Okay, there have been a few things floating around here over the last few days that I’ve wanted to write, but haven’t been able to for one reason or another. Okay, one reason: laziness.

Anyhow, the last few days… I really have to stop updating this a few days at a time, it makes for a really long entry interspersed with either days of nothing or little quizzes and quotes. Ah well, it all depends on my mood.

Sunday I didn’t do much of anything, although I did get another article written for my paper that’s due tonight (that I’ve taken two days off from work to write, that I’m semi-ignoring to do this… but I’m up earlier than usual and I’m pretty much ready for the day now, so I’m ahead of the game). I went to work, and I had to park further away than I would have liked (or that I’ve had to for the last few weeks), but ah well. It was nice out, I got a bunch of errands done (okay, two, but I was on foot and carrying all of my crap with me), and then I went to work.

I was really pleased, it was a nice and quiet night, and I amused myself by copying things from my maroon article book into my diary book, so that I might make my maroon book safe to pass out to people; that way, I don’t have to watch them to make sure they’re not flipping backwards and reading all about my random sexcapades. Unless I want them to. :) It was funny noting how sparse I’d been in some accounts: for example, writing about Canada Day, I gave simply the facts, no details about how hot it was, or how my shift went, or even the fight I had with the coworker ‘cause he was a moron. I was able to remember it all ‘cause it was there and fairly recent, but… anyhow. Aside from my catching stupid, it was a good night… and I got to talk to Ian Thomas, who was really nice and friendly – and said my laugh and voice were exactly like Cathy Cochrane, Tom Cochrane’s wife (Tom being someone I met briefly a few months ago), so that was cool.

So, when I went to leave, the temperature had dropped from like -3 to about –a kajillion degrees (or so the thermometer said), so I was really looking forward to getting into my freezing cold little green shitmobile (my pet name for the car), and driving most of the way home before it warmed up. Now, the LGS doesn’t have power anything; no power locks, no power windows, not even power steering. I also call it the Sherman tank in cold weather, ‘cause it steers about as well as I imagine a Sherman tank might.

I trek out of work, not very well-dressed for the elements, ‘cause I hadn’t known that the world was going to freeze so quickly. No big deal. I get in the car, and go to turn on the headlights (power nothing, remember). The little portion of the stick won’t turn. I think, “Weird, could it be frozen? Probably not, ‘cause I’ve had the car out in colder weather and this hasn’t happened…” So I try to turn on the car. Nothing. Ohshitohshitohshit… Turn the little portion of the stick again, this time towards me… and it turns. I left the fucking lights on. For the first time ever in driving Mom’s car (okay, second, but my neighbour caught me that time), I leave the lights on. On a freezing cold night. Now the battery is dead.

Crap. I sit there for a few minutes, weighing my options, when I decide I’ll try going into the pizza place across from where I’m parked and see if there’s someone there that can help me. It’s part of the same franchise that the pizza guy worked at, but there are a few of them around the city and I didn’t think too much of it except but to be pleased that they’re doing well (my family is friendly with the owners). I wander in, get a vague impression of the guy working behind the counter, my glasses fog up before I get the chance to really figure out who it is, and I hear, “Jen!”

I peer over the top of my glasses and recognize N, one of the friends of pizza guy. I’d met him on a few occasions and liked him, but never really had too much to say to him. I think I’d found him a bit intimidating – actually, I found a number of pizza guy’s friends intimidating. Not because they actually were, just because they were so far removed from my usual crowd that I wasn’t sure how to always react or respond to them.

No matter. I explain the situation to N, we try to figure things out. I had thought that I didn’t have jumper cables, but after reaching a few dead ends and calling my dad to get info on CAA, it turns out I did. So, we head out to boost the car off of his driver’s wheels. There’s a car parked in the spot facing my car (with a median strip between them, where the meters are), with a couple sitting in it, chatting. We get the hood up and wait a minute or two to see if they’re going to move, when N knocks on the window and asks if he’d mind trading spots for just a second so we can boost my car (my other suggestion had been to push it around to where he was parked, which would have involved doing a U-turn through a relatively quiet intersection). The guy starts up his car and pulls up onto the median himself, so I can boost my car off of him. I love my city.

After that, drove home and tried to warm up. My toes were quite chilly, in spite of my Sorels (winter boots). Ah well.

Yesterday was spent primarily working on my paper, then I went off to my radio class… where we took the full three hours. Urgh. It figures of course, since I’d made plans to go fish shopping with Mark if there had been time, and grab coffee with Ben. Ben and I grabbed some indigestion pizza and sugar disguised as a chocolate suicide cake, then I took him to his place. I was going to drop off Stinky’s old tank for Mark, but he had gone to bed.

So, being the sweet girlfriend and brother that we are, we promptly stole upstairs to Mark’s room to jump on him. Ben did, I didn’t. Hung out with Mark for a few hours, and it was kinda funny; we were lying there snuggling, and my brain was drifting off on various tangents, and then I’d wake up and realize I’d fallen asleep. Around 3 I buggered off home, and then, because I hadn’t punished myself enough, stayed up until 5 finishing the book I bought the other night (the new Susan Andersen).

Then I got up today and here I am. :)

Now, on a few unrelated animal-related notes that I didn’t fit in properly in my little recitation… first, the fish (or ghoti, as some like to say).

I noticed that Peacock and Stick have blown bubbles around the edge of their tanks. This makes me happy, as it means that when they’re not busy showing off, trying to impress me with just how masculine they are, they’re being happy. I then peeked at Dr. Seuss and Stinky’s tank, but didn’t see anything… until I looked under their lily pads and saw big bubbles there. Yay, my fishies are nesting and being happy! This pleased me, as it meant that they weren’t stressed by their accommodations and such.

Secondly, the cats. For those who are just tuning in or who haven’t had the patience to go back through the archives (and I certainly understand), Digger is male and Shadow is female. They are both fixed. Digger is about seven and a half years old, and Shadow is a year and a bit, and they’ve both been fixed since their respective six month birthdays (thereabouts). Once upon a time, Digger was sitting on his tailbone and getting a belly rub, and he got a hardon (this was prior to his getting neutered); he also started getting a bit aggressive with Chloe, his sister, so that was what prompted his getting surgery first. Since that time, he appears to have forgotten what his bits are for. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

(I promise, I’ll get to the story eventually, there just needs to be backgrounding here for those who aren’t in the know and/or haven’t worked at an animal hospital/been to a farm). Now, when Shadow was maturing, she started giving off pheromones, which is normal. When this happens in heifers (cows who are virgins, have not yet been mated), they will attempt to mount one another. It’s not because they think that anything is going to happen, it’s simply that they detect the hormones in one another and are trying to alleviate it, or are reacting to it (such was my learning from the dairy farm visit that Meghan and I supervised in grade 10). Mom once saw Digger trying to mount Shadow when she was younger, as a result of this (as detailed above). It’s not a big deal, it’s certainly not going to produce kittens, but it’s not a good behaviour to encourage; once a cat or dog knows what mating is all about, they will continue to try to do it (this is why it’s not necessarily the best thing to mate a male cat or dog once and then have him neutered; he’ll continue to mount, even if it won’t do anything).

All of that said and done… my sister’s bedroom and mine face south, so they get the sun during the day. Sister’s bed is arranged such that it’s in the path of the sun, so the cats like to hang out there and sleep in the toasty warmness (those who can follow my twisty storytelling methods are likely starting to put the pieces together, but bear with me). I was working on my paper, but needed to get up to stretch my legs and use the washroom. In order to get to the washroom, I pass by my sister’s room, and because I’m an obsessive mommy, I peeked in at my cats, expecting to see the little darlings snuggled together, sleeping in the sun, as per usual.

Instead, I say Digger, my handsome kitty, mounted on top of a prostate Shadow, who to all appearances was stretched out, asleep. Since I wanted to give Digger the benefit of the doubt – after all, he could’ve just been standing over her, washing her – I went in and pushed him off of her. He didn’t resist me, just fell somewhat slowly. Because I’m sick and twisted, I checked to see if he had a hardon, and sure enough he did. My cat’s gross.

I let go of his leg and he lowered it somewhat, but kept it elevated still, as if his little throbbing kitty cock wouldn’t allow him to lower his leg entirely (I cannot believe I just wrote that, I’m so sorry). I thought it was funny as hell, and kept laughing throughout the day every time I thought of it. When I told my mom, she seemed to get a laugh out of it, too.

As for the big question: did they, or didn’t they? I’m in doubt as to whether they did. I’m fairly certain that cats always have sex … well, kitty-style. Digger also seemed to be positioned too far up Shadow for actual penetration, and she didn’t seem stressed at all by the event. At the same time, for all I know, this is how they while away their quiet time together, and this explains why Digger is so annoying whenever I’m home during the day; it’s not that he wants food; it’s that he wants to have the house to himself so he and Shadow can have crazy … monkey… kitty sex.

Digger also doesn’t appear to thrilled with my sharing this story; he just jumped up in my lap and had his nails digging wrong into my leg, although that was likely just because of the awkwardness of the jump. I can’t seem to look at his the same now. Horny little bugger.

Maybe this explains why they snuggle sometimes; they’ve just finished having crazy sex and they’re enjoying the afterglow. Urgh, I think this is venturing into kitty porn, and that wasn’t my intention. As well, I have a paper to write. I apologize to all whose psyches might be irrevocably damaged by that little tale, but ... I just had to share it. It was too weird, and too funny.

They knew their love was wrong, but the sun, the snuggling and the close contact had the effect of dulling their reason… They could barely resist the call of the forbidden, and the urge was overpowering. Just as he started to lick her neck and ready himself to start the age-old rhythm, the short blonde walked into the room. They’d forgotten she was home, and by the shock on her face, she hadn’t expected to catch them in the midst of passion, either. Everyone froze in place, making a comical tableau of arrested fervour and shock…

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