Hello, wicked ass mood swings. It's gonna be a fun week, ladies and gentlemen!

Driving home from the movie this evening, I felt like doing anything but going straight home. I wanted to spend time with a friend or two, and it was then that I realized just how few of my friends live in the city. Especially friends that I can call up and just hang out with for an hour or two until I felt better, without necessarily talking about what was upsetting me.

It's a very lonely feeling, having plenty of friends and so few of them nearby. I wish I had set crew of people, like on Sex and the City or something. A best friend or a group of friends that I could call up and get together whenever there was something going on.

Anyhow, I think that blue mood has passed for now. I think the crying was cathartic, so we'll see how long that lasts.

In a blast from the past... I'm going through files on my computer and seeing what I could clean out. Here's something I found that I wrote long before this started. I think I figured I'd host it off our home mail server, and it just never went anywhere:

"March 7, 2001. 8:20 p.m.

Well, I’ve decided to jump on the bandwagon that my friends have started rolling, at least for now. I’ll see what I can do about starting an online journal, and let people into the horrible little recesses and nooks and crannies that are my head and psyche (sorry about the language, I’m in paper-writing mode).

The latest frustration in my life involves my parents. You’d think I’d be out of the teenage rebellion/frustration phase, wouldn’t you? Mind you, I never really rebelled, so maybe that’s what this is now. I want to have a social life, so I go out of the house. Now, when I hang out with certain people who drive me home, I don’t always get home until a decent hour, which causes my parents anger, since they’d be happier if I spent more time on school. Dammit. My classes this semester are boring, and do not interest me much, so after working and going to classes and having little to no time to myself, the last thing I want to do is come home and reading Organizations Theories or read about Marxism in the media or other crap like that.

Whatever. I just finished one of the papers, and it’s probably crappy and I don’t care. Now there’s only two left. *sigh*

What else? I’m in a weird place right now relationship-wise, and I don’t know what to think anymore and I almost don’t care. The coworker told me on Monday that he likes me, and we had lunch today, and that was fine. He knows that I’m not looking for commitment, just fun, and that didn’t seem to send him running off, so I guess I shouldn’t worry. I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, going out for dates with someone who may be more into me than I am into him, but I like his company and he’s a good person, so I guess as long as I don’t lie to him or let things get out of hand, it’s all good.

I think that’s all I feel like writing right now. We’ll see what happens later."

Funny how things look in hindsight, now? I don't even remember this lunch he and I had together, but that was an awfully long time ago, emotion-wise and everything else wise. Eeesh. He's a good person... *laugh* Okay, not fair. :)

So, going to go see if I can get the computer from Dad to watch some more shows, or perhaps have a quick shower to warm up. I hate the fall and winter seasons -- I'm always cold.

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