And so, with the moving out of the fish, thus ends Chapter 6 of my life.

I've decided on another period of celibacy. I'm too tired to play the game for awhile, and I'm not really into casual fucking. I think it's fine for some people, and at times it's been kinda okay for me, but I've realized after a round or two of it that I just prefer the relationship. With a boyfriend, you have a more likely chance of getting cuddled when you want it than with a fuck friend. Or maybe I've just picked the wrong fuck friends, who knows?

Anyhow, what are we at now? My calendar is still on June, that's sad. I missed out on King Penguin month and Magellan penguin month, both cute. This month is the King Penguin colony though, so that's all good. Today's (kinda) the 9th... so it's been over two weeks, anyhow. At least I have a good running start. :P No matter, things are clearer when we're celibate, as I discovered last time. I'll be fine. Possibly grumpy, but fine. :)

Being thrown back in sucks, though. I thought I could stop playing the game for awhile, but now here I am, right back at it, if I so desire. I'm not sure. Part of me wants to wait, part of me wants to just go out and see what I can rustle up, and part of me doesn't want to do anything (which will probably just about amount to waiting). It wasn't as awkward as I thought being there to get the fish. Maybe because I'd decided ahead of time to not be weird about it, or maybe because we were chatting earlier. Maybe I'm not as everything as I thought I was. I wish I could just crack open my head and read everything written there in fine print, and just have it all explained to me. At least, how I feel on the matter. Maybe it's just because my moods and emotions have been going up and down the last few days anyhow -- I was just in a mellow/accepting mood this evening, compared to this afternoon's semi-weepy mood that I had while we were on the phone. Maybe I'm just wanting what everyone else seems to have, instead of the person himself? I don't think so. I don't think I could be(feel) what I was(am feeling) if that were the case. I don't think I'm quite that screwed up. Maybe close, though.

Argh, argh, argh, argh. No more serious relationships. I'm tired of the game and I'm only 22. Somehow I doubt this attitude will help me find Mr. Right, unless I pick from my past (I'm still thinking in syllables, after joining a haiku war), and frankly, that's not gonna happen. *sigh* I give up. Are there any convents or nunneries for non-religious people?

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