour. As E and I said afterwards, it was funny the first few times; it was fucking annoying after an hour and a half straight. I asked my sister at one point why she was so determined to pour alcohol down E’s throat, and then the three youngest started turning it into us calling them alcoholics and they always had to drink and blah blah blah. Argh, drove me nuts, especially with my mom standing there laughing at the whole mess.

Finally, finally, finally, the three left to go to the local bar, and E and I walked over to the Dairy Queen to eat ice cream. Somewhat of a role reversal, but we were happy with it. We closed the place down, sitting over our respective desserts and chatting really nicely the whole time, then came back to the house to find the three already there. The three who’d been calling us old and tired and washed up (pardon us for having worked full days today and being tired) were stretched out in the living room, nearly falling asleep. They blamed it on their two drinks. *roll*

Anyhow, my dad drove ‘em home, and I came upstairs and watched some Buffy, read for a bit and crashed. E and I exchanged email addresses and such, and since we’re both going to be downtown basically seven days a week, we figure we’ll meet up a bit more this summer. At least, hopefully. :)

My sister has already begun her campaign of wilful stupidity and ignorance of common courtesies. It’s amazing that someone has gotten to her age and “maturity” (please take note of the sarcastic quotes) and still has not figured out the simple mechanics inherent in changing a roll of toilet paper. Or taking off her shoes when she enters the house. *mutter* My moving out or September cannot happen fast enough.

E and I had a great deal of fun trashing our sisters’ respective character flaws at the DQ though, so that was fun. It’s fantastic to vent to someone who understands and can sympathize or empathize with your point of view; I mean, it’s tricky to vent to Ben about how insane my sister can make me, considering that one of his brothers is his best friend and all. :) At the same time, I think sisters can be so much more infuriating than brothers, although I can’t really speak from personal experience.

Anyhow, I have to put some clothes on to head off to work. I hadn’t intended to write so much – I know, people complain when I post huge updates, but it gives everyone who reads here from work something to do :) – but it was there and needed saying. I will be doing some more writing from work, but for assorted other projects, and likely not this site.

And in positive work news… Mr. Asshole has finally been banned! Oh, frabjous day, calloo callay, she chortled in her joy.
Some days, I severely dislike my sister.


I feel quite strongly that someone should sit Rod Stewart down and explain to him that he should only record his original material.

I had to upload him singing, "They can't take that away from me" today, and quite frankly, I could barely listen to the first ten seconds. I honestly didn't listen to the song that closely, but that which I did hear, I hated. With the fiery passion of ten thousand burning suns. Because you know what? That song deserves only to be recorded by serious, ohIdon'tknow, jazz artists, and not singers like Rod Stewart.

Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing it? Classic. Rod Stewart singing it? Travesty. An assault on good musical tastes everywhere. It was very much poo.

For those having trouble playing at home; Rod Stewart, "They can't take that away from me"? I didn't like it. :)

Anyhow, that's today's news. Well, that and I had one of my offers from work renewed -- although this time a relationship was also somewhat offered. I think he's just hard up for lovin', but it's nice to know that my potential status has been upgraded from "nostrings booty call." :P :)

What else? Well, I'm tired and my legs and feet hurt. But some of my coworkers are a lot of fun to work with, so that's cool. The others don't seem to warm up as quickly, but I think I'm getting there for them. I seem to work with a lot of the same people, so that's kinda nice.

Well, I did also have a list that I promised to go through, so let's see...

Ah yes, before I forget: I have a date for my graduation now. I mean, a date that grad's going to happen. :) June 3rd, at 2:30 p.m., I will once again don a cap and gown (or something and a gown) and stride across a stage, watched by hundreds of people I don't know and a few I do while someone mispronounces my name at me. Sweet!

So, starting with the less raunchy stuff:

The Bridal Shower
My dad drove me out to the semi-east end Sunday morning so I could grab a lift with N, one of Madeleine's bridesmaids. I got to see her dress, which was really pretty and looked really nice on her -- I say no more so as to keep it a surprise. Afterwards, we drove over to pick up AM and Mad, and when we arrived, JW opened the door and announced to us, "Mad's not here." He didn't move from the doorway to invite us in, so we promptly played this up, staring around the porch and saying that we'd wait outside. We were invited inside, where we stood about and chatted while we waited.

When I asked if I could use the washroom, I was told no, and so I offered to go out and piddle on the porch. I got to use the washroom. :)

Then it was off to Madeleine's bridal shower, complete with cute party games and such. It was held at her maid of honour's house. It was the first time I'd met her maid of honour, and I liked her; she's really sweet. We had awesome homemade Indian food, and it was my first exposure to samosas -- I just had the one, but it was really tasty. Because I mistimed my washroom visit, I wound up becoming a "toilet paper bride" -- whereby my teammates designed me a dress made from a roll of toilet paper. No, Jay, I wasn't naked underneath. It was great fun, except that I wound up with a butt bow, and flowers in my meagre cleavage that kept coming undone; my dress style would've required a larger-busted woman to really bring it all together.

Falling asleep at work
After the bridal shower, I got dropped off downtown so I could toddle off to work. Since I didn't sleep well the night before, and I was up early to ensure a prompt arrival at N's place, I was pretty exhausted by the afternoon. In fact, it got so that around 6 p.m., an hour into my shift, I was very very tempted to phone various people to see if they could come in and cover for me, because I didn't think I was going to make it to the end of my shift (11 p.m.). I settled into my chair and wound up getting pretty comfortable pretty quickly, with the end result that I dozed off for about a ten minute stretch or so. Not all at once; I kept checking the time to ensure that everything was running smoothly, and I did have one ear attuned to what was going on to make sure I didn't miss any cues, but I did doze off. *blush* The thing is, I was in the right zone and got enough rest that I felt good for the rest of the evening, so I guess it balanced out.

Lord knows I'm not the first to have done it and I won't be the last; at least I didn't get out of my chair and crawl under the board to sleep, like one person I heard of. :P

Why I hate everyone under the age of 20 (with perhaps a few exceptions)
Backtracking across the weekend, and explaining why I didn't get enough sleep Saturday night, Ben and I wandered out past downtown to hang out with the gang for OFK's birthday. There was quite the group there; we played some DanceDance Revolution, and I actually played for once. Well, a few times, but it was fun. I was told I did really well for a beginner -- I was getting C's on level 2s and 3s, whereby usually newbies die out. Mind you, N and I died a few times on the level 3s, but we had fun, at least. :) JW is crazy to watch playing it, as is Mad or AM; they're all quite good at it.

Anyhow, a group of us wound up in conversation for quite a stretch of the evening, and around quarter after 2 in the morning, Greg dropped Ben and I off downtown so we could begin our trek home. We picked up some cash from the bank and just as we were trying to find a cab to flag down, the bus arrived, so we took it. Big mistake; because (at this point) it was about twenty to 3 in the morning, we were riding the bus with all the drunken 19- and 20-year old morons who drink to get stupidly trashed and can't handle themselves -- or behave -- when they do. Urgh. Two people directly across from us smoked two cigarettes, one after the other, and a joint was being passed around between a few people. There was one young guy whose sole vocabulary consisted of "motherfuck" this and "motherfuck" that. Now, I'm no purist; Lord knows I can swear with the best of them, but after hearing it a dozen times in less than a minute... frankly, I think we get your point. You're uneducated and drunk. Great to have you along for the ride.

One of the girls stumbled up the length of the bus to talk to the driver, and Ben and I secretly hoped that as the crowds thinned out, the driver would notice something -- perhaps the noxious fumes emanating from the back? -- but alas, very shortly what we heard over the intercom was the announcement that one of the pot smokers was celebrating her 20th birthday today, and happy birthday to her. My sentiments at the time: woo. Imagine that as lowercase and unenthusiastic as you possibly can, and that about sums it up.

I opened a window in an attempt to circulate some air and get the cigarette stink off of Ben and I, and it happened to be making one young thing in the back cold. She started asking if we'd close the window, and I, looking to punish the lot of them for the inconvenience of their presence (ooh, can I sound more arrogant?), said that I was having trouble breathing. Well, Miss Thing was complaining about how "fucking freezing" she was, and the group of them started getting more and more aggressive and semi-abusive as the trip went on, so rather than getting off at the end of the line as I had planned, I wound up getting off at Ben's stop and splitting a cab with him. One girl stole our cab -- hello, there's a lineup! -- but it actually paid off in the end, 'cause we got the...

Nice cab driver
Not a lot I can say about him, aside from he was really chatty and nice, and I liked him. I wound up tipping him $4 'cause he was really understanding and nice and such, and even though I didn't get home until 4 in the morning and didn't sleep for about an hour after that, he definitely improved the day.

Necrophilia vs. bestiality vs. bestiality necrophilism
Backing up to earlier in the evening, this has to do with a topic that Greg (of course ;) introduced. I forget how, I forget why, but apparently it had a lot to do with the fact that he was short on sleep as well. Namely, he was discussing necrophilia and bestiality, and then wondering which would be more immoral -- to have sex with a dead person, or a dead animal. I said a dead animal, because it combines two elements -- bestiality and necrophilia -- and then we started discussing whether people are reduced to the level of animals once they're dead... or something like that. To be honest, I was trying my best to stay out of the conversation, but it wasn't very easy... especially when it moved to

Necrophilia with Jen
I think this came about because I made some comment about how these conversations probably never take place when I'm not around; that they're nice, happy types of conversations the nights I'm not there, but when I am... although to be perfectly honest, I don't remember how the hell it came about. I do remember, quite distinctly, that it led to Greg having the following conversation with himself:
"Oh no, we do talk about you when you're gone, but it's more like, "Y'know Jen? Yeah, I can't wait until she's dead. Then I can have sex with her!""

Then JW jumped in and helped out with different emphases that could be placed on different words -- "We'll only have sex wth you when you're dead." or "We'll only have sex with you when you're dead" and so on and so forth.

I think I wailed somewhat plaintively that I was sure that somewhere existed people who would want to have sex with me while I was still alive, to which I was told something about how that group would only do it when I was dead, just for me... or words to that effect.

And that's the necrophilia stories.

Had some great chats with Jay the last few days. We've made plans to be drunk at the wedding, although N mentioned that the whole group is going to be like that, so we might have some company. ;) It's all a joke, but it's funny to talk about. :) We've also decided that we're probably going to say horribly inappropriate things at the wrong time, so we probably shouldn't sit together -- although since he's no longer putting out for J at this event, and I've booked him as my sorta-not-really-confirmed date, then we might have to sit together. :)

Although we do have crazy plans for who he could take as a date, although since we've been asked not to bring dates, it's really all just in jest... but fantastic jest nonetheless. Okay, so I found it funny. But it's the kind of the thing that would bring about a cry of horror or shock from the rest of the group, so it would never be acted upon -- Jay and I are neither stupid, nor cruel. :)

Anyhow, I must very much be off to bed now. I hope this update will help keep people busy for awhile. ;) I'm off to bed and then to work... the month of May is going to be a busy one, at least across a few weekends. At some point soon I'm going to post my new schedule (at least over the next few weeks), but in the meantime, it stands as such:

Tomorrow: 12-7:30, then off to see X-Men 2 with Gord, Shawn, Ben, and I imagine Sue.
Saturday, 10-5:30. Afterwards, hanging out with friends of the family.
Sunday, 5-11.

Monday-Wednesday, usual hours. Then Wednesday is 3:30-10:00. Beyond that, I can't remember and I'm too lazy to go look. :)

Working two jobs somewhat sucks, and working one where I'm on my feet for large portions of the day really sucks. :P

For now, I'm off to drag my tired bones off to bed and speculate on future column topics. Or just snore.

Oh yes, and because I know you all care desperately: I've burned all of season 6 to CDs and I have but one episode in season 4 to download for my collection of seasons 4-7 to be complete. I rule. ;)

I also hit the banks tonight and got rid of my tax return and latest paycheque. If I can keep this up, I'll be doing well. :)


I'm just all over the place. :)

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Okay, sent out all the schedule emails for now. Mucho fun. I go to bed, my legs and feet hurt, and I promise, more of an update later. :P