I need to cut back on the muffins in the mornings (too much sugar?):

Shawn: And for a second there I thought you were trying to TELL me something about my OWN love life - or lack thereof! =D
Jen: Oh, the comic I sent? :)
Shawn: [Auto Response] I'm away right now.
Shawn: Yup!
Shawn: It was amusing.
Shawn: Much like so many LiveJournals.
Jen: Did you laugh? Oh hohohoh and so on?
Jen: I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT
Shawn: Yes, I laughed like Jabba the Hutt.
Shawn: WITH WHOM?!
Jen: the PROFESSOR... of goodness
Jen: Here is a sort of picture of him...
Jen: I am a Google stalker!!!!
Shawn: God bless Google.
Shawn: Wow, he's like a fucking CELEBRITY.
Jen: *laugh*
Shawn: He looks like Val Kilmer, mixed with a Backstreet Boy. Or something.
Jen: Val Kilmer is hot... and yeah, in that pic he kinda does.
Jen: But keep your backstreet boys outta my date!
Shawn: I can picture him signing autographs, is all. =)
Shawn: I can't!
Jen: *laugh*
Shawn: They penetrate every single aspect of my life.
Shawn: And I mean EVERY.
Jen: And EVERY orifice of your life?!!?!?
Jen: (From a message to someone else, 'cause I am a whore and love more people than you!: when I told the prof that I box and can beat him up, he said good. Boys are WEIRD)
Shawn: Guys are turned on by women that intimidate them.
Shawn: It's just one of those things.
Jen: Yeah, E found it a huge turnon when I teased him and whatnot. Odd, but easy to accomodate. :)
Shawn: Take THAT, prescribed gender roles!
Jen: *laugh*
Jen: Dear Shawn, I love you, love Jen.
Shawn: Yay!
Shawn: I need love today.
Shawn: I hate everything, after all.
Jen: *smears love all over you*
Shawn: I SAW THAT IN A MOVIE ONCE!
Jen: Well, you *did* work at a porn store...Shawn: A co-worker was complaining about having to use tap water for our kettle.
Shawn: And I was like, "Well, you ARE boiling it..."
Shawn: And she said, "Yeah, that's true. Once you boil it, it - it's boiled. I don't know. What do you think?"
Shawn: It was such a George W. Bush-esque line.
Jen: And then you smeared love all over them?
Oh. Your coworker is stupid.
Shawn: If by "love," you mean 'contempt for her parents for giving BIRTH to her.'
Jen: *laugh* And how easily does that spread?