Lots of thoughts, lots of thoughts. Hrm.

Had a dream last night about this guy friend of D's that I met on my birthday, and then again on another evening, when I was sober. Had a dream last night that we hooked up and did a bit of fooling around and it was feeling really awesome and then there was confusion and upset and I walked away and I woke up and couldn't get back to it. I remember what the confusion and upset was... he saw hickies on my neck and thought I was cheating on a boyfriend or something, and when I asked him what he wanted from me I decided that he just wanted a quick lay or something and we had the argument in a car on the way to work (we were making out in the car), and I got out and all of a sudden he was in a wheelchair and I walked to work and he never followed.

Most of the time, when I dream about someone, they don't look as they do in real life, but I know who they're meant to be. In this case, he did look like himself.

I think I solidified any minor crush I may have had on him based on a dream that I had. Very strangeness. :)

Spoke with Charmaine last night and told her bits of what Vicki and I were saying last Sunday night. I feel like a little matchmaker, and it's all fun and good. But for those that might get the wrong impression, not a matchmaker; just trying to set up two people who could be awesome friends but have too much back history and confusion because of stuff that happened when they first met, but now... well, we'll see. I hope I've helped and not screwed anything up.

She and I were talking about the coworker, she said that J, the (ex-)security guard who hates me has been his roommate for the last bunch of months is apparently getting fed up with him. I laugh. J is finding out how needy and clingy and smothering the coworker can be, and that's just from a friend perspective. According to Charmaine, he tells J that he goes out too much, drinks too much, etc., but when he gets invited out, doesn't go out. I said he was probably sitting around emailing/ICQing his gf, who as near as I can tell lives in Calgary. Since that's where he is now for two weeks (well, one week left), some of us (*cough* me) are hoping he might be a more pleasant person after he's gotten laid. ;)

As I said last night, he wants 150% of someone's time 150% of the time, and frankly, I don't want to give that for anyone, and I don't want them to give that for me. It's good to have outside friends, and it's fun to have shared friends. That was one thing I liked about J above my other past bfs; we'd get together with his friends as a couple, and we'd get together with my friends as a couple, and he seemed to enjoy himself with them. Char and I were saying, when you're with someone, you do the plan-comparison, "So, what are you doing tonight/in the mood to do tonight?" "Well, so-and-so and I were talking about getting together." "Oh yeah, that's cool, I was hoping for just a quiet night anyhow, so I'll do this..." or "Cool, so-and-so's been wanting to go out, I'll see if he/she's busy." That didn't work with the coworker, much as he claimed that he wasn't stopping me from getting together with my friends or whatever. I think in his pointy little head he thinks I was sleeping with all of my male friends. I remember he used to ask me why I didn't hang out with my female friends more often, and partly it's 'cause I don't have many and many of them have their own lives, too. :P I think from now on I'm automatically suspicious of anyone who presses home the fact that he's a nice guy or that he's not stopping me from having outside interests... especially if he whines when I have to do schoolwork or something instead of spending time in his hallowed company. Argh.

I was reading through Philip's site today, kinda neat that he's in Halifax. Hope he's not macking my sister, but what can I do if he is? She's an adult, and hopefully he's not going after 19-year olds. :P

UBFM didn't make it last night, oh darn. We had a pretty small crew, but except for M's gf, we all knew one another from high school, so it was good, comfortable chatting. Saw C, whom I haven't seen since shortly after grad, he's changed a great deal, but his personality seems the same, which is good. It's frustrating when someone makes up their mind in a particular direction and won't change it, even in light of presented facts. Admittedly, me saying such-and-such might not count to them as presented facts, but... argh. He's not a good guy. He's really not.

I was asked the other day, "What's it like being in love?" Scary and good and fun and comforting and heart-warming and devastating. On some level, I think I want that all back. On another level, I'm scared, I'm terrified of getting burned again. I have certain thoughts for the kind of guy I'd like to fall for, but life rarely works out that way.

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