I want to write, but I don't know what to say. I don't know if I have anything of value to say.

I appreciate the fact that people read this site... I just don't necessarily know why. I mean, half of my friends don't seem to, but yet, strangers do. Why?

I've been told I'm a good writer, and I appreciate that. My mom told me, back when I was picking my major, three and a half years ago, that she always saw me doing something with my writing.

Well, the last little while has shown me that I can write on a regular basis, and I can even keep up something on a regular schedule. I'm proud of that. I'm just uncertain about it actually being worth anything to anyone other than a select few.

I want to get through the next few hurdles and just be onwards and upwards. There will be a lot of interesting developments over the next little while, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with them; hell, I'm not even sure how to think of them.

I need to get past this procrastination thing. Stop spending time on the phone, stop screwing around on Trillian, stop focusing on things other than school. It's just... school isn't always fascinating. It's funny; when you're in elementary school and high school, being bored with your classes sometimes acts to show that you're gifted. In my experience, it also shows that you're taking a boring course. Case in point? Theories of Communications. So not riveting, and yet, I have to take it. Frig. That's one thing I like about writing; the only restrictions that I have are the ones I've put on myself. Here, well... restrictions are popping up now. So much that I've learned over the last while can't go anywhere, and it means a lot to me that people are willing to entrust me with that knowledge, especially considering my openness in all/most regards. On Whore's Boudoir, the only restrictions are the ones I've put on myself: that my columns average between 700 and 750 words, that they be about something related to relationships and/or sex, and that they appear on Tuesdays and Fridays. But that's all fluid, and those are just rules I put on myself.

I think I'm going to scrap what I have of My Novel and start over. I haven't anything close to a plot or outline; I'll just take it how I want. Maybe I'll just turn it into a porn novel, have my characters have tonnes of hot sex and nothing else. :)

I'm so frustrated with everything right now.

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