The animals, they are out to get me.

There's an intact tom who's been hanging around my neighbourhood the last few weeks, begging for some ladies to come out that he can seduce. Thena's told him a few dirty words, but that doesn't seem to have discouraged him too much at this point. On Sunday, when I was about to leave the house, he was right at my front door and trying to get in. Then, when I went to the garage to get my bike, he followed me there, nuzzling me, and followed me into the garage before he wandered off and explored a little. I didn't want him to get stuck down there or get hurt, so I called him over and convinced him to leave. Maybe he realized there weren't any ladies to seduce in the garage.

On my way to my friend's place, I kept getting stuck behind Sunday driver slowpokes, so I decided to head to the next street I needed a few blocks sooner, which is a route that takes me by my work. As I was slowing down to make the right turn onto the street that goes directly in front of my building, I noticed there was a dead mallard drake right on the curb -- it looked as though someone hit him while he was crossing the street, or getting ready to cross. I've seen a mallard mated pair across the street in the big field, and we're quiet near some locks that are a popular attraction, so it's quite possible he's the one I've seen on previous occasions. He's even acted as the greeter at the building across the street. He was still there this morning, and I found it very upsetting.

At times in my life, I've had to take antibiotics for various conditions; we all have, it happens.

Many antibiotics have warnings on them about what you should or shouldn't do when you're on them, or advice about how you should or shouldn't take them. Things like, take with a glass of water, or with a full meal -- advice like that makes sense. Some antibiotics require more water to be absorbed, or might be hard on the stomach if taken on an empty one.

The antibiotics I had to take more recently had three warnings on them: one, take with lots of water. Two, avoid dairy and iron supplements for an hour before and an hour afterwards -- again, understandable because it's possible that the drugs bind with calcium or iron and aren't absorbed by the body as they should be.

My most favourite of the warnings, however, is one that I've encountered several times with drugs, and that's avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight.

Now, while it's most likely due to something simple like increased likelihood of sunburn or something equivalent if you're exposed to too much sun while on the drugs, I choose to believe that I will be subject to a new and yet unheard-of side effect. The one I've chosen is invisibility; essentially, if I'm exposed to too much sun, I will become invisible.

I think this is a valid notion, and I look forward to my new superpower -- provided I don't negate it through doing something like eating yogurt a half-hour after taking the drugs, and thereby ruining any chance I had of being invisible.

So, if you don't see me -- you'll know why.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

My family thinks I’m insane, but I don’t care.

Short version: Digger, the male family cat that lives with my parents (and is brother to the disappeared Chloë), got blocked up yesterday. For those not in the know, this means that he got crystals in his urine that blocked his urethra and made it so that he couldn’t pee.

Having worked at an animal hospital, I’m all too aware of just how serious this condition can be, and how quickly it can progress – and neutered male cats are the most prone to it.

Luckily it was caught early, and he should be okay, but I still went racing out to the house last night to see him… and that’s why my parents think I’m insane, and I still don’t care.

In other news, my life progresses. The PA and I are back to friends-only status, which is going to be an interesting challenge to maintain. Curse me for being the way that I am, basically. I’d go into more detail, but… I wouldn’t know what to say or how to say it; again, curse me for being the way that I am, meaning I want to protect feelings and so on. The short version of that one is that I’ve started seeing someone and that’s about all I’ll say about that.

I’ve been socializing a fair bit lately with various groups of friends, and that’s been nice. I saw some of the zone crew last weekend, and had a nice chat and semi-cuddle with a couple people in that group. R threatened to bite me, but never carried through on his threat, meaning I win. Of course, that’s until he reads this and gets revenge on me at a later date; as I’ve learned through personal experience, bites can leave lasting consequences. :P

I’ve been back to the gym a few times in the last few weeks, minus the trip to New Brunswick. I’m coming out with sore muscles, but fewer than that first visit, which is good. I still remember the strength I used to have, and it frustrates me to have lost it, but I know it’ll return eventually. I’ve also started up a new exercise regimen with a friend, and although I doubt I’ll be managing half as well as he does, I’m still intending to get through it.

I’m also trying to figure out how to work skating or swimming into my regimen, and possibly even some biking if I can. Apparently I don’t want to leave any time leftover for school or anything like that, but I’m okay with that. :P

I’m planning on getting my bike out on the road tonight, provided the battery is okay. I’m tired of this ridiculous back-and-forth weather, and I just want to go for a ride.

Finally, I’ve been working – for the one millionth time – on eating better in general. I was doing okay before I went away, then got stuck eating a bunch of junk and sandwiches. Once I got back, I got to buy some more groceries, and I’ve been trying to focus on eating my fruits and veggies, ‘cause my body likes me best when that’s what I’m consuming.

Ah, it’s rough being so dull – or at least having much I’m thinking or feeling that I can’t put into words for various reasons, not the least of which is writer’s block. How have all of you been?

Amy Winehouse, You Know I'm No Good:

Meet you downstairs in the bar and hurt,
Your rolled up sleeves in your skull t-shirt,
You say "Why did you do it with him today?"
And sniffed me out like I was Tanqueray,
'Cause you're my fella, my guy
Hand me your Stella and fly,
By the time I'm out the door,
You tear men down like Roger Moore

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would
I told you, I was trouble
You know that I'm no good

Upstairs in bed with my ex-boy,
he's in a place but I can't give joy
Thinking on you in the final throes,
This is when my buzzer goes
Run out to meet you, chips and pitta,
You say "when we married,"
Cause you're not bitter,
"there'll be none of him no more"
I cried for you on the kitchen floor

[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would
I told you, I was trouble
You know that I'm no good

Sweet reunion Jamaica and Spain,
We're like how we were again,
I'm in the tub, you on the seat,
Lick your lips as a I soak my feet
Then you notice little carpet burns,
My stomach drops and my guts churn,
You shrug and it's the worst,
To truly stuck the knife in first

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would
I told you, I was trouble
You know that I'm no good

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would
I told you, I was trouble
Yeah you know that I'm no good

I miss you.

Sometimes I post here.

Why no, I'm not bored at all. Or avoiding anything.

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
ONE.
Word.

(Not as easy as you might think.)

1. Where is your cell phone? Table
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend? Imaginary
3. Your hair? Red
4. Your mother? Strong
5. Your father? Knowledgeable
6. Your favorite item? Paws
7. Your dream last night? Vivid
8. Your favorite drink? Diet
9. Your dream car? Hatchback
10. The room you are in? Livingroom
11. Your ex? Around
12. Your fear? Alone
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Secure
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Stefan, PompousAss
15. What you're not? Skinny
19. The last thing you did? Drink
20. What are you wearing? Clothes
22. Your favorite book? Many
23. The last thing you ate? Ice cream
24. Your life? Frustrating
25. Your mood? Unquantifiable
26. Your friends? Incredible
27. What are you thinking about right now? Food
28. Your car? Motorcycle
29. What are you doing at the moment? Procrastinating
30. Your summer? Pending
31. Your relationship status? Complicated
32. What is on your tv? Nothing
33. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
34. Last time you cried? Saturday
35. School? Stressful

Nanny and Puppy's cat, Penguin. His brother Snoopy, who looked exactly like him, died quite young (hit by a car across from my uncle's place), and his other brother Licorice, who was solid black and shorthaired, had a heart attack on my Nanny's bed a few years ago, poor man.

A store in the MacAlister Place mall, where I shop when I visit my Nanny and Puppy.

Thena's fuzzy belly. Touch at your own peril.

Venus from her last vet appointment. If she doesn't stop annoying me, I might bring her back. :P

This was one of the sights from our travels. This was parked in front of a hotel at a rest stop. Tell me you don't think it's dirty, too!

So, is anyone on fire near me? I just heard a whole bunch of trucks and sirens going by.

Also, I am back. I've even managed several nights of good sleep in the last while (not including nights before travelling), and I feel semi-refreshed as a result. Which means that tomorrow will be painful when I have to get up to go to work, but... at least it's just before a four-day weekend, which is always nice.

I'll write more later, including some of the funny moments from the trip (self-defense mechanisms, I'm guessing), but the summary right now is that I'm glad that I made it back intact, and my sister is lucky I didn't kill her and throw her body out the car on the ride home. Of course, then my parents started snapping at one another, and having my dad yell at me for the way I came off the highway at the stop closest to my house -- the one I've taken four hundred million times more than him -- was a bit tooth-grindingly annoying, too. I didn't say anything though, and I think my mom gave me a sympathetic look.

I love my family, I just don't want anything to do with them for awhile. I said as much when they dropped me off. That works until Sunday or whenever we're having Easter dinner. I told Stefan I wasn't sure if this was a sign that my family was annoying me, or if it's a symptom of living alone for too long. He said I'm not crusty or crotchety, so we've agreed my sister is the problem. :)

Anyhow, thank you to everyone who offered their sympathies and support. I haven't had a total breakdown yet, so I know that fun is still pending. Mostly what I wanted was distractions and people to talk to, and some of you provided that. Others told me things like, 'Go be with your family right now!' which is all well and good, but... ;) My Nanny's a rock and I think she's going to be okay; my mom sounded pretty beat-up when we were on our way down, but she seems to be holding together, too.

I have to wonder sometimes when someone says, "So-and-so is really taking it hard" -- does that mean that they're suffering more than the others, or just that they're showing it more? Hard to say.

I also appear to have turned into some kind of a girl. Before I left, I bought shoes (which I hate doing) and I bought some purses (which I do on a semi-regular basis, when I tire of the ones I have, or when I want one for a different purpose). I bought a rough felt purse that had penguins on it because it made me smile to look at it; it was priced at $10, and actually rang up for $7. While I was away, I also bought some make up -- and headphones, an Amy Winehouse CD (love it), and the Leisure Suit Larry collection -- which annoyed me because it didn't include LSL7, and it's my own fault for not checking. So I'm a girl, but a geeky one; and one that's unlikely to be using that much of the makeup anytime soon, either.

Anyhow, enough rambling. Time for a shower, emptying of the mailbox, and then schoolwork. I got a nasty email from my prof while I was away, and it's long past time to get serious about my schoolwork, and I'm planning to use today and especially this weekend to do so.

I never know how to make these kinds of announcements so that they don't seem as though I'm trying for peoples' sympathies or something, but my maternal grandfather -- my Puppy -- passed away this morning. My mom's already down there, and my dad, sister and I will be heading there Friday morning.

It's funny how our minds work in times like these; I'm sad, but I don't think it's really going to hit me until I get down there. At the same time, I'm giggling a bit because Venus is being snuggly, while also whining for me to play with her and running into walls at the same time.

Now if only I wasn't possibly coming down with some kind of stupid chest cold, I might ... well, not feel better, but you know.

In the interests of proving that I really am mentally deficient and don't learn, when I took my mom's car to the gym today, I accidentally left it unlocked. I'd put my purse in the backseat for safekeeping because I couldn't remember the combination to the lock I had with me and didn't want to leave it unattended in the gym.

I really am dumb sometimes.

I know have a perfectly acceptable, valid reason not to trust my coworkers: my credit cards were stolen from my wallet today.

I'm lucky in that I don't use my credit cards often, one of them only twice. The other had a Chapters online thing go through today, so I could've pinpointed that as my last transaction (they also used it at Chapters, sneaky bastards).

I'm also very grateful for 24/7 fraud departments with both Royal VISA and PCF M/C. That meant I didn't have to try to sleep on this, but I do still need to file the police report for the Royal. That'll be a new experience.

I know that it happened at work, since that's the only time my purse is out of my sight, and the first transaction went through this afternoon at 1:46 p.m. Someone really liked spending money at Jean Coutu and Shoppers (both drug stores); they also hit up a bunch of gas stations and one transaction at Chapters.

They also moved my ID out of its holder, but didn't take it. I'm guessing they figured they either couldn't pass for me, or didn't want to apply for new cards in my name or something. I can't explain criminal minds; I'm just glad they weren't especially clever, and that the fraud departments worked as well as they did. At least, I'm saying that now -- we'll see what the next few steps bring.

And finally, one complaint I thought up later -- I bet the bastard who stole my cards misspelled my last name when they signed the slips, too.

I think I'm vaguely annoyed by facebook, and I know I'm severely annoyed by my neighbours, and that's contrasted by my ever-lasting amusement at my cats, and my caring for my friends, so my head is twisted in circles.

I spent way too much money at Sugar Mountain today, and I have a great deal of things I keep thinking I should write about on here and yet don't. This week's highlights:

-> Calling bylaw at 1:00 a.m. Tuesday night to report my neighbours for loud music. I put in earplugs; I could still hear it. I passed out anyhow, probably before the cops came, but I wasn't impressed.

-> Being woken up at 6:20 this morning by some asshole outside of my bedroom window (which happens to be beside the driveway into our underground garage) blaring hardcore rap music so loud I swear to God I was amazed his windows were still intact. As I said to the Pompous Ass earlier when I related this story (which I'm sharing with everyone), I could've murdered everyone in my building, even if they weren't involved in the least.

This was also at the same time that my alarm clock went off, which, added to my natural state of abject stupidity when I first wake up, meant that I did a bunch of confused running around in my bedroom, trying to turn off the obnoxious beeping and simultaneously kill the person outside of my window through sheer force of will, death glare and innate cuteness.

Unfortunately for me, I couldn't see a car outside of my window by the time I figured out how curtains work (tip: they move aside with ease when one uses one's hand), they'd disappeared. Fortunately for them, my window is also sealed shut, which spared me having to figure out how to launch a cat or other heavy projectile at them to properly express my displeasure with their choice of music and time of day and location and proximity to my delicate genius self.

That's what my coworker and I call ourselves constantly; delicate geniuses. Oh, how we mock...

Anyhow, then we have my cats. I will tell people that I believe my cats to be smart. Then my cats do things to try to prove me wrong. Venus opened my pyjama drawer and curled up in it for awhile; this may make her smart if she figured out how to open the drawer on her own, but I'm not sure.

Thena, the one who I usually assume is smart, was being particularly stupid the other night. I had put her out on her harness and leash, which is currently attached to the doorknob (on the inside, of course). I had the door partially open so that Venus, who won't stay out if the door is shut (don't get me started) could also enjoy the nice weather. Thena comes and goes, getting herself woven in the legs of the kitchen table and chairs (which are right by the back door). I don't notice -- she puts her paws up on my knee to get my attention, and I untangle her and boot her out. Smart kitty, one point.

She comes back in and gets herself tangled around a chair again. I sigh and decide to move the chair into my kitchen more (I have a galley kitchen and an eating space; the table is in the latter), and stupid kitty tries to move under the chair to get herself tangled in it again. Negative points for kitty.

Mind you, I was lying on my bed on my stomach last night, using my laptop, and Venus curled up beside me and slept, which was very cute. Thena typically occupies the smallest corner of the bed when the covers are down, I think trying to send me a message about what a horrible person I am for not having the covers straightened out so that she could have more choice in where to sprawl. I don't think she likes lying on them when they're bunched up, because when they're not, she'll lie more in the middle of the bed. I am obviously a terrible person.

I've been having conversations with friends and family lately about house buying, and everyone seems to say the same things about it -- it's good to get into the market, it doesn't have to be a huge or expensive place, you can always rent out a room to someone to help pay the rent, etc. It's scary to think about, because it's such a grown-up step, and at the same time, it's something I do really want to do. I miss having stairs, I miss having a real kitchen, I want to have a more minimalist decor style (which would probably never happen, but seems more possible if I have more space to put everything), I want to have a backyard for friends to hang out in or the kitties to play in... it's just hard to feel ready to take on the expense, especially when I already have debts I want to see reduced.

I'm sure I'll remember the other thousand things I wanted to write about at a later time, but this is my update to hopefully tide over the masses (i.e., the Pompous Ass who wanted me to update). Venus sends her very best belly massage, and has now laid down on my arm, further inhibiting typing. Please send help...!

I seem to have developed a bit of a reputation amongst my various acquaintances as a 'blogger.'

See, sometimes things happen in my life and I write about them on here -- some of you may have noticed this.

Well, lately in a very short period of time, I've had two different people in two completely different situations say to me, "You're going to blog about this, aren't you?"

The first had to do with my observation that I'd never before noticed just how much of a mating dance modern dancing is. I was out at a club recently, and everywhere I looked were little hoochie things grinding into thug things. Maybe I'm getting old and I haven't been out nearly often enough, but I was a bit surprised. Though mostly I laughed.

The second thing had to do with an ex's observations on my nipples. I've said it before, my nipples are fairly responsive. I usually say something like, 'It gets cold out, my nipples get hard, I sneeze, my nipples get hard, I go to the bathroom, my nipples get hard.' I can also add, 'They get talked about by someone other than me, my nipples get hard,' 'cause that's what was happening during this conversation. In sum, depending on what's being done to my body at the time, my nipples get hard in different ways. I'd say that I'd check this out for myself the next time something interesting is going on, but I suspect I'd be way too distracted to pay attention or even particularly care.

So, to satisfy you, there, I've blogged about it.

I had a pretty good weekend, though it started out with me deciding that I'm going to have to move. It's gotten to the point where everyone I meet either reminds me of a friend of mine, an ex-boyfriend, is tied to me already somehow, or is someone I've dated (which goes along well with the preceding comment). At least most of my partings have been on good terms, aside from perhaps the Smooshy or the paramedic, so it's not as though I have to worry about hiding from anyone. And realistically, I wouldn't hide from either of them -- about the only person I'd hide from is UBFM. And that's with damn good reason. Although speaking truthfully, I'd just show him indifference, because that's about all I have left for him.

There are a few things running around in my head right now that I want to discuss, but don't know how. So instead I'll segue awkwardly to another story.

I'm friends with a couple; I've known the boy since high school, and I've met the girl through him and one or two other people. I was out with the girl recently, and she was talking to me about some issues that the couple was having. It's not the first time she's asked me things, and she recently referred to me as her sex therapist, and that I'm cheaper than a regular therapist, which I find sweet and funny.

Anyhow, when I was out at the bar on Saturday, the boy of the couple asked me if she'd spoken to me, and if I hated him or words to that effect. I told him that of course I don't, that I sort of wanted to talk to him about his side but I wasn't sure how he'd feel about it, and a few other things, and then he told me that he was really glad she'd chosen me to speak to about this.

All of this to say, sometimes it's the little admissions or compliments that people make, almost off-handedly, that really mean something. I told a coworker that she had really pretty eyes, and I could tell she was really surprised and pleased. This is a behaviour I need to do more of -- compliments shouldn't be so hard to give, especially when they're genuinely meant.

It's kinda bad and kinda funny when, in an otherwise professional meeting, your coworker (about whom you've heard and have also picked up on a hint or two that said coworker may have kinky leanings) mentions tormenting clients with rubber hoses and something else, including a desk drawer.

My immediate response? "Sounds like a fun Friday evening."

What did I actually do? Start laughing.

Upon noticing my reaction, said coworker simply says, "Don't go there."

I told said coworker after the meeting what I was thinking, and said coworker responded something akin to, "I know, which is why I told you 'Don't go there.'"

I think my reactions on the two occasions I can think of that this has come up may have outed me somewhat. Either that or my usual defense of, "I have friends who are kinky" may be yet protecting me. I don't think said coworker is fooled, though.