Jen's Guide to Going Down on Girls

You asked for it, you assumed that I had the knowledge and so on... here it is.

This is going to be totally free-flowing, 'cause I haven't really sat down and devoted myself to thinking this out too thoroughly, but hey, I think I've figured out by now what I do and don't like. :)

So, this is the warning space for some of you -- there ain't no way to do this without getting personal, and since a few of my readers have stepped up to the plate and bared it all (so to speak), I'll do the same. If you don't to read that, well, go here. :)

I'm also going to end my prefacing with stating that I'm only speaking for myself, here. I'm not about to claim I'm some Cosmo or Maxim magazine article that purpots to put forth a 'one-size fits all' guide to oral sex. Nuh uh. What works on me will not work on her, or her, and may not even work on me tomorrow. Women and their parts are frequently fickle and sometimes it seems like mine are even more so. :)

So here we go.

The biggest tip I can give anyone is to be careful of the pressure they use. My clit is not an on button; pressing on it will not get me off, and pressing on it harder won't work, either.

You have an alternative to just pressing down -- it's called friction. Boys like it, girls often like it, too. Some girls produce enough lubrication that you can get away with just your finger on her clit; I don't. Lube is your friend, as is saliva or girl lubrications. Fear none of these, make good use of them.

Girls usually take longer to warm up than do guys. Regardless of how much someone might be humping your leg, start out lightly. If she wants more, she'll let you know -- either by arching into your finger, grabbing your hand, or telling you.

But, you wanted talk of good head. Similar ideas.

If you don't know where a clit is, use google, check out some medical tomes, ask some female friends, ask your lady. Girl parts are all tucked inside each other, and some girls have small clits, and some girls have big clits. We're like guys like that.

So, some clits are more hidden than others. Some girls don't mind if you pull back carefully on the hood or on the mons and labial lips to expose the clit more. Sure, you're no longer using just your mouth, but hey -- your odds of getting something good just increased.

Alternately, she can pull back on the skin -- she knows how hard she can tug, and this way she still has use of her hands.

Take your time. Teasing is insanely hot. Having someone quivering beneath you, shaking and begging for your touch -- who *doesn't* find that sexy?! Just because you're in a hurry to touch her parts doesn't mean that you have to rush. Play it cool.

Kiss her thighs. Maybe give 'em a little nip. Breath hot air on her crotch, through her underwear (if you haven't yet taken them off), or just directly on her skin if you have. If she still has her underwear on, trace one finger along her lips very very lightly. Lots of nerve endings here that haven't really seen any attention yet -- a move like that is a big tease, and very promising.

Once you have her underwear off, take your time kissing and lightly licking around her bikini parts. Kiss her hip bones, lick the seam between her thigh and torso, kiss and lick her inner thighs, stroke her legs with your hands. Breathe hot air onto her, and if she has pubic hair, don't be afraid to run your fingers through it or tug it lightly, or just run your fingers across the very ends of it; small moves can do an awful lot.

When you actually do get down to her parts, don't be afraid to use your tongue. Tongues are meant to be used, in kissing, in petting/groping, and especially in oral sex. Some girls like to have broad swipes with a wide tongue, like you're licking an ice cream cone -- not I. I like the very tip of the tongue, creating light friction, similar to using a finger. I find the wide tongue just doesn't provide enough stimulation in the right spots.

Similarly, getting your mouth in close and sucking or whatever you're doing down there isn't always a good idea -- I find it hits the nerves in bad ways, and most of you seem to suck too hard and I wind up feeling like teeth are getting in there in a bad way. Consider that one a move you can do briefly every now and then, or don't do it at all unless it's requested.

But it's not just the clit that can be stimulated, especially if you haven't really touched her yet. Lick the very edges of her inner lips (the inner labia, if you prefer the technical term), and tease them. Lick down to her entrance (yargh, so few good words for what I'm trying to describe), and tease around there with your tongue a bit.

A word on tongue-fucking? Some girls like it (apparently). Personally, I find it a waste of time; your tongue is not going to ever be anywhere near as effective as your fingers or dick, and I just feel very stupid when someone's trying it. If it really makes you hot, go ahead and do it, but don't spend a great deal of time trying it, unless you know she's for it.

Once you've settled into a really good rhythm that she seems to be enjoying, you can introduce fingers into the mix. Once again, I'm speaking for myself here, but I don't enjoy being finger-fucked. I find it ineffective, awkward, violent, and often it just gets painful. Try having someone slamming their knuckles into your ass bones a few dozen times, and then we'll talk.

I am a big fan of the single middle finger (usually the longest one), and of two different things. One, I absolutely *adore* having someone teasing me by sliding their finger 1-2, maybe 2 1/2 inches deep and moving it slowly as they're going down on me (hopefully effectively). That feels incredible.

Alternately, I also love having my g-spot played with. I'm confusing to figure out; most stimulation I like fairly light on my more sensitive parts, but when it comes to my g-spot, well, you'd best have strong fingers. I like *very* firm pressure, and it seems to be the ol' "come here" motion that works well. Sometimes the circling motion gets a positive reaction, too.

G-spots can be played with very easily without finger-fucking. This is a very important lesson to learn. I have now learned it to you.

You can also press down moderately firmly on the abdomen, just above the mons (where the pubic hair stops growing) as you play with the g-spot; this can make the play easier.

If you've been waiting for me to explain where the g-spot is... it's anywhere from 1 1/2 - 3 inches in, usually just past the pubic bone (that thing that hurts when you hit it wrong, another reason I'm not a fan of finger-fucking). It starts out about the size of a dime, and feels different than the tissue around it. When you stimulate it, it grows in size and gets easier to locate (I believe). It can lead to the girl feeling as though she has to pee, because you are stimulating an area near her bladder, but either lay down towels/plastic sheets and tell her not to worry, or have her go to the bathroom and continue when she returns. I've had a *lot* of g-spot orgasms (fortunately for me, once I've had one, the next dozen or so follow fairly closely -- and loudly -- behind), and I've *never* peed during 'em.

I've had Carl's comments open while I've been writing this, and it's reminded me of a few things I wanted to add that don't really fit into the narrative I've established so far.

If you're finding the angle tough on your neck, stuff some pillows under her hips, have her sit on a couch or chair and you sit on a floor, have her throw her legs over your shoulders while you hunker down -- whatever works. Play with it, make jokes about it, whatever. Just remember, if she's a tough one to get off (as is yours truly), then the more she has to concentrate on holding herself up or keeping her legs just so, the harder it's going to be for her to bless your efforts with screams of delight. I'm not a fan of having my legs slung over someone's shoulder, or of having them dangling off the side of a bed, but that's me. Your lady will vary. :)

As Carl said, be sparing with the eye contact. Don't be offended if she's not watching you the whole time; I find there isn't much to see, and I don't get a whole lot out of the visual anyhow.

Don't feel obligated to be making all kinds of noise. If you want to, go ahead, but at least as far as I'm concerned, they don't do much.

If the moment is spontaneous and it's near the end of the day, remember that your lady might not be as fresh as she would've been straight from the shower that morning. Once she's into the moment, things will change, or so I've been told, but if you're concerned or whatnot, then a shower isn't a bad thing to suggest -- and she might actually be grateful to you for making the suggestion, especially if she's been feeling grungy.

Read your lady's body language, especially if she's not the noisy type. Arching into your mouth, holding your head, squeezing your hands, grabbing the pillow or sheets, all of these are good signs. If she's inching away from you, or her hips keep jerking, you might be too rough, or you're hitting a nerve in a weird way. Don't be afraid to ask -- sometimes we won't volunteer the information, but we'll answer the question if you put it to us (no pun intended). If she seems to be making small adjustments in any direction -- up, down, left, right, upside down -- she might be trying to get you to redirect your attention somewhere different. This doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong, just that she'd like you to move towards or away from something.

Overall, having a good sense of humour, enjoying yourself and what you're doing are good things to keep in mind. My final tip to give works in two ways though: First, don't give up quickly -- either during that session, or overall. Some women take awhile, and some don't get off at all from oral sex, but that doesn't mean it feels bad or that we're not having fun. Sometimes we just have to get used to your technique, or refine it. ;) Secondly, don't get down on yourself or on her if you don't get her off the first time, or for a few times. Sometimes we just have to get used to your technique, or refine it. ;) Plus, think of how good you'd feel if we put a tonne of pressure on you to get it up when you couldn't, or to get off when you couldn't. We feel the same way.

So, did I miss anything?