I spent a nice, lazy day today lying on the couch with a friend, after doing a bit of browsing downtown. We watched Evolution for its brainlessness, and then various televison shows (which ended up being Simpsons, That 70s Show, then more Simpsons) for their sheer entertainment value. I had to leave because he was playing chauffeur and had family responsibilities, and I had work, but it was a very lovely way to spend an afternoon.

This friend and I have appeared to have mastered the lazy times. We've spent other afternoons on the couch, just lazing and not thinking, with perhaps a bit of sleeping and eating or gaming thrown in for variety. We've also spent several hours lying on the roof of his car, star-gazing, one memorable summer evening that was the absolute perfect temperature. Oh, that was a wonderful time. It seems as if it's the only time I can completely shut my head off and not think and just mellow out and not worry about things I should be doing instead.

I need downtime. I work too much, I have school, I have reading that I have to do that I haven't really been able to start. I should have been doing that today, but I took the break instead. I deserve it.

This friend and I hooked a girlfriend of mine up with his roommate. It's great for them, they're really happy together, but it's meant that I can't talk to her anymore without her talking about her boyfriend, and dissecting everything he does or says when it's stupid, and gushing over everything he says when it's sweet. I'm happy for her, but at the same time she and I had just started to hit it off, and now time for her and I to get to know one another has been pre-empted by all this boy stuff. And neither of us are 'girly' girls, so it's something we make fun of ourselves for doing... but it still happens. And all of a sudden I feel pushed out... I really got that feeling today, which is probably completely unfair because we all had places to be, and it's not like I didn't have somewhere to be, myself.

I don't know... it's stupid because of my actual situation, but I can't help but feel somewhat unwanted right now, which is completely ridiculous, because right now I'm dealing with two different people that want to be in serious relationships with me, another one who wants me but doesn't want me (confusing, don't ask), and a few people who'd love to just be casually involved with me. I shouldn't complain... but I think I just want some friends right now, and they feel gone... although my 'boss' is getting more buddy-ish with me, and that's nice. She's a different nut to get to know, but I think we can be good friends, if I can get past the 'boss' aspect of things. :)

I think that's enough for today. :)

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