He also said at one point something along the lines of, "Maybe when things are better (for him), things can happen for us". I hate phrases like that, because then the little part of me that never believes anything good is over has hope. And it thrives on hope, and can find hope in the dumbest little places. I guess I'm just kinda shell-shocked because things were good and so damn short, and I'm going, "What do you mean, it's over? Like, for good?" And Jay keeps saying things that are telling me that yes, it is, Virginia, and btw, there's no Santa Claus, either.

A Jay quote: "You know what? The more I read of your site, and the little tidbits you post everywhere, the more frustrated I get.
I think, fundamentally, you're an extremely easy girl to please. You require some attention, some TLC, a little water and sunlight, and you're as happy as a pig in a pen.
And somehow, you never quite get it."

I thought I had it. But ... bah. Self-pity, all around! God, I fuck myself up when it comes to relationships. I wish I was tiny, thin, blonde, and dumb as a fucking post. Then I wouldn't be analyzing everything and wondering what I could do to change things or make them better. Maybe it just wasn't as good a relationship for him as I felt it was for me, and he just wants out and not back in ever again. Been there before, I should be able to deal with this and accept it.

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