I feel quite strongly that someone should sit Rod Stewart down and explain to him that he should only record his original material.

I had to upload him singing, "They can't take that away from me" today, and quite frankly, I could barely listen to the first ten seconds. I honestly didn't listen to the song that closely, but that which I did hear, I hated. With the fiery passion of ten thousand burning suns. Because you know what? That song deserves only to be recorded by serious, ohIdon'tknow, jazz artists, and not singers like Rod Stewart.

Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing it? Classic. Rod Stewart singing it? Travesty. An assault on good musical tastes everywhere. It was very much poo.

For those having trouble playing at home; Rod Stewart, "They can't take that away from me"? I didn't like it. :)

Anyhow, that's today's news. Well, that and I had one of my offers from work renewed -- although this time a relationship was also somewhat offered. I think he's just hard up for lovin', but it's nice to know that my potential status has been upgraded from "nostrings booty call." :P :)

What else? Well, I'm tired and my legs and feet hurt. But some of my coworkers are a lot of fun to work with, so that's cool. The others don't seem to warm up as quickly, but I think I'm getting there for them. I seem to work with a lot of the same people, so that's kinda nice.

Well, I did also have a list that I promised to go through, so let's see...

Ah yes, before I forget: I have a date for my graduation now. I mean, a date that grad's going to happen. :) June 3rd, at 2:30 p.m., I will once again don a cap and gown (or something and a gown) and stride across a stage, watched by hundreds of people I don't know and a few I do while someone mispronounces my name at me. Sweet!

So, starting with the less raunchy stuff:

The Bridal Shower
My dad drove me out to the semi-east end Sunday morning so I could grab a lift with N, one of Madeleine's bridesmaids. I got to see her dress, which was really pretty and looked really nice on her -- I say no more so as to keep it a surprise. Afterwards, we drove over to pick up AM and Mad, and when we arrived, JW opened the door and announced to us, "Mad's not here." He didn't move from the doorway to invite us in, so we promptly played this up, staring around the porch and saying that we'd wait outside. We were invited inside, where we stood about and chatted while we waited.

When I asked if I could use the washroom, I was told no, and so I offered to go out and piddle on the porch. I got to use the washroom. :)

Then it was off to Madeleine's bridal shower, complete with cute party games and such. It was held at her maid of honour's house. It was the first time I'd met her maid of honour, and I liked her; she's really sweet. We had awesome homemade Indian food, and it was my first exposure to samosas -- I just had the one, but it was really tasty. Because I mistimed my washroom visit, I wound up becoming a "toilet paper bride" -- whereby my teammates designed me a dress made from a roll of toilet paper. No, Jay, I wasn't naked underneath. It was great fun, except that I wound up with a butt bow, and flowers in my meagre cleavage that kept coming undone; my dress style would've required a larger-busted woman to really bring it all together.

Falling asleep at work
After the bridal shower, I got dropped off downtown so I could toddle off to work. Since I didn't sleep well the night before, and I was up early to ensure a prompt arrival at N's place, I was pretty exhausted by the afternoon. In fact, it got so that around 6 p.m., an hour into my shift, I was very very tempted to phone various people to see if they could come in and cover for me, because I didn't think I was going to make it to the end of my shift (11 p.m.). I settled into my chair and wound up getting pretty comfortable pretty quickly, with the end result that I dozed off for about a ten minute stretch or so. Not all at once; I kept checking the time to ensure that everything was running smoothly, and I did have one ear attuned to what was going on to make sure I didn't miss any cues, but I did doze off. *blush* The thing is, I was in the right zone and got enough rest that I felt good for the rest of the evening, so I guess it balanced out.

Lord knows I'm not the first to have done it and I won't be the last; at least I didn't get out of my chair and crawl under the board to sleep, like one person I heard of. :P

Why I hate everyone under the age of 20 (with perhaps a few exceptions)
Backtracking across the weekend, and explaining why I didn't get enough sleep Saturday night, Ben and I wandered out past downtown to hang out with the gang for OFK's birthday. There was quite the group there; we played some DanceDance Revolution, and I actually played for once. Well, a few times, but it was fun. I was told I did really well for a beginner -- I was getting C's on level 2s and 3s, whereby usually newbies die out. Mind you, N and I died a few times on the level 3s, but we had fun, at least. :) JW is crazy to watch playing it, as is Mad or AM; they're all quite good at it.

Anyhow, a group of us wound up in conversation for quite a stretch of the evening, and around quarter after 2 in the morning, Greg dropped Ben and I off downtown so we could begin our trek home. We picked up some cash from the bank and just as we were trying to find a cab to flag down, the bus arrived, so we took it. Big mistake; because (at this point) it was about twenty to 3 in the morning, we were riding the bus with all the drunken 19- and 20-year old morons who drink to get stupidly trashed and can't handle themselves -- or behave -- when they do. Urgh. Two people directly across from us smoked two cigarettes, one after the other, and a joint was being passed around between a few people. There was one young guy whose sole vocabulary consisted of "motherfuck" this and "motherfuck" that. Now, I'm no purist; Lord knows I can swear with the best of them, but after hearing it a dozen times in less than a minute... frankly, I think we get your point. You're uneducated and drunk. Great to have you along for the ride.

One of the girls stumbled up the length of the bus to talk to the driver, and Ben and I secretly hoped that as the crowds thinned out, the driver would notice something -- perhaps the noxious fumes emanating from the back? -- but alas, very shortly what we heard over the intercom was the announcement that one of the pot smokers was celebrating her 20th birthday today, and happy birthday to her. My sentiments at the time: woo. Imagine that as lowercase and unenthusiastic as you possibly can, and that about sums it up.

I opened a window in an attempt to circulate some air and get the cigarette stink off of Ben and I, and it happened to be making one young thing in the back cold. She started asking if we'd close the window, and I, looking to punish the lot of them for the inconvenience of their presence (ooh, can I sound more arrogant?), said that I was having trouble breathing. Well, Miss Thing was complaining about how "fucking freezing" she was, and the group of them started getting more and more aggressive and semi-abusive as the trip went on, so rather than getting off at the end of the line as I had planned, I wound up getting off at Ben's stop and splitting a cab with him. One girl stole our cab -- hello, there's a lineup! -- but it actually paid off in the end, 'cause we got the...

Nice cab driver
Not a lot I can say about him, aside from he was really chatty and nice, and I liked him. I wound up tipping him $4 'cause he was really understanding and nice and such, and even though I didn't get home until 4 in the morning and didn't sleep for about an hour after that, he definitely improved the day.

Necrophilia vs. bestiality vs. bestiality necrophilism
Backing up to earlier in the evening, this has to do with a topic that Greg (of course ;) introduced. I forget how, I forget why, but apparently it had a lot to do with the fact that he was short on sleep as well. Namely, he was discussing necrophilia and bestiality, and then wondering which would be more immoral -- to have sex with a dead person, or a dead animal. I said a dead animal, because it combines two elements -- bestiality and necrophilia -- and then we started discussing whether people are reduced to the level of animals once they're dead... or something like that. To be honest, I was trying my best to stay out of the conversation, but it wasn't very easy... especially when it moved to

Necrophilia with Jen
I think this came about because I made some comment about how these conversations probably never take place when I'm not around; that they're nice, happy types of conversations the nights I'm not there, but when I am... although to be perfectly honest, I don't remember how the hell it came about. I do remember, quite distinctly, that it led to Greg having the following conversation with himself:
"Oh no, we do talk about you when you're gone, but it's more like, "Y'know Jen? Yeah, I can't wait until she's dead. Then I can have sex with her!""

Then JW jumped in and helped out with different emphases that could be placed on different words -- "We'll only have sex wth you when you're dead." or "We'll only have sex with you when you're dead" and so on and so forth.

I think I wailed somewhat plaintively that I was sure that somewhere existed people who would want to have sex with me while I was still alive, to which I was told something about how that group would only do it when I was dead, just for me... or words to that effect.

And that's the necrophilia stories.

Had some great chats with Jay the last few days. We've made plans to be drunk at the wedding, although N mentioned that the whole group is going to be like that, so we might have some company. ;) It's all a joke, but it's funny to talk about. :) We've also decided that we're probably going to say horribly inappropriate things at the wrong time, so we probably shouldn't sit together -- although since he's no longer putting out for J at this event, and I've booked him as my sorta-not-really-confirmed date, then we might have to sit together. :)

Although we do have crazy plans for who he could take as a date, although since we've been asked not to bring dates, it's really all just in jest... but fantastic jest nonetheless. Okay, so I found it funny. But it's the kind of the thing that would bring about a cry of horror or shock from the rest of the group, so it would never be acted upon -- Jay and I are neither stupid, nor cruel. :)

Anyhow, I must very much be off to bed now. I hope this update will help keep people busy for awhile. ;) I'm off to bed and then to work... the month of May is going to be a busy one, at least across a few weekends. At some point soon I'm going to post my new schedule (at least over the next few weeks), but in the meantime, it stands as such:

Tomorrow: 12-7:30, then off to see X-Men 2 with Gord, Shawn, Ben, and I imagine Sue.
Saturday, 10-5:30. Afterwards, hanging out with friends of the family.
Sunday, 5-11.

Monday-Wednesday, usual hours. Then Wednesday is 3:30-10:00. Beyond that, I can't remember and I'm too lazy to go look. :)

Working two jobs somewhat sucks, and working one where I'm on my feet for large portions of the day really sucks. :P

For now, I'm off to drag my tired bones off to bed and speculate on future column topics. Or just snore.

Oh yes, and because I know you all care desperately: I've burned all of season 6 to CDs and I have but one episode in season 4 to download for my collection of seasons 4-7 to be complete. I rule. ;)

I also hit the banks tonight and got rid of my tax return and latest paycheque. If I can keep this up, I'll be doing well. :)

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