How my friends show me love:

Jay: You going to live?
Me: Did you have plans otherwise?
Jay: I want your stuffed lion.
Me: Tough. He's busy protecting a family.
Jay: Well, I'll take the whole family then, if you're dead.
Me: Wow, that's cold. :(
Jay: Well, come on, I'm trying to look at the bright side of you kicking over. At least I get a lion or something out of the deal.
Jay: As it stands, if you decided you won't survive this ordeal, I get nothing.
Me: I could give you a pencil.
Jay: Okay, a pencil is a good memento.

... and the signoff: 'Night sweetie. :) Try not to kick over till you've found a good pencil. ;)