Okay, so I don't necessarily agree with all of this, but it made my coworkers and I laugh:


- - - -

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you fucking kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness actual smiling, laughinghappiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlza and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.


Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
It's no fun swearing at journalists when none of your coworkers are around to hear you do it.

This Is My Life, Rated
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Sometimes I really like when I have a, "Wow, that's how it is!" moment, and I feel all insightful.

Other times I hate when it happens, because I feel so utterly stupid and wonder how I could have possibly missed that when it was so blindingly obvious.

Most of my life is filled with the latter. I really can be clueless sometimes.


I was doing some vanity hunting just now, trying to see who might be linking to the Whore's Boudoir lately. Tragically, my site is on a few peoples "dead sites" or "not updating" lists, but hopefully that'll change.

As well, I found a site where people can rank and make comments; the only comment I had was a 2/5 stars, and the remark, "she's boring." Ah well...

At the same time, I've been more active on Fark.com lately, to the point where I've even signed up for a TotalFark membership, and I've twice gotten comments about my blog from other people in various comment threads, both positive. It's the best kind of blog-whoring; the kind where I don't have to do any of the work myself. ;)

I'm wondering if it might be worth evolving it a little to include some stories from my sex life; I do have a 'worst sex story ever' article I mean to post at some point, and it might be fun to share some of the highlights, too. After all, I post them here at times, but I'm sure not everyone is eager to read about my masturbation habits, much as I might enjoy sharing them. The thing is, it's not even an exhibitionist thrill for me, sharing things like that; rather, I just think some of these things are hilarious and want to talk about them and ideally, make others laugh as well.

Case in point; over the summer, some friends and I had a game whereby we would text message each other every time one of us got laid and/or got off (I can separate the two; not all of my experiences combine them, more's the pity) -- I'm sure I told you about it at the time. I was also going through one of my crazy horny periods, what I now think of as 'business as usual,' and so I was texting people semi-regularly. Maybe too regularly, given that one of my friends said to another that I masturbated an awful lot.

Well, not all of it was masturbating, and even still -- I found it hilarious, not insulting. Go me!

In fact, that sounds like a great idea. Pardon me, won't you? ;)


New post up at Whore's Boudoir. Not sure it's any good, but... I tried.

Ever have a day where it just doesn't seem worth it to put on pants? Yeah, that's been my day. Writing was a challenge, yet it's something I wanted to do all day, but only barely managed around 11 p.m. :P

I saw Ghost Rider the other night with the Pompous one. Shut up, I went in expecting it to be not-great, and I enjoyed myself. It was motorcycle porn, and it made me miss my bike again, something I've been complaining about regularly this winter.

I went out for a skate on Wednesday, and I was back out on the ice briefly with the Newf on Saturday. I managed to skate one length on Wednesday, but didn't want to chance too much more (i.e., returning back the way I came) because my back was sore. Saturday we did a fraction of the distance, due to crowds and lack of time. I caught my skate in a really deep groove at one point and went down on one knee, which was frustrating. After that, I felt pretty wobbly, but still had to get back to the start.

Saturday night I joined Stefan, Kristin, Jordan, Ryan and a few others for a drink to celebrate Kristin's new employment. Lucky us, the bar does metal nights on Saturdays. And they do very loud metal nights, too. I did amuse everyone towards the end by trying to do the running man dance -- much easier in bowling shoes in a bowling alley than it is in winter boots on carpet, for the record.

I'm currently lying on my stomach on my bed typing this, and Venus is stretched out on my back and butt, with her paws stretched along my leg. My cats are varying degrees of retarded, but I love them. I actually got a few pictures of Thena lying on top of Venus earlier this evening; I don't know how well they'll come out because it was in the dark and on my cell phone, but I tried.

There's more I could say here, but it just has to do with my hormones, so I'll leave it be for now. In the meantime, a shout out to the Pompous Ass; happy birthday, sweetie m'lord. Here's hoping you can make some time for me so I can celebrate it with you. :)


It's Friday, so everyone other than me needs to think:

Create your own Friend Test here


There are so many things making me mental right now, in all aspects of my life, I don't even know where to start.


My cats are strange, post #97:

Thena, my older and crabbier cat, enjoys cat food and cat treats. She also likes people food, but as a rule doesn't get it because I'm trying to keep my cats from being any more spoiled than they are. It's also healthier for them, and so on.

However, I did learn when she was a kitten that she does occasionally like microwave popcorn, especially Smart Food. So once in awhile, I'll give her some of that, or a tiny bit of cheese or something. As a rule, she demands and receives wet cat food, and she's happy with that.

Venus, my little wimpy cat, has or had a very sensitive stomach. Even my slow and cautious attempts to change her food to something potentially higher-quality resulted in gastric distress (most often on my bed, as my cats love me so), so she's stayed on cat food and nothing but. Except that she too loved microwave popcorn, and a few kernels at a time didn't seem to pose any problems, so she'd sometimes get that. She prefers it with cheese powder, though; she's a gastronome.

Because of Venus' bouts of stomach failure, she's had many times when she's been on broiled chicken to help settle things down before she got re-introduced to her food ("Venus, meet your dinner. Dinner, this is Venus."). As a result, every time I'm cutting food on the counter, she thinks it's chicken, and will stand by my side and try to tap her paws on the counter or on my hip to be offered a sample. I'm a loser and will usually show her what it is I'm cutting: "See Venus? It's an apple. You don't like apples." and she goes on her merry way.

However, every now and then she's expressed an interest in something I was making beyond just a sniff-and-dismiss. For example, my cats often go insane for celery; they like to play with the little stalks and usually wind up eating them. This is insanity shared between them, and I have no problem indulging it now and again.

But my cats, like me, aren't always about the healthy eating. Venus has shown a distinct preference for crackers, cheese, tortilla chips, and most recently, rice cakes.

Yes, rice cakes; those cardboard circles whose existence is only enlivened by the addition of peanut butter, or some other flavoured glaze or powder.

Now, maybe she just has a thing for cheese powder, because the ones I was eating were seasoned with white cheddar powder, but whatever it was, she was gobbling up the pieces of rice cake the minute I set them before her nose.

My cats are weird, and I love the mental little buggers.
I'm Pope Stephen! Hurrah.
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me lately, which is a statement that will cover an awful lot of ground at the moment.

I got ready for bed last night, and my thermostat was set more or less where it always is, the temperature outside wasn't any colder than it's been in some time, and yet I could not for the life of me get warm. My feet were frozen, my body was chilled, my bed wasn't in the best of shape... I wound up putting on two pairs of socks (one gym-weight, one heavy-duty), and a sweatshirt over the flannel pyjamas I was already wearing (I'm sexy in the wintertime, the Smooshy can tell you), and turning up the thermostats in both my bedroom and the living room. When even that didn't work, I grabbed my other comforter from the living room and threw that on the bed -- finally at some point I was able to sleep.

I woke up this morning sans sweatshirt, but I still had both pairs of socks on, and my feet were still marginally chilled. My apartment felt much warmer, but really not that bad. Even work is cold today, and either my liver's still recovering from drinking on Friday and then again last night (though less so), or I may be slowly coming down with something stupid. I feel okay, but there's a lot of crap going around work, so it's probably just a matter of time.

I also haven't been sleeping very well, so I seem to spend a lot of time with tired eyes, squinting at screens and televisions and not studying. *sigh* I'm so frustrated with myself, yet I can't seem to kick my ass out of this habit.

I wish I knew what I wanted.


I was starving around 4 this afternoon because I hadn't eaten since breakfast (causality for the win!), so I decided to make some perogies. I put the water on to boil, then went into the bedroom to find some clothes (seeing as how I'd just come from the shower and all). Now, it's been several days since I've had any nono part fun, so I decided to take advantage of my quiet time and do so.

Is it wrong that I was very amused by the fact that I was able to finish long before the pot of water boiled?

I think it makes up for all of those times when it takes me forever. Maybe.
I feel upset and bothered about something I can't put my fingers on. I don't understand it, but it seems to be targeted to one particular person who, realistically, has done nothing to incur my wrath, and yet...

Andrea and I had fun out Friday night. We had some dinner and a couple of drinks and talked about sex and boys -- big surprise. Then we went to a nearby martini bar that I rather like, and listened to the DJ spin drum and beats music (that I've since been trying to get my hands on), and tried to talk some more. Unfortunately, the music was rather loud, and we'd picked up a fan.

A teacher from the local college happened to find us attractive (hey, it happens, especially when we were all decked out), and was chatting us up. He was seated closest to Andrea, so she was the one that benefited the most from his attention, and they even exchanged contact info at the end of the night. I'd gone to the DJ at one point to ask him who he was spinning, and I got slightly chatted-up by an artist who was asking what I was up to, but that was as far as it went. Well, after I rubbed the furry old-school Atari logo on the tshirt he was wearing under his button-down shirt.

We did some dancing, and Andrea was persuading me to show off some of my stripper moves -- well, one of them. I kept all of my clothes on, relax. :) I'd downed the last of my fourth martini to try to get a bit of a buzz on, and the dumb thing was that none of my booze actually hit me until after we'd left the club. So I got to take a drunken bus ride home -- and then I ended up staying up for an hour afterwards chatting with people online. Fortunately, as I'm a pleasant drunk, no one was offended by what I had to say. :)

I watched a few movies yesterday, as I tried to get rid of my post-booze, post-period headache (yay for my body double-whammying me), including the Benchwarmers, XXX2 and later, Lucky Number Slevin. Before you judge me, they were all free on my Rogers on Demand, which is one reason/time to watch dumb/bad movies. Benchwarmers actually did have a few lines where I laughed out loud, but yes, was otherwise quite stupid. XXX2 was okay for the car chases and the explosions. Lucky Number Slevin was well-done, but in some cases it almost seemed like it was trying to be too slick for itself -- though maybe it's just because I've seen that formula in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, and various other non-Guy Ritchie movies that I can't think of at the moment.

I'm currently watching Batman Begins (I guess I'm on a bit of a Morgan Freeman kick), and while I do enjoy it, I really hate Katie Holmes in it. Actually, I really dislike her, period, and it's only gotten worse since she got brain-washed by Tom Cruise and could no longer say anything that wasn't already approved in triplicate by her Scientologist handlers (ever notice she never says anything other than how wonderful and amazing everything is?). But nuts to her, I really loved and hated Cillian Murphy in the movie. I saw him in Red Eye also, and he's just so damn good at doing creepy psychopath, yet he's really quite gorgeous. I think it's a bit like when I first encountered James Marsters in Buffy -- I hated his character at first and was utterly creeped/freaked out by him, and then I wanted to fuck his brains out.

I'd also love it if my laptop's wireless would stay connected for more than an hour at a time. Rebooting seemed to help yesterday, but... *sigh* Stupid cranky thing.


My friend Andrea is fun.

Watching her pick up/get picked up is entertaining.

Being encouraged to do stripper moves by a random strange guy who's picking up Andrea is fun.

Being finally drunk after the fact? Weird, but fun. :D

To be repeated again soon!


For anyone that hasn't received Valentine for Perfect Strangers, it's my gift to you.

Seriously, watch it all the way through. It's odd and yet hilarious.
From the Cat Macros LJ community, a Valentine's Day message to you.

Also, yes, it broke my template, but I don't really care right now.


Because I promised I'd send out the memo:

Dear World,
Love my ass.
Love, Jen
Ps [Pompous Ass] does
Okay, time for my annual Valentine's Day singles party.

My apartment's a mess, so you'll all have to bear with me, but I'm suggesting people show up around 7:30 for the usual movie/popcorn/ice cream fiesta. Since it's a weeknight, it won't be a late night.

Bring your own booze if you want it, and I'll supply some snacks. If you can RSVP here or by phone so I know approximately how many people to expect, that'd be good.

Sorry about the late notice, it's been a hectic week. :P
In the epic battle between my upstairs/next-door neighbours and I, I believe I scored a point last night.

See, I was up way too late playing video games and having a pissing contest with a friend online. Just as I was getting ready for bed (around 1 a.m. -- like I said, way too late), my neighbours decided to start up their Pink Floyd -- loud enough that I could hear it in my bedroom. Usually I only hear their music in my living room, and although I think it's still quite disrespectful, I leave it be. But last night, I decided fuck 'em and called bylaw.

Now, the fun part about calling bylaw? After midnight, they don't have any officers on the road, and it's the cops that get dispatched. I live in a semi-sketchy part of town, so there are frequently cops around, too. I was really hoping that my neighbours were drunk or stoned or something and might also mouth off to the cops, but I don't think that was the case, though I wasn't trying to listen -- I just wanted the music off.

The dispatch guy I spoke with was entertained by my way of giving my complaint, though; I started by saying I wanted to give a complaint against (address), and he asked me the standard questions, like my contact information and so on. He asked for the nature of the noise (or complaint, memory eludes me right now), and I answered Pink Floyd, which I'm pretty sure got a laugh out of him. Then I said it was very very loud, which was how they seemed to prefer playing it and we finished up the call.

So, if we count the week's total of sleep so far, we're looking at:

Monday night, up too late and up early.
Tuesday night in Toronto, up late, up early. Some sleep on the train, though.
Wednesday night, up late and up early.
Thursday, a nap in the afternoon, up until very late, up early.
Friday night, up late, dreamed about coding (argh!), up early.
Saturday night, in bed early, slept poorly, up early-ish.
Sunday night, up late, up early (back to work, who wants that?).
Last night, up very late, slept in a bit, slept poorly.

Also, I can officially play the female excuses card for any complaints I have to make; granted, it doesn't generally make me bitchier than usual (which isn't saying much, I know, I know), but it's still a fun card to play on people who buy into the stereotype.

A stereotype which pisses me off greatly, so I'm many kinds of hypocrite for playing that card, and I hate hypocrisy. Isn't it grand being me?

Also, on my last day in Toronto, I picked up a Billy Talent CD and a My Chemical Romance CD. I'm almost ashamed because apparently they constitute emo music, but at the same time, I kinda don't care, I like them.

And finally, last night I bought a used Gamecube. I'm amusing myself by playing a scaredy-cat Italian who humps things and calls for his brother while vacuuming up ghosts after stunning them with his flashlight. When I first heard about Luigi's Mansion, I thought it was the dumbest thing in the world, but oh my, does it make me giggle.

And in case you hadn't noticed, I'm home sick today. At least my neighbours picked a good night to piss me off.


Well, I'm back. I was in Toronto with a coworker for a few days to add to my geek training and learn CSS. I know, I know, CSS is easy, anyone can learn it any way, blah blah blah... Well, I don't always learn from a book in that way. I prefer a combination of instruction and some print material. If there's hands-on work to be done along the way, even better.

This has been a ridiculously long week. Sunday night I spent at my parents' place in preparation for borrowing my dad's car on Monday. Monday we had a work retreat that was being held a half-hour out of town in a location far removed from any bus route known to man, so my dad was kind enough to lend me his. The location was nice, but remote and rather cold; we all spent our time snuggled under jackets and blankets and those who like coffee drank several cups -- that were all lukewarm. But, the team I was on kicked the asses of the other team (including my boss) at pictionary, our 'team-building' exercise. That team had a bunch of sore losers on it, too. :)

That evening I hung out with the Pompous Ass for awhile and packed. The poor guy must be getting tired of me passing out on him and then not wanting to let him leave 'cause I'm comfy or unconscious.

Tuesday was a part day at work, since we were set to leave on the train around lunch... which of course meant that there were emergency postings to be made that meant we got to the train station about 10 minutes before it was actually due to leave. Things started looking up when we discovered we'd been booked into first class (which is actually a government standard when it comes to train travel), and we were going to be fed and everything. Of course, a slight pall was cast over the day when at one of the stops a guy got on and opened the bin above us to see if there was room to put his luggage in -- and my coworker's bag, containing a pair of fairly-solid shoes -- fell down on her head, cutting and bruising her nose, and sending her wine everywhere. Yeah, in first class they bring you free booze. She wasn't too badly hurt overall, but the asshole never apologized, never checked to make sure she was okay -- he just kept trying to find a bin that would accommodate his stuff. He was seated directly behind us, so I think he got to hear us complaining about him for some time after that.

Otherwise, the trip went fairly smoothly. The only real problem is that all the food and booze comes out during the first half of the ride; after that, you only get more beverages (even just water or something) if you ask for it, which we didn't realize, so we were fairly parched -- Toronto was very warm everywhere we were, it seemed.

We were booked into the Marriott, which is attached to the Eaton Centre, which we found very convenient. The pathway connecting the two was closed until 10 a.m., when the Eaton Centre and Sears opened, so we had to go outside for a few minutes to get there. That was the longest we spent outside the entire trip -- oh yeah, I'm not sad in the least.

On the whole, the course was excellent, and the instructor was great. It's a bit tough right now for me to try to apply the learning I've done to the site redesigns I want to make, partly because I have 0 graphic/layout ability, just technical, but I know it'll come. I actually dreamed about coding Friday night, which just goes to show how much of this stuff is currently stuck in my brain. :P

There were a pair of potatoheads in the course that were trying to dominate the instructor's attention and get us off track, but he was good at keeping them in line. All of the learning I did also meant that when I wrote the exam Saturday morning for the HTML course I was taking online, the CSS questions were quite easy, given that all the dealt with was very basic CSS. :)

As for the entertainments I did while I was there, you'll be vastly disappointed -- I'm a dull person. Tuesday we spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find the tower and how to get there through the Eaton Centre, grabbed some not-fabulous dinner at the Mr. Greenjeans, then retired to our rooms to relax and sleep. Wednesday night we did a bit of shopping, got our hair done, and had dinner. Thursday I stayed in the office to mooch their internet access for a bit, and after a nap and some reading did a bit of shopping. Friday we wrote the optional exam, then headed to the train station for our return home. I didn't get in touch with Ben, I didn't contact my godfather, nothing -- mainly because I was just wiped most of the time. :P

I'm glad I went. Now if I could only get all the learning to translate the way I want it to, I'll be a happy girl. :)

I've been having weird situations with a guy that I thought I was befriending, and after one last-ditch attempt to find out what the hell's going on, I'm giving up on it. I don't know what's up with a few of the guys I know, and I just can't be bothered to spend the energy to find out. If someone wants to be my friend or whatever, then that's great, and I will certainly make time for them within reason. But if they don't return the favour, then nuts to them. If I could get some energy up, I'd explain this better or rant about it more effectively, but ... right now, it's just an annoyance instead of something really upsetting or whatever.

I've also made a profile on facebook, and I've come to the conclusion that there may be some people on there who are spending way too much time there. I'm not yet certain, but it seems almost that way. It may also be like orkut, where people are just adding people so they'll have more friends in their group, it's hard to say yet.

I think I'm going to go kill a few brain cells by playing some video games for a bit. Then maybe I'll get some studying in. *sigh*


I'm sitting here trying to think of exciting things to write about, and coming up completely blank. I went to bed around 4:30 last night, after watching the Covenant. It wasn't a great movie, but it was entertaining -- it just doesn't help when your movie is filmed in the dark and your two lead characters kind of resemble one another.

The spiders have risen up against me; they've taken to surprising me by appearing in unexpected areas. Last night, I freaked out over one that was running across some things I was moving around on my desk; this afternoon, it was the one that was hiding in the folds of the tablecloth I had covering the puzzle I was working on. Yes, I do the full hand-shaking, foot-stomping, jumping up and down, making grossed-out noises freakout.

I don't have much to say, and I have to be up at 6:30 tomorrow if I want to have a shower first. I'm staying at my parents' place tonight so I can steal my dad's car for a retreat that I have to attend out in the middle of nowhere -- or roughly a half-hour away. Previously it was going to be held at my boss' house, and some of us requested a change of venue for various reasons, including distance. Instead, it's now being held in a location convenient to even fewer, and in a place that isn't even served by buses, unlike her house. *sigh* And because the coworkers most convenient to me are the ones with whom I least want to carpool, here I am. :)


I suspect -- know? -- this doesn't mean the same to you as it does to me. At some points, that's devastating; at others, I'm okay. I don't know how this will all pan out, but I suspect I'll get hurt. Seems to be my lot in life.

What is it that draws me to inappropriate or unattainable guys? I suspect if I answer that question, well... I don't know. I'll solve my life or something.

I was telling my parents about a regular at the Newf's bar who was possibly hitting on me some time ago (just after New Year's, if you want a better date). The guy's nice, but in a rough place in his life -- regardless of that, he's not my type for a multitude of reasons. Anyhow, as I told my mom about this, she asked me when I was going to be bringing him home.

Yeah, my mom's wonderfully supportive, isn't she? *sigh* It's crap like this that keeps me telling people that I'm not confident, I am insecure -- these digs can and do find their ways in, and they can hurt.

But enough whining. In some ways, my life greatly amuses me; like the fact that there's a bottle of lube in my kitchen, a vibrator in my shower, and a green plastic box almost empty of condoms in my bedroom nighttable. All of this is awesome, but I was mainly amused by the bottle of lube in the kitchen. I need to remember to put that away soon, or people won't be able to trust my cooking.

I had book club last night, and we talked about "Everyone in Silico," by Jim Munroe. Interesting book, though it's a bit of rehashed story; future society, everything's technological, minds/spirits removed from bodies to live in a glorified world, people working to overthrow the system, advertising everywhere, coolhunting, etc... For whatever reason, when I was at the restaurant with the rest of the book club women who'd shown up, I didn't really want to discuss it. I felt like if I'd wanted to, I'd have dominated the conversation, since it dealt with issues that are integral to my degree(s), but I was more interested in simply listening to what the others had to say, I guess. I know N, who chose it, had said she had thought of me while she was reading it because of the communications aspects to it. I think part of why I didn't want to talk about it too much was because I was dissatisfied with the ending, and frustrated with some of the book... maybe another read through will change my opinion on it, but for now, for some reason, I just feel unsettled by it, for lack of a better word. If anyone's read it, I'd be interested in hearing their thoughts on it, absolutely.

We ate at a Sri Lankan restaurant that was quite tasty, and I very much enjoyed my chicken buryani, but I didn't much like the naan bread; I like Indian naan better. I'd certainly go back or recommend it to anyone who enjoys Indian and/or Thai food, although our service was quite slow.

Post bookclub, several of us went back to Greg and Madeleine's place to socialize. After S and N departed, the conversation somehow turned to one of our friends with whom we've had some recent drama, and the ways in which some of us have been dealing with it. Greg and I wound up dominating the discussion and going back and forth, and my only concern with the conversation stemmed from the fact that I feel I came off quite cold about friendship. What I was trying to explain was how yes, in these particular circumstances, I am somewhat of a bitch... but I also wanted to explain why I felt the way I did, so as to perhaps not come off as a bitch. Seems to be my lot in life, depending on the circumstances -- I know that some of the more sensitive boys I've dated have perhaps thought of me as being rather cold and/or callous, and I know that there are a few I could name (but won't; you know who you are), who, because I don't show my emotions the way they want/are used to/do themselves, assume that I don't have any, or don't feel as strongly as they do about things.

In a few of the latest rounds of socializing, my male friend N and I have gone on walks or sat alone for awhile to discuss life issues, and what I hadn't realized was some of the commonalities he and I share in terms of how we react to people. Both of us are guilty of heavily overanalyzing things, and looking for the layers of meaning in that which people say or do. I'm not sure that people realize this or are sensitive to it all the time; as much as I strive to be direct in my words or actions, sometimes there are layers to them, and I do assume that everyone else acts accordingly. I think that's why it can hurt so much when I'm being straight with someone and they aren't being the same way in return. I'd rather have the bad news, the straight story than have someone lie to protect my feelings; I'm a big girl and can cope.

Boy, this is quite the disjointed brain-dump. I had other parts I was going to throw in, but I think this is enough for now. I'll just leave you with one more story:

I really love my friends. Case in point -- and bear with me, 'cause this one's a bit long-winded (like all of my stories): Stefan and I went for dinner. On the way to the restaurant, I was talking about various woes of mine, and mentioned that a particular someone has complained that I'm too tight for him, that he's fooled around with virgins who aren't as tight. I'm not bragging; if anything, I find it absurd, but I'm just repeating what has been said on many occasions.

On the walk home, I was saying I wanted a penis, and talking about the things I would do if I had one. Stefan said I'd need a few days with one, because it's no fun to masturbate, get head, get a handjob and have sex all in the same day.

He then said he wanted a vagina, and referred to it as a flesh purse. I hit him for that one, then mentioned how I was grossed out by the women that did things like that -- there are at least two videos I've seen screencaps of on youporn.com of women with full-sized ipods in their girl parts. Stefan thought this was a great idea, and I said that I'd also seen pictures of women with pint-glasses full of beer in their girl parts. Stefan said that you'd always know where your beer was, and I said that you'd have to be quite flexible in order to drink it. I then said I wouldn't be able to accommodate an ipod, that I'd be limited to a few pens or a big marker -- to which Stefan replied that I'd make a bad upside-down kangaroo.

For whatever reason, that struck me as absolutely hilarious, and so I'm sharing it with you, fully realizing that it's nowhere near as funny second-hand, written from my poor memory, and committed to text. But I tried, and now I know; I'd make a bad upside-down kangaroo.


In a bit of a break from all the thought-focused posts that have appeared lately (and a few more to come), I present to you some news on Futurama.

First, a brief interview on the upcoming television series.

Then, information on four Futurama movies going straight to DVD.