I feel as though the next few months are going to be very decisive for me. I feel as though I am poised on the threshold of something big, something important, and it will merely take a few pushes in order to make things happen.

The reality of things that were merely vague pipe dreams now appear to be possible, tangible options. The next few months are full of promise, and … well, I guess we’ll see, now.

Mind you, I’ve felt this before, this promise of things to come, this anticipation… and nothing has really come of it. Nonetheless… the end of the degree is in sight. Moving out looms tantalizingly on the horizon. Finances are stacking up, slowly but surely. Debt is mounting (damn VISA and spending habits… books are my downfall, and lately, possibly also DVDs).

I decided that I want to turn my old desk into a writing desk when I move out. Keep it stocked full of notebooks and stationery and pens. I’d like, when I get old and have my own place, to have a roll-top desk to use as a proper writing desk. It might not accommodate a computer too well, but sometimes I prefer to longhand out when I’m doing.

Markuk gave me a really nice writing book for Christmas, along with a book about Canadian pop culture and particularly its women in history. I’ve started reading it, and it’s written with a sense of humour; those are the cultural/media/feminist studies books I prefer to read. Pink Think is good for that, as are a number of others I’ve read.

The only problem I have with the writing book is that because of its quality, I feel that what I write in it has to have some significance, some importance to it, and I rarely feel that way about anything I write. So it’ll likely become a transcription book, where I write out those things I do feel worthy of keeping – either of my works or those of others. We’ll see what happens.

I was telling Ben the other day that I’ve long had a compositional fetish for clean notebooks, or stacks of loose leaf. I love a stack of paper, whether it consists of math problems to answer, quizzes to fill out, or merely lined pages waiting for something to be written on them. I love office supplies; post-its, pens, notebooks, notepads, desk blotters, desks, desk chairs, highlighters… they all call out to me in a strange way.

The computer screen before my eyes and the feel of a familiar keyboard beneath my fingers hold some of the same allure. The advantage to computer composition is that I can type faster than I can write, I can save things and return to them later very easily, and I can do my editing on the fly. I wrote before, I didn’t realize how much on the fly editing I did until I started longhanding out my blog entries and articles when I was at work or elsewhere. It’s so easy to delete sections that I dislike or go back and flesh out paragraphs… even once I’ve posted something, I often go back and add in paragraphs or phrases here and there in order to add details I’ve forgotten.

I’ve gotten in the habit of carrying a notebook in my coat pocket. I carried it for awhile in my bag (okay, my purse), but it took up too much room. It’s come in handy many times, and today’s Chapters excursion added a few titles to its depths for later contemplation.

That’s not to say I didn’t do a significant amount of damage at Chapters even without the few titles I eyed and decided to wait on. If anyone wants to buy me a present… well, I’ll let you know the titles I wanted. ;)

Anyhow, today was the post-Christmas shopping excursion for me. It consisted of Future Shop, where I dropped $120 with tax on DVDs (Beetlejuice, Full Monty, Toy Story 1 & 2, Carol Burnett’s Show Stoppers, and Spaceballs), then off to Chapters where I dropped $50 or so on various books. I picked up a few books that they’d marked down to 75% off, and I also got a little catnip kit – I figure that can be the kitties’ Christmas gift, since I didn’t actually go get them anything, horrible mother that I am and all.

The last few days have just been a total blur; I worked the 23rd for much of the day, then hung out with Markuk (I think, like I said, it’s a blur), then took the 24th off in order to do what I’d intended to be nothing. Which then turned into a Warcraft/gift wrapping spree, courtesy of my mom (well, the second part, I mean), then off to see Mark and exchange gifts. I gave him Yoshi’s Island for Game Boy Advance (his birthday gift from Ben) and a big bag of Reese’s Pieces, and he gave me Monty Python’s Holy Grail on DVD as well as a cute stuffed cat. Very soft; I love stuffed animals. :)

Ben gave me Muppet Treasure Island on DVD, one of the Muppet movies I don’t own, and particularly not on DVD, so that was cool. My folks got me the Back to the Future 3-pack on DVD, as requested, and my sister picked it up for my dad. *grin* I’m noticing it’s a very popular acquisition amongst friends of a certain age group.

I got some nice clothes; there was very much a blue theme going on this year, I noticed. Last year was purple (something like 7 of 9 tops I got were some variation of purple), and the year before was red. In addition, there was a slight cat theme going on; got a little stuffed cat toy from the folks, one of those baby toys they sell at card stores, very cute (I think I bought one for myself, but I can’t seem to find it, so maybe not… although I could be hiding the lost civilization of Atlantis in here, so a little foot-long toy is not exactly going to stand out). My aunt got me a switchplate painted with cats and a stuffed pig toy, and my folks also got me this really nice wooden napkin holder with matching salt and pepper shakers – painted with cats. It’s super-sweet.

The big gift this year from my parents was my own little TV with a built-in VCR. It’s mainly for when I move out, but I can set it up now my mom said (sure, I’ll just keep it on the bed!), and so that’s one reason why I need to clean my room. Among about a billion others. ;) It’s just a little TV, 13”, but it’s still pretty sweet.

But that’s not why the last few days have been a blur. It’s been work – urgh. For anyone who bothered to check my schedule, you could see that I worked, as previously mentioned, the 23rd, the 25th (noon-6), the 26th (noon – 6), the 27th (from about 10:30 – 6:15, actually, not the 6-10 written on there), and then tomorrow is 12-6, Sunday is 5-11 and then Monday I work… and I’m taking New Year’s Eve off, and I don’t work New Year’s Day, ‘cause I said no!

On actual Christmas Day, we all got up earlyish and opened gifts, then I dropped by J’s place so I could collect the gift he told me he’d purchased for me. It was really nice – a photo album meant for putting pictures of cats in it. Then off to work, after which I picked up Markuk (after doing gift exchange there) and had dinner at my place. We played Trivial Pursuit (the game my sister had gotten for Christmas, their 20th anniversary edition), and he and I watched the MST version of Manos: Hands of Fate at his place. I fell asleep near the end, then we went downstairs to doze on and off until about 4, when I finally decided to haul my ass home to bed. I slept from about 5 until 9, and it felt like that was the only sleep I got. Combined with the six hours from the night before, I was not a happy camper. :P

I still haven’t quite figured out what I want to do for New Year’s. I kinda had the expectation of hanging out with the group… and then my girlfriend D is trying to get me to go out with her and the girls at some bar for a James Bond themed party, but that’s really not my scene, whatsoever. She’s really into dance bars and such; I just like ‘em once in awhile. Then Moose wants to spend the holiday with me… so I don’t know. My current plan is to hide at home and knock back the rest of the bottle of Baileys that I bought a few days ago. We’ll see what I actually wind up doing.

I saw Catch me if you can the other night with Ben and gf, Mark, other brother and gf, and their sister. We ate dinner at East Side Mario’s first, had a great waitress and had fun. Their brother and I were joking about me buttering Mark’s nose (I’d threatened to do it for some reason or another), and I was offered a loonie to do it… so I waited until Mark wasn’t paying attention and schloop! Butter on the nose. I didn’t quite catch it myself, but apparently the look on his face was priceless.

After dinner was the flick, then off to the household where everyone pretty much just went to bed. I got to sleep around 2 or so, Mark disappearing for awhile downstairs to play video games or something. When the alarm went off at 9, I felt like ass. :P I was planning on an early night this evening, but so far that’s not quite panning out. I suck.

*laugh* That reminds me. A couple of brilliant observations from the last few days (once again, names are hidden to protect the guilty, and the quotes likely can’t be attributed to who you think):

“I have sensitive nipples!”

“You suck!” (Really funny if you know the context, but I can’t quite give it away. Suffice it to say, it wasn’t exactly a suited time to say it, and no, it wasn’t during head).

“I was going to say, you should hear her, it’s really funny, but then I realized… waitaminute.”
People make me laugh, and that makes me happy. My boss got me some nice chocolates and stuff as a thank you for working Christmas Day.

Anyhow, time for bed for real now. I don’t get the car tomorrow, which is fine, but it means I have to be up a bit early. I’ll likely write more from work (as if this wasn't enough to read :).