Sorry, lack of concentration this afternoon meant no post. :) Or at least, an incomplete one.

So, trying again. Wore the restraints again today to work, trying to soften them up somewhat. It's funny keeping them hidden under my sleeves, especially since they're somewhat bulky so they don't hide completely.

Explanation for one of the earlier comments: It's not always the sex that makes a relationship hard to get over. Sure, the coworker could get me off, but he was an ass... so he was easy to get over. The ex- couldn't get me off, and it took me forever to get over him. So, it's the person and the relationship, as much as anything else.

I could get involved with another coworker, if I were so inclined. He and I kissed before J and I started dating, and it's funny how things work out. J and I went out on Friday night, then Saturday I went to work. He was having a LAN party and BBQ at his place, and he invited me to stop by and hang out. He came and picked me up from work, and I hung out there until really quite late. It was that night that we kissed for the first time... and for awhile. ;) I say it's funny how things work out 'cause while I was at work, this guy from work (L) and I had been making plans to get together that evening and watch a flick at his place. He wasn't going straight home (and he finished work about 20 minutes before me), so I decided I'd hang out at J's BBQ for an hour or so before I went over to L's. After about two hours or so, I called L and told him I was going to stay at this LAN party.

Here we are, full circle. L and I kissed again on Saturday, while he was finishing work and I was starting. Funny little world. :P

Saturday was fun. It was the November people's birthday celebration, and we went ice skating at a local rink. I skated for about two hours straight, and had a lot of fun doing it; I like skating, and it's been years since I went. After awhile, I was going around tagging people, and at one point one of the guys came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, and he skated, I stumbled along for a feet like that. At another point, he came up behind me and did I don't know, but fwhoomp! Down I went. I laughed though; I basically slid down and onto the ice a few feet, didn't hit anything, didn't get bruised at all. It was funny. :)

As the time wore on, my legs started getting wobbly from the exertion and the fact that I had barely eaten all day, and the ice was starting to get pretty chewed up from all the skating around, so my skates were sticking in places and my legs weren't totally responding. I wanted to skate funky around these pylons that they had on the ice to cover the holes from where the nets go in, and my legs said, "Nope!" So, down I went for the second time. Fwhoomp! That time, however, I did land on my poor, immortal ass (don't ask), and it's a touch tender.

After the skating, we went over to Greg/Mark's place, and I was sitting on the black leather make-out couch with a couple of the guys of the group. I got a bit of a cuddle, then I got a really nice backrub in order to make up for some horrid treatment I'd gotten. ;) Namely, I'd asked N about his trick belt, and he showed me how it could be used in bondage play -- initially by binding both of my wrists to my right leg. Then K and N started trying to tickle me and poke at me. :( So after I kicked them a few times and started working the belt off by myself (I wasn't totally successful), I got a backrub as a way of saying 'sorry.' As many of my friends know, I am a total massage *whore*. You can basically get me to do anything you want by offering a backrub, so long as it's a good one. This one was a good one. :) While I was folded over to offer up my entire back, N started rubbing my scalp lightly. *drool* I had nice time. ;)

I had N turn around so I could return the favour, and he made neat little purring noises while I rubbed his head and ears. That was fun. :) After about an hour and a half of this big love fest, I had to go to work. When I got there, I got asked by a few people if I was drunk, 'cause of how mellow and relaxed I was. :) Also because of how mellow and relaxed I was, and not having seen L for awhile, I was being a bit touchy-feely with him. Afterwards, he followed me into the studio in which I was working, asked me if I was with my boyfriend still, then after I said that we'd been broken up for over two and a half months, he asked me again when we were going to have sex (which he used to ask) and told me I was a fantasy of his, 'cause we'd kissed and he'd wondered "what it would be like." I rubbed his shoulders for a few minutes, while he told me he'd quit smoking. He rubbed my shoulders for a few minutes, then asked for a kiss. We kissed a few times, then he left.

Life is weird. After my shift, I went back to Greg's place and chatted with the people that were still there until about 3:30 or so in the morning. The talk ranged all over, a few more people now know more about me than they probably wanted to ;), but it was good conversation, and I think/hope everyone else enjoyed it. :) I may not excel in matters of current events or electricity (which lead to jokes about me licking strange objects and I don't even really remember how that came about), but when it comes to conversations about sexual matters, or my body, or relationships... I won't shut up. :) *grin* And this evening I've been "accused" of being responsible for a real turn of events in the group; apparently I'm responsible for a slate of non-conservatism, including possibly some distinctly observable changes in some people (*grin* Like K's teasing me last night about the "interesting places my tongue had been" or pushing up my sleeves to show off my cuffs to the room at large -- although S and N already knew I was wearing them -- and then holding my arms above my head), and that a lot of the interpersonal interactions lately had included me.

Which reminds me... Saturday I wasn't able to get the car to transport myself out to the arena where we were skating, so I posted to the list asking if someone could give me a life. S and N emailed the list to offer me a lift, and shortly afterwards J emailed me. Then the next day K called me and Greg called, everyone making sure I had a way to get about. When it came time to leave that morning, N was debating a bit with K over who made more sense to drive me home, seeing as how it was slightly less out of their way than his. Anyhow... J told me when we were going out that everyone liked me, and I've been told of a few people in the group that like or want to get to know me better or whatever. I joke a bit about it in the group, 'cause it's really hard to come out and say (which is why I'm doing it here, where I know a few people for sure will read it), but basically it means a lot when things like that happen -- people going out of their way to pick me up, or call to check that I have a lift. As I've said before on here, I do get really paranoid about the way I am in group interactions: "Do I talk too much? Am I making a joke that's offensive to someone? Am I hurting someone's feelings? Am I being insensitive? Is everyone wishing I'd just shut up?" and I worry about all that crap. Having the coworker and that security guard say that I was self-absorbed really cut deep, and really affected me, even now. Acceptance is really important to me, and I really appreciate and like the fact that I have it. *big hugs to everyone who reads this, as well as everyone else in the group* :)

Today, I am feeling the effects of all the skating exertion. Ergh. I slept in very late (since it was a huge sleep debt I'd built up), then farted around on the computer. I got a mic set up, though, so I can chat to people in real time through Yahoo Messenger and various other programs that utilize mic abilities. Played around with that a bit with S and N, and their webcam, and Mark, who is racing out tomorrow to buy himself a webcam and mic, so that he doesn't have to be the only one typing while the rest of us are talking. :)

Then I went to work and now I'm up just stupidly too late. Urgh. I have to go to bed soon, I just started writing this and then I wound up in conversations. Good conversations, I like talking to people... it's just really late now, and I have to be up in four hours.

So, I'm going to say my goodnights and try to get some really good, deep sleep. :)

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