Hrm. Got a comment on Whore's Boudoir saying, "You sound like a total slut." I'm debating leaving it or not.

The thing is, it doesn't bother me. I mean, I don't think of myself as a slut. Sure, I've had more experience than some, but much less than many. And most of my experience has been within the confines of a relationship, usually long-term.

I was having a conversation about the definition of slut with a friend of mine recently, whereby he kept redoing his definition of slut or whore so that it didn't include me. ;) From a friend, the label is much more hurtful than it would be from a total stranger.

I think I have some ideas for an article out of this, so I'm trying not to elaborate too much, while at the same time leave enough notes for myself to remind me for when I return to it.

See, there's a slight persona that I take on when it comes to the WB. I think I write from a much more worldly or experienced tone there than I might otherwise. WB's been described (by others) as a pseudo-advice column. Therefore, it makes sense to make it seem as if I know what I'm talking about. *grin* Here, you get the details (well, on rare occasions), about what I've learned and how. Here, you get the agony that is the breakups, the hurt and the suffering that go into the disappointments or the happiness that is the onset or the enduring relationship. You get the questioning, the pondering, the (over-)analyzing.

There, you get the flippant side. You get the side who appreciates the sexual side of things and doesn't mind discussing it, tongue-in-cheek. Sure, that's part of who I am, and I'll do the same thing in in-person conversations, but I'm not going to laugh at honest conversations and such in person, whereas online, I'll laugh at the goofy side of things. If someone wants to have that kind of talk in person, by all means. Hell, Ben and I have done as much, which lead to my spouting, "I'm never going to have sex with you. There wouldn't be any sex -- it would just be all weird!" or words to that effect, which he found hilarious.

Maybe some of my friends think I'm a slut. I would say that those are the ones that don't look past my words to see the actions underneath, or even the heart underneath, that gets hurt and bruised, and stays protected. That's the heart that learned that for me, personally, sex is best when it's with someone I care about... and my definition of "care" isn't exactly a loose one, either.

So, maybe my words online brand me a slut. Why, because I can laugh at hardons when they belong to someone I care about and am involved with? Or maybe it's because I've kissed a fair number of people, and can identify what I do or don't like when it comes to kissing. Or, wait, I know it -- 'cause condoms make me think of sex. Or 'cause I like sex. That one must be it.

Heaven forbid a girl like sex (or be able to talk about it with turning all blushing virgin bride). Whatever is the world coming to?! Next, men will be doing housework! Or worse, staying home to take care of the babies while the womenfolk bring home the bacon!


Sorry, got that sarcasm thing stuck on, it's fixed now.

Anyhow, on WB, I may sound like a slut. But in real life? I'm not. And that's what matters. So, dearest Grant, who likely isn't using his real name or reading this site... eat my ass. With a spoon.



All of this is to say that I think I'll leave the comment up. I could remove it, but why bother? It sparked this lovely post. :)

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