Updates on the evening later, after I've had some sleep. I don't feel particularly tired, but I don't know. I was almost crying in the car on the way home, and I haven't slept in too long (or for long enough), so obviously I am.

Basically, nothing much has changed, which kinda sucks. Well, really sucks.

Sometimes I wonder what other people think of when they think of me. Someone who talks too much? Someone who says things that just aren't that interesting? Someone fun to be around with interesting insights? I was told I was thought of (or at least perceived) as well-informed today, so that was kinda nice (game of Ego). Am I anyone's confidante? Would I be missed if I never went to the gatherings? Am I missed at all? Does anyone want to be 'that special someone' for me, or is friendship sufficient all around?

Last night with the ladies, and this was something I mentioned tonight with a different crew of ladies, I realized that I was the largest one there. With D and her crew, I generally blend into the woodwork. I'm not exotic-looking or stacked or skinny or tall or anything outstanding; I'm slightly rotund, short, kinda blonde, and usually wear glasses; there's nothing especially out-standing with me, and last night, I was the heaviest one of us all. This evening, not so much, but... I guess different groups do shape different ideas of oneself.

Am I a good friend? Why? Do I keep secrets well? Do I provide a good shoulder to cry on or ear to bend? Am I just one of the crew, or do I stand out for a particular reason? (Preferably a good one). Am I someone that people turn to in times of need, or just when no one else is about?

J once said he thought that D wasn't particularly remarkable in the looks department. That was nice to hear, especially since I figure most any guy would rather have her than me.

Mind you, there was one guy who was chatting with me at the frat last night as opposed to her or any of the others, but that may just have been because I was trailing, I don't know.

The psychic tonight was interesting; there were a few things that were said that I felt really applied to me, and it was kinda neat to hear it. Apparently I am a Virgo, as opposed to a blend of Virgo-Leo, which was kinda cool.

Anyhow, I'm going to go to bed now, and dream depressing thoughts. Soon, I will be able to type a coherent sentence or even word (my ability to do which is steadily diminishing, even as I type these words alone). Tomorrow will be the updates on the birthday dinner, frat party, and today's evening. At some point, I may even get some schoolwork done.

And of course, Shadow has chosen now to adopt my lap. Her timing is impeccable. :)