2003/12/08

He said he loved me while he was inside of me.
I didn't want to hear it.
I didn't want it to be about love for him,
Like it wasn't for me.
I wanted it to be about sex.
I wanted it to be about passion.
I wanted to forget.
I wanted to be away.
I wanted to be able to forget myself.
And him
And just feel.
He said he loved me while he was inside of me.
But he didn't,
Not really.
If he loved me, would he have tried so hard
To hurt me?
Would he have treated me the way he did?
I don't think so.
At least, I hope not.
Standing there, against the couch.
He said he loved me while he was inside of me.
Maybe once, it was about the passion.
Maybe once, it was about the sex.
But I never got to forget.
It never was about the sex.
It never was about the passion.
Instead, it was about him hurting me.
It was about him trying to make me something I wasn't.
It was about me trying to forget him.
Because he never loved me, not even when he was inside of me.
And that was the way I wanted it.
That was the way I wanted him.
But even that was short-lived.
All the love in my life is short-lived.

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