Barrage? Okay, not really...
Hello, Romeo/Romea! You scored a...69% Love hurts, don't it? You're in pure love— the kind with sonnets and hovering cherubs— and you ache like an old man's back for your crush. The superficial things that other people care about— money, looks, body odor— don't hold much water with you. You wouldn't care if your dreamboat were the Exxon Valdez, so don't be surprised if you ever fall in love with an oily barge. Respect the twinkie, but don't ignore its needs.

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