2009/02/01

Today I was hanging out with a girlfriend of mine, and she was asking me questions about my experiences with BDSM. I was describing some of the things I'd tried, and we started talking about our shared interests in certain pseudo-fetish gear wear -- leather bracelets and the like. I mentioned one item that I find to be significantly arousing, and suddenly, bam -- rush of heat between the legs. It's been so long since I've felt that I almost mentioned it, but wasn't sure she'd care to know.

It's going to be ... interesting being back off the pill.

I find it both amusing and frustrating that some people in my life have a hard time dealing with me as a sexual being, and it makes me wonder sometimes about their own sex life. I'm hardly pushing my sexual activities in others' faces, even when I was single, but yes, I am fairly open with my thoughts and experiences while online (re: the Whore's Boudoir. I certainly don't force anyone to read it, but I appreciate those who do -- especially when I hear back from people that I have echoed their thoughts or experiences in my writings. I think talking and musing about sex is a healthy thing to do, but I don't force anyone to do it with me.

I mean, I'm 28 years old. Certainly there are those with more experience than me in the world, and there are those with less. I've turned to many of my friends for advice on sexual matters, and I've had friends do the same to me. I like being able to provide advice or even simply a sympathetic ear. It's good to hear someone else say, "Yeah, I've had that happen, too" because it makes you feel like less of a loner and can lead to guidance as to how to cope.

So I can't help but wonder sometimes about people who have a difficult time talking about sex, whether it's with their friends or in general. Are they able to communicate effectively with their partner? Is their partner having a good time in bed? Are they?

I find it helpful to be open about my interests. It presents an easy opportunity for someone else to say whether or not they like the same thing, or elements of it. It provides for conversation topics (re: earlier this evening). And it lets people think of me as a freak if they're so inclined. But being open about things means that people will ask you questions or seek advice they may not feel comfortable going elsewhere to learn. That's a pretty nice feeling all around.

2 comments:

Phil said...

Off the pill, eh? Gonna get yourself pregnant so he won't leave?

Jen said...

Out of all that, that's what you chose to follow up on?

First, thanks for the vote of confidence.

Second, no, not at all looking to get pregnant - I've successfully avoided doing so for many years, I have confidence that my drying-up ovaries can continue to avoid the evil sperms.

Third, not that it's important, but I wanted to go off the pill to reduce my migraines again, and to see if the pill was contributing to my weight gain.