I'm tired. My stomach doesn't feel good. I'm bored. I'm stressed. I don't want to be here. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what I want to happen. I feel numb. I feel confused. I feel ... confused.

I read once that always wanting to sleep when something bad is going on is a sign of depression (paraphrasing). Last night, today... I want to go to sleep. I also want to get together with people and discuss, but the two people who come to mind first have other things going on tonight, and tomorrow is right out.

It's somewhat ironic that, by keeping some things inside so as not to needlessly hurt someone, you a) get accused of/thought of as having no feelings, and b) sometimes wind up hurting them more. You think I might've learned this lesson already, but no, I keep hoping that one day, it'll be for the better.

Well, there are a few things I've kept to myself that have protected people, for lack of a better word, but...

I want to go to bed.

No comments: