So, went to the club opening last night, and I'm glad I did. We had free drinks all night! Wow. That was great. We all took advantage of it, too; I picked up a bunch of shots for us at one point, just 'cause I didn't have to pay for them. I like doing shots, but they're usually kinda expensive -- like, $4.25 for a shot when $4.50 gets you a full drink. The place wasn't packed; a medium-sized crowd, and it was a good thing; I don't like when places are too full. I feel pretty okay today... a little queasy, but nothing too major. I'm also mixing being slightly hungover with the first day of my period, so that's not the greatest mix, but I'll survive.

Security guard at work was kinda bugging me yesterday. He's always been pretty friendly towards me, and is like that with lots of girls (I've been told), so I don't put any stock into it. I'm not interested in him at all, so if he were to have said anything to me, I'd have said no thank you. Then I found out he has a girlfriend, which surprised the hell out of me (and many others), since he really doesn't act as if he has one. Apparently he and the jerk security guard have the girls at the ice cream hut freaked out, 'cause he's always going over there and asking if they want to be walked home. I'm not sure why the jerk has them scared, but I can certainly speculate.

So yesterday I was wearing my ass pants and a red sleeveless top for work and class, and then I changed into a sheer flowered top with a little tank thingy underneath. Both tops are kinda boob tops; the first one is snug and the second one has a low neckline. Didn't do anything special otherwise; I'd done my makeup that morning, my hair I just brushed, and I brushed my teeth. It was me, but with contacts (which I'd worn all day), and a new top. Anyhow, I went downstairs to the front desk to keep an eye out for Ben, because I'd never gotten the chance to really tell him where work was 'cause his phone kept dying. When I went downstairs, there were three security guards sitting at the front desk; one who's a good friend of mine, one who's engaged (and close to my age), and one who has a girlfriend (the one mentioned above). The two that have significant others were oohing and ahhing over the way I looked, and I wasn't trying to show off; I had my jacket somewhat in front of me and my head down. I went over to the phone to try to call Ben again, and J, the security guard with the girlfriend, said, "You're right, she must be wearing her whore underwear." WTF? First of all, you're not a close enough friend to me to be joking about my underwear; second of all, that's a highly inappropriate comment for someone with a girlfriend (in my opinion), and third of all, you're not going to see what's under my pants, so don't be speculating out loud about it. *grr* I tossed it off with a comment like, "Yeah, of course I am. So what?" or something, and just didn't really say anything else to him. Maybe next time I'll just give him a dirty look and see what that says.

He was standing behind me the other day and the coworker was standing in front of me, and J put his hands on my sides or something, and I tensed up and brought my arms up in a boxer pose, which is kinda normal for me. It's me being ready to break away if someone starts to tickle me or pinch me or something. And it's me being uncomfortable with him touching me, which he doesn't seem to notice/realize. He commented on how I always tense up when people touch me, and to some extent, it's true; I tense up when people I'm uncomfortable with touch me. :P :)

Ah, bugger. I keep getting dragged back into this whole thing with the ex-. Everytime I think I'm okay... something happens and just makes me sick and upset all over again. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I need to get going on my day. I gotta get a good chunk of my work done on our part of the project, since I'm working until midnight tomorrow and doubt I'll get any real work done then. That means getting showered and dressed and heading downtown. If I ever finish this conversation with him, which I doubt. I'll likely wind up walking away from it if I can. Which I want to now. Fuck.

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