And because I screwed around, I don't really have time to write the stuff I wanted to write about. Look for some update awesomeness tomorrow, though, when I dump the contents of my brain onto these pages for you to marvel and grumble about.

With any luck, tomorrow will also include a new article or two. And some email replyage. :)

How does a writer convey their passionate interest in something? Is it possible, when reading something, to determine whether the author had a passionate interest in that topic? If you were to read my final exam, or a paper I'd written for a class where I happened to feel particularly uninspired, would that come through? Is my writing somehow better when I talk about something I found to be funny or touching or just plain interesting, like how stupid Shadow looked sprawled out on her back today for several minutes straight?

I have a maiden aunt. For those not familiar with the term, it's reserved for an unmarried aunt, usually someone older. I also have a maiden uncle, if I can steal the term and assign it to him. I don't know the history of their romantic escapades, but I do know that, nearing and over fifty, neither of them happens to have found that someone with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives. Talking about love just now with a friend, it was said: "Love: It's not all about flowers and walks on beaches.You know that better than anyone."

(And as a side note, my French manicure was just called a Freedom Manicure. That's fantastic).

Anyhow, I whined that I wanted those flowers and walks on the beaches. Part of me feels that that someone I'm going to marry is close by, and I'll realize it or find them sometime in the nearish future. But am I wrong to assume that I'll find that someone soon, when I have two close relatives who never have? Are some of us destined to never marry, never find that "special someone"?

My aunt and uncle have filling, happy lives. Neither of them would say that they were unhappy, I think. I don't think anyone needs to be paired off or married to feel complete, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it for myself.

Sometimes I think that people like Philip have the right idea -- just go out and fuck whomever offers in a given evening, and be done with it. The rest of the time, I just want me a good man who knows how to get me off and enjoys doing it. ;) And yet more times (for when I have free time), I think I just spend too much time in my head, overanalyzing things. Or at least, that's what Jay says, and he knows all. ;)

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I carry on.

The lies and hypocrisy that some people carry around with them and tell themselves amazes the fuck out of me sometimes. There are times I hear people say things and I just want to turn to them and say, "I cannot believe you just fucking said that! Did you think before that asinine thing came out of your mouth?"

The same goes for things that appear in people's journals -- I'm not trying to say that I'm perfect in what I write, far from it in fact. However, when it comes to that which I post here, I aim for a fair representation of what happened, even if it doesn't cast me in the most favourable of lights. If I was bitchy to someone -- like in my last email to UBFM, for example -- I will say so. I will not apologize for my bitchiness unless I have done so to the recipient. If I feel contrite about it, I will express it. But I will not try to say that I deserve bitchy time because of stress or whatever. I might use that to explain my bitchiness, but I'm not going to feel justified about it, just remorseful later.

I had bitchy thoughts about Mark, actually, and an invitation he'd extended to me. I thought perhaps that I was being taken advantage of, and I talked it out with a friend, and then I talked to Mark about it and got it all sorted out. I felt much less grumpy after that.

Bah. This stupid exam has been causing me much grief, and there's another grievous one pending. I have a crapload of reading to do for that one, and some notes to get from the library (note to self: get the notes from the library) to prep for it. I also have my mystery novel and witchcraft exams, which do not cause me much concern. Especially not in comparison.

Hopefully, once the 23rd passes, I will feel much better. Much better. Hopefully. Keep repeating that. ;)

In other news; I am very shortly going to be a contributing member to Bad Samaritan, which is pretty cool. It's not for cash or anything other than lots of attention, which I might even be able to draw over to my own sites. ;) What else? The magazine still wants me to write for them, and I have a few other writing possibilities, I just have to follow up on them. I'll be glad when this albatross known as school clambers down from my neck and gives me the freedom to make huge amounts of mad cash so I can move out and be a slob in my own apartment. :)

Anyhow, this is long enough and I really must be off to bed. More tomorrow, I'm sure.

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