2002/02/21

Wow. Load off my mind. Had coffee/juice with the pizza guy at Timmy's today. It went a lot better than I thought it would. If nothing else, I think we'll be able to stay friends.

We've agreed to not talk for a week and re-evaluate after that point. I said initially that I think it would be best if he and I were just friends, 'cause I need to get my head sorted out. I need to get back into the place where I'm not constantly thinking of the ex- and wishing and hoping and other Ani DiFranco songs.

I need to get back to my happy place, as I put it.

Now, if only there was a happy medium with the coworker as well... we'll see how that goes.

Hopefully soon my manifesto will appear here. I want to do things with my life and myself, and I want them to happen soon. I want to lose weight, I want to get ahead in my career, I want to get my own place, and I want to either be single for awhile or be in a solid relationship with you-know-who. I think being single for awhile would be good for my mental sanity. I have been in relationships for the last 8 years without a break, and since I lost my virginity, the longest I've gone without having sex was about 4 months, and that's simply because the guy I was with wanted to wait. I need some celibate time, I think. Especially to heal. :)

Anyhow, back to the grind. I do feel somewhat relieved. I'm tempted to tell the ex- I can't talk to him for awhile, but I'll see how long this more relieved feeling continues and then go from there. It probably would be better for me emotionally to not talk to him, but at the same time, I don't to cut myself off like that because I'm scared he'll forget about me. *sigh* I need my happy place. :P

I'm thinking of dyeing my hair red... I just need to find a dye that won't turn orange when it encounters the blonde dye already in my hair. :)

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