I may be losing my mind, but at least I have the comfort of knowing I'll have food and entertainment: I was just getting some pizza out of the fridge for a quick bite before I take off, and I discovered my cable box remote on the kitchen counter. I have no memory of bringing it in there, and I have no idea why I did. As I said, at least I'll have food and entertainment when I go.


I just riffed off some stuff that the FB, the ex- wrote in an email to me about relationships and dating, and I think it actually turned out fairly well. It includes a few details relevant to the dating history he and I had, but isn't particularly revealing or personal, so I'm leaving them in. It was also written government email account to government email account, so there's a lack of my usual tongue-in-cheek sauciness. ;) So, in a few rambling paragraphs, here is the nutshell version of my thoughts on relationships and dating:

I'm not sure it matters how people in general define relationships; it's how you and the person you're seeing define what you have going on. There are so many different grey areas in dating, which I know you hate, but it's a fact of life. What matters is the understanding that you two have, and where the boundaries for each of you are drawn; if that involves other people, so be it. If it doesn't, well, that has to be spelled out and acknowledged at some point. However, as I said to you when we were dating, though I understood where you were coming from with not wanting to kiss me if you knew I might be kissing someone else, it's also extremely unrealistic to have that sort of expectation so early on in a dating relationship. Unless it's otherwise stated, or until the lines are drawn, if I'm just dating someone, I assume they're seeing other people and I feel at liberty to do the same. It doesn't have to be talked about, and in fact can make for uncomfortable conversation if it does come up, but unless the physical or emotional progression dictates boundary-drawing time, it's all free.

As for whether one person can fill all the expectations... it's a priority system of sorts. You said before what your priorities/requirements were, though I don't entirely remember them all, barring the caucasian point and possibly wanting children, and if those are important to you, then they stay on the list. But you negotiate with yourself as you date and meet new people; once upon a time, I might've preferred to date someone who made more money than me (back in the days when I made under the poverty line) or whatever; now I don't care, provided he's working someone stable, sustainable and enjoys what he's doing, and it's above minimum wage. But that also factors into me liking guys who are intelligent and have at least a partial drive; few of those are still working McJobs at my age.

Ultimately, if you're not satisfied with the person you're dating, that's going to reflect in your interactions with them, and will cause problems. If someone is lacking in something that's important to you, then you have to either address it or move on. If you're able to compromise or can recognize that the fact that they're blonde instead of brunette (for example) really isn't that big of a deal, then... *shrug* You stand a chance.


Well, I'm sure you've noticed I haven't exactly been updating a lot lately. I can't really explain why... there's been a lot of things I've wanted to write about, but somehow when I have the time I don't have the inclination -- or I seem to get ... not paralyzed, but I'm just not as apt as I usually am to sit down and write.

There've been a number of things I've been slacking at, not limited to cleaning, schoolwork, dealing with the little errands that have to be dealt with (note to self: buy toilet paper), but I don't have a really good excuse for it.

I haven't even been running a lot lately, partly because a few weeks ago I tripped and fell leaving my apartment, and managed to injure my foot and bruise my tailbone. Oh yes, I am the picture of grace and gentility. The saddest part? It hurts my bum when I sneeze. Not that I'm pathetic or anything.

Digger seems to be returning to himself; I haven't heard anything in awhile one way or another from the folks. The vet did put him on some anti-inflammatories again, after the antibiotics and first round of anti-inflammatories ended, but he seemed back to himself even before that. Poor tortured man...

I saw Carl's request for the 8 things about me bit, and part of my difficulty in posting the last while has been trying to come up with 8 things to say that you guys don't already know. I did realize I could use parts of another post I was going to make, so I think I can fulfill the request:

1. Whenever I pass roadkill, I have to try to identify what animal it is/was. I don't know why.
2. I find men's wristwatches -- the big, heavy ones with the silver wristbands -- to be really sexy to see on a man's wrist. Granted, it helps if the guy has nice wrists to start (and no, I couldn't identify what constitutes a 'nice wrist' -- though it helps if the guy isn't paler than me).
3. I find ankle bracelets really sexy, and I love wearing them, but feel that there isn't much point with my tattoo.
4. I don't care much about diamonds, and don't do flashy jewelry.
5. I have a 4ft tall teddy bear named Paws that my aunt (my dad's sister) made me for my first Christmas. I slept on him until I was about 15-16, and still do sometimes when I'm having a really bad night or simply can't sleep.
6. As a corollary to that one, I also used to believe that if I was crying about something (loss of a pet, loss of a boyfriend, hurt by a friend, etc.), everything would be okay if all of my tears landed on Paws.
7. I consider one of my more embarrassing moments to be the time I was drunk and peed in a park.
8. Regardless of how readily I remember someone or some fact about them, I'm always surprised when someone remembers me or details about me.

I'll challenge those of you who are still checking this site to reply in kind. :)

I've also noticed an annoying trend as I drive around town -- very few people seem inclined to use their turn signals when they're doing maneuvers. This makes me very annoyed, and friends/ex-boyfriends can attest to the fact that I've nagged people about this in the past. I've also been mocked for signalling turns in parking lots at 2 in the morning, but I don't care -- I figure if you start slacking about when you signal your turns 'when it doesn't matter', then you're likely to slack on signalling turns when it does.

I have some thoughts on friendships and difficult friends that I want to share at some point, but I have to get off my lazy butt and go out for exercise. I've set a goal that's theoretically realistic, but since I am a lazy lazy mess, it becomes less so.

I also need to go shopping for a dress in the next while... anyone interested in accompanying me? :) The boy would probably be willing, but I've told him I'm interested in surprising him.

Yes, there is a boy -- another reason for my lack of computer time the last while. Been dating for some time, it's going well... he's a good guy. We have a similar sense of humour, we have a decent number of interests in common, and we complement one another, I think. He's much more quiet than I am; I know, I know, big surprise. I hear that a lot. :P Anyhow, in some ways I'm more energetic than he is, and in other ways, he's much more energetic than I -- he's athletic and has been for most of his life. But he also acts on things, which I like. We discuss potential ideas for plans, like ballroom dancing lessons, and then they happen. I like this about him, and it presents a big difference from some past relationships I've had. That's not to say that we don't have our lazy, sluggish days, but we have active ones, too.

I had coffee with FB, the ex-boyfriend a little while ago. It went fairly well; I left feeling decent about the event, instead of the frustrated feeling I'd had going in. He'd made a comment in an email exchange about how he'd like to be able to hang out with me without having to lie to people -- it turns out that he's started seeing someone new, and didn't want to or couldn't tell her about me; he said that he'd had issues with me hanging out with some of my exes, or having them in my life, especially since he's the type to cut bait once a relationship is over. The AB factored into one particular 'memorable' occasion that helped feed into why I ended things. I made fun of him a bit for that, and told him not to assume everyone's like him.

Personally, I think it's a bit better to be honest with your SO about things like that -- otherwise, it makes it look worse than it is. I remember the Smooshy used to have lunch periodically with his ex-gf, and I always knew when he'd done it, because he'd tell me he'd been out for lunch, but wouldn't say who with until I pressed him. I was never upset about it, but I did tell him several times that his hiding it made it seem as though there was something to be upset about. That and the fact that he had a pair of her underwear (that she'd left behind and he'd washed for her, but kept 'forgetting' to return to her -- yet somehow this underwear was at my place and stayed there the entire time he was 'living with me' (in quotes because of the lack of financial support he provided)) made me have some suspicions, but I figured he was too much of a Smoosh to cheat on me, so I was never actually that concerned.

Ah well... this has rambled on even more than when I originally posted it, and I do want to get out for a bit, so I'll leave off here. Rest assured, there will be more than enough details about the boy in future posts. ;)



I promise, there will be a real update later today. In the meantime, enjoy the lyric post.

I don't really have a reason why this song amuses me so, but it might just be because of the call-and-answer aspect (no pun intended), which I often like in music.

The Telephone Hour, from Bye Bye Birdie:

Hi, Nancy!
-Hi, Helen!
What's the story, morning glory?
What's tale, nightingale?
-Tell me quick about Hugo and Kim!
-Hi, Margie!
-Hi, Alice!
What's the story, morning glory?
-What's the word, humming bird?
-Have you heard about Hugo and Kim?
Did they really get pinned?
Did she kiss him and cry?
Did he pin the pin on?
Or was he too shy?
Well, I heard they got pinned
-Yeah! Yeah!
I was hopin' they would!
- Oho!
Now they're livin' at last,
Goin' steady for good!
-Hello, Mister Henkel, this is Harvey Johnson,
Can I speak to Penelope Ann?
-Is it true about Kim?
-I just knew it somehow
-About the ball...
-I must call her right up!
-I can't talk to you now!
Goin' steady,
You know it
Goin' steady,
Man, it's crazy, man!
Goin' steady,
You know it,
-It won't last!
-Not at all!
-He's too thin!
-She's too tall!
-Hello, Missus Miller, this is Harvey Johnson,
Can I speak to Debra Sue?

-Hi, you Hugo!
Hi, you stupid!
Why do wanna go get pinned up?
-Well, I heard they got pinned
-I was hopin' they would
-Lost your moral
-Now they're livin' at last
-Are you nutty
-Goin' steady ...
-Hello, Mrs Garfein, is Charity home from school yet?
-Did they really get pinned? Goin' steady?
-We was hopin' they would
-Now they're livin' at last
-Goin' steady for good!
If you gotta go, that's the way to go,
When they got you hooked,
Then you're really cooked,
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do?
Well, I heard they got pinned!
I was thinking they would!
Now they're livin' at last
They are steady for good
Goin' steady, goin' steady,
Goin' steady,
Steady for good
Goin' steady, goin' steady,
Goin' steady,
Steady for good
He's in love with Kim,
Kim's in love with him!
Goin' steady, goin' steady,
Goin' steady!
Well, well, oh oh oh
Well, well, oh oh oh
That's the way it should be!
They'll be happy, I know!
Going Steady for me.
That's the way it should go!
Goin' steady, goin' steady,
Goin' steady,
Steady for good
Goin' steady,
Goin' steady,
Oh yeah!!!

And as a bonus, "My interpretation," by Mika. No, this is not a message to anyone, I just think it sums up some post-breakup times rather nicely:

You talk about life, you talk about death,
And everything in between,
Like it's nothing, and the words are easy.
You talk about me, and you talk about you,
And everything I do,
Like it's something, that needs repeating.
I don't need an alibi or for you to realize,
The things we left unsaid,
Are only taking space up in our head.
Make it my fault, win the game
Point the finger, place the blame
It does me up and down,
It doesn't matter now.

'Cause I don't care if I ever talk to you again.
This is not about emotion,
I don't need a reason not to care what you say,
Or what happened in the end.
This is my interpretation,
And it don't, don't make sense.

The first two weeks turn into ten,
I hold my breath and wonder when it'll happen,
Does it really matter?
If half of what you said is true,
And half of what I didn't do could be different,
Would it make it better?
If we forget the things we know.
Would we have somewhere to go?
The only way is down, I can see that now.


It's really not such a sacrifice


And it don't have to make no sense to you at all,
'Cause this is my interpretation, yeah, yeah, yeah.