This is gonna be a long one... I was working on an update last week, never got back to it, and now I have more to add. A week since I last updated -- I am a bad mommy. :(

Welp, I am both strong and weak. Mostly weak, though. *sigh* We'll see how well this winds up working. I have no confidence in myself!

I also finally got some lock de-icer last night, and de-iced the fuck out of my mailbox. Couldn't get it open last night, but I did this morning. Success, and mail! Finally, after only about oh, say, 2 weeks? Urgh. Stupid Canada Post. Normally, I like you, but lately, you have upset me. I haven't even gotten a phone call back about the message I left last night, although maybe it was just a recording and not an actual answering machine. I was too tired yesterday to notice and/or care.

I also had keys left in my mailbox to unlock the parcel sections of the box, so I found that exciting and different -- and it meant that I had two other locks to deice. Annoying, but doable at least. Two more books for me, 'cause I don't already have enough to read. These at least will be quick reads, since they're light books.

Funny moment:

Me: And funny story/coincidence -- about a week or two after I decided that pursuing my interests was the best way of meeting someone I'm likely to have commonalities with ('cause, y'know, cross stitching is just such a group event), I have learned of a fetish ball that I will be attending! I will meet Mr. Perfect! *grin*
Friend: At a fetish ball? :) Fantastic.
Friend: Mister Perfect, or Mister Pervert? :)
Me: Well, sometimes Mister Perfect has a little Mister Pervert to him. :)
Friend: Funny story/Coincidence, that's the name I've given my manly bits. ;)
[other talk]
Friend: So tell me more about this fetish ball. What are you going as?
You should dress up like a giant foot.
Me: I'd been thinking something more simple, like corset, skirt, and accoutrements
Friend: You have a corset?
Friend: Well, duh. I guess it makes sense that I'd never seen you wear it. I was going to go "Oh, I've never seen it."
Me: *rofl*
Me: I have two of 'em, and one that's more meant to be worn in public, but I haven't worn it yet.
Friend: Watch out for wardrobe malfunctions. Especially if Justin Timberlake is there.
Me: Not quite the same look :)
Friend: If I were going to this thing, I'd go in an outfit entirely composed of whipped cream. :)
Me: Well, lower dirty parts must be kept covered, so there goes part of that -- unless you made it out of some kind of foam sealant material that wouldn't melt.
Friend: Where's the fun in that? :)
Friend: What if I dressed up as a vagina? Then my whole -outfit- would be lower bits.
Friend: Maybe I'd have to be a Vagina in a Trenchcoat.
Me: You are strange, and I'm never telling you anything again. :)
Friend: People could ask "Are you wearing anything under that trenchcoat?" and I could say in a high-pitched voice "I am a -VAGINA-!"
Me: Why does a vagina speak with a high pitched voice?
Friend: It doesn't... I do!
VAAAAAA-GINA!
Friend: *squeee*!
Me: ...
Friend: *laugh*
Friend: Okay, I'm even freaking myself out. :)
Friend: I'll stop. :)
However, I still think that would be a good costume. ;)
Me: Yeah, well, apparently you're dirtier than I knew. :)
Friend: Hey, there's nothing dirty about a vagina!
Me: I didn't say that... though dressing up as one probably starts getting you closer.
Friend: That's where life springs forth!
Me: I own one, I know their benefits. :)
Friend: Fair enough. :)
Me: Whereas you, as a boy, only have your dirty appreciation of vaginas. Therefore, you is a pervert. :)
Friend: Yeah yeah. Way to go gender discrimination!

Identity removed to protect my dirty friends. :)

Being a grownup sucks. I wish I could be more impulse-oriented and just follow my whims, but feelings must be taking into consideration.

On a totally separate note, if you haven’t seen the episode of Whose Line is it Anyway? where Richard Simmons appears, well, here’s a segment just for you. Awesome. Although there might be server issues. If that doesn’t load, google “Richard Simmons” and “Whose Line is it Anyway?” I promise, it’s worth it.

Anyhow, what has my week been like? Urgh. Crazy. The last two weeks have been fairly non-stop, and this week I’m trying to make time for everything.

Last week... Monday I went to the gym, then went and did something after the gym. I don’t remember what. I think that was the great lock de-icer day. Tuesday, I was supposed to go skating with someone, but I wound up rescheduling it and hanging out with the marshmallow (also knows as PDB).

Wednesday I cancelled on the gym to try to chase down my parcel from Canada Post, went to the wrong location (because they sent it to a different one than my regular location), and then I got together with Markuk. He brought over Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which I hadn’t seen, and which I really enjoyed. I just found it really easy to relate to – which is always nice when it comes to movies that are a bit ‘different.’

Thursday I was supposed to learn working out stuff with the marshmallow, but we ended up just hanging out and playing video games instead. I blame him. Friday, JJ and I went out for dinner and then we went to the Jeff Healey concert, which was really good. Jeff Healey was dancing and jumping on stage, and everyone was joking – his voice is really well-suited to the new style he’s doing, too. One of the ticket-rippers was an English teacher at my old high school – one that I’d never had, but she recognized me and remembered my first name. Scary... I never had this woman, and I graduated high school five years ago! English teachers are scary..

Saturday, I did some shopping with my mom and my youngest cousin, who’s working in town for the next few months as part of a co-op term. We seemed to get along fairly well; when Mom was setting up the day, she was mentioning that she thought my cousin felt somewhat overwhelmed with all the differences between here and home and her university life... I think it was implied in some way that I could probably do a good job making her feel comfortable, and I know that Mom did actually use the line “Jenny, after they made you, they broke the mold,” on me, which was new and kinda cool. :D I picked up a new video game, a book, a CD and some trashy underwear from La Senza (which just isn’t as high on the trashy scale as La Vie En Rose is), including a pair of these funky Brazilian shorts or whatever they’re called, which resemble something like this, at least to my quick morning search. Not best worn with essentially freshly-washed jeans, but still nice nonetheless.

I was supposed to borrow the car to drive out to the backwoods to meet up with JJ, N and S, but once I started doing the math on the travel time involved, I opted not to. Since I’d already agreed to join the marshmallow and his friends for a poker game that night, I felt a bit more obligated to attend that. Which I did, and it was fun.

After not getting much sleep Saturday night, I got up early Sunday and ran around the old stomping grounds, chasing down things for the stupid IKEA curtain rod, for the cats, and so on. I also picked up seasons 3 and 4 of Futurama for me. I get presents, too!

Dad came over and he and the marshmallow went around putting up various things in my apartment – a shelf, pictures, a clock, etc. – and I washed my dishes. Exciting, but necessary. :) Afterwards, it was off to the station and the evening of crazy that was to ensue. Gah.

Where to start? I actually made a list so that I could make sure I remembered it all. One sec...

Let’s see, during the last fifteen minutes or so of the first show, I had a guy call in who didn’t want to go on air, but did want to complain about the “unchristian” language that was being used on the show, with people using the Lord’s name in vain – and because I’m already going to Hell and I’m a terrible person, I just wanted to say, “Jesus Christ!” I mentioned it to my newsreader, and she started laughing and saying things like, “Goddammit, what the *Hell* is going on!” and so on. At least I’ll have good company in Hell.

Ummm, what else? Well, at one point I went out to see if there was water in the newsroom, and JP, the later newscaster (male) was out there, and said something like, “Oh, and don’t let me tell you about *Jen*...” so I geared up a fake kidney punch, but accidentally clipped his elbow on the way. I must’ve got him just right, ‘cause then his arm went numb, and there was much cursing and swearing on his part. I felt kinda bad, but then the first newscaster started laughing, so then we started making fun of him instead.

From there, there was David, who called in to discuss gay marriage, but whose call ranged from, and I shit you not:

* Off-air, with just me: saying that it was new voice on the phone, I said that no, it’s always me Sunday nights. He said that usually it was guys who answer, and I said that not during this shift, since I’d been doing it for four years. I moved on to asking, “can I get your name?” he countered with: “what’s yours?” I answered, “Jen.” He said, “Oh, Jen (last name)?” I said no. He left a big pause, then, “Jen who?” I said, “Jen who produces this show.” He said, “what’s your last name?” I said, “I’m not giving you my last name,” then finally got his damn info so I could put him on hold.
* Talking about how he used to breed rats, and how he was trying to remember if he’d ever seen any of the guys go after the other guys, and couldn’t think of a time, but that he always knew when the guys went after the girls... ‘cause what, his rats only ever had sex in front of him?
* Then he moved on to how he thinks that if men want to parade around in pantyhose and high heels, they should, ‘cause he thinks society would be more accepting of that, but probably not of gay marriage. He kept bringing up cross-dressing, so newsreader and I are convinced he himself is a cross-dresser.
* Then, he said how, if he sees a woman with a ring, and he looks at her face and she’s beautiful, and she’s wearing a ring, he considers her an “untouchable,” and that she’s off-limits. Not that that means that she’s the guy’s property, or that he’s hers, but that ring means she’s not available.

I shit you not, that was his conversation. It made my brain hurt.

Then, to top the night off just right, our most infamous crazy started calling. He called, I told him he wasn’t allowed on air, he hung up on me. He called back a bit later, called me an idiot, I hung up on him. He called back again, I hung up on him – did that twice more, I think. He called again, told me that I wasn’t an idiot, I was a fucking idiot, and here’s where I just gave up and said, “Fuck you, (name),” and hung up on him. First time I’ve said that to a caller. Apparently that just sent him into hysterics and he called security and so on – and I had my suspicions confirmed that he does in fact seem to target me more than others. Yay.

*sigh* Then it was home and bedtime, more or less. Not enough sleep, but story of my life. At least there wasn’t any cat pee on the bed in the morning, though she did pee sometime on Sunday. Yay. :P Ah well, she has a new litterbox now, and new litter, and me frustrated.... we’ll see how well this works.