2002/05/19

I'm just stupid in the head, I think. Just stupid in the head. I'd finally reached my decision, just gotta actually talk to the people involved, and made some minor allusions to it, and it seems the pizza guy isn't willing. If that's the case, after a more spelled-out conversation, then I'll just be single and enjoy it. I know that's what my boss/friend feels I should do. :)

The ex- is in town... he's being snuggly and cuddly and I'm letting it happen, but I'm holding myself kinda back from it. For some reason just now, I feel like crying. No reason behind it, just happened. I don't know... it just feels like I could fall into it so easily, but I'm trying not to. I'm still bothered by the idea of his ex- and the fact that they're still in touch... Maybe that's what's bringing on this emotional feeling. *sigh*

I don't know. I keep looking at the type of kiss I am, and it boils down to what I said awhile ago... I want to be able to be sweet and caring with someone, but I'm so busy either protecting myself or being angry/frustrated that I just can't be that person. That, and few people would be willing to say I was innocent. Naive, sure. Innocent? No.

*sigh* And I'm horny. Ah well... not desperately so, and not "I need to get fucked" so, but it exists.

I wish I could get away for awhile. I might take a week off from work and just hermit as much as I can (minus school and yoga, which I enjoy). I want to get some yoga equipment, including a tape or two, and get into that habit. Soon enough I'll break out the pilates tape and get back to doing that. So I say, that is. *sigh*

No comments: