I want to stop thinking and feeling and just dismiss everything. I need my walls again. I need to be back in my stupid little fortress of non-feeling, where I can't get hurt. I can live without sex, it's not the highest of priorities to me (in spite of this blog being like, 85% devoted to the topic :)... it's the cuddling, the feeling, the little tender touches and kisses that I miss. I want someone who'll press a soft kiss to my neck when we're cuddling, just because my neck is there and looks good, and because it makes me shiver or make a contented noise or arch my neck to receive more. I want someone who'll hold my hand in public. I want someone who'll rub my back when I'm there, or just put their hand on or their arm around my waist so I can feel comforted and warm and held. I want someone who'll slow dance with me to a nice song on the radio, in the privacy of their own home or mine. I want someone who'll take the time to befriend my cats -- both of them, not just Shadow 'cause she's the slutty younger one. I want someone who'll touch my hair when they're kissing me, or wrap their arms around me to hold me close. I want someone who'll hug me for no good reason, just because I'm there and give nice hugs. I want someone who'll go down on me because they enjoy it, not just because I might happen to expect it. I want someone who treats me in the bedroom the same way I treat them; with respect, with caring, with tenderness, and sometimes with roughness and ravaging. I want someone who wants to give me pleasure and not always receive, the same way that I am. I want someone who'll accept all these same things from me and come up with others I can't even think of.

I want someone who'll wrap me tight in their arms when we cuddle on the couch. I want someone who'll spoon with me for a bit before we fall asleep. I want someone who's comfortable hanging around with me naked, especially after sex. I want someone who looks me in the eyes and kisses me when they say they love me, and I want someone who loves me. I want to love someone back. I want to find my perfect relationship and go with it. I want my life to move forward with that perfect person.

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