Oh wait, more to say. :)

For the record... this probably doesn't apply to you. If you think it does, it might. But I'm not saying.

Thought the first:

Doesn't the poor me bullshit get old after awhile? Don't you get tired of playing the victim? The world's against me, it's such a big, cold, empty place and no one loves me, no one wants to hold me to their chest and tell me, "There there, everything'll be just fine"... doesn't that get so tired? Have you ever thought that perhaps you bring things on yourself? That maybe, just maybe, people around you are reacting to the asshole or the bitch in you? It's not that you keep meeting the wrong people time after time, it's that you wrong them. You're not the perfect specimen that you think you are -- sure, you manage to trick or confuse people at first, but then they get to know your true nature... and all of a sudden, they don't call anymore. Or they don't hang out with you anymore. Or they just can't be bothered to be nice to you or talk to you or even ask you how your weekend went, because somehow you'll manage to turn that around into another poor me moment when they forget or don't get the chance to ask you next week how your weekend went.

Sometimes people do insensitive things, sometimes people don't realize how much the little things matter, sometimes they little things don't matter so much. Sometimes it's the everything else that should count -- sure, ya fucked up this time around, but next time around, you got it right. When it mattered, when it counted, you were there, and that's what should count. But in your case... well, guess what? It's not been just once that there's been a fuck up, it's been time after time after time. You didn't just piss me off once -- you did it on a regular basis, so that it escalated and compounded, and all of a sudden -- no, not all of a sudden. It was a slow build, maybe I didn't see it, maybe that doesn't matter. It's how it is now, and it's how it's likely going to stay, because with all of your protestations and your wishes, and your "things could be different now," the ultimate problem -- YOU -- hasn't changed. Maybe I've changed, maybe I've grown, and y'know what? I like the me now. But I don't like you. I've gotten to know you, and I've realized that I'm better off without you, because no matter how much you might age, you don't change. You don't grow. You are the same snotass that you started out as, you just had me fooled for a bit. But now, no more. Now my eyes are fully open to my awful situation (to borrow from Gilbert and Sullivan), and I can't be bothered to try to improve it, because I know that you won't. You expect me to do all the work, and that just ain't gonna happen, 'cause no one works that way except you, and that's why it's not worth my time.

I'm so tired of people who can't see that life and relationships are two-way streets. They should never be entirely one-sided, and that goes double for the work that goes into it. It's unfair to everyone involved, and it's a big emotional drain; it leaves you with very little to give to someone else when you find someone that deserves your efforts, especially if you find that person shortly after the big leech that was an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend gets removed.

Sometimes you can't even remove that leech entirely; sometimes they're still a part of your life for some reason or another, and it's really up to you to get rid of them if you can. If you can't... then I don't know what to say. Sometimes that ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend can ruin a current relationship, either by their interference in some manner or another, or by you letting them stay an interference or a part of your life. I've had relationships that I didn't give much to because of exes and I've had relationships that were tanked or somewhat soured by exes. Sometimes it was my fault -- if you can be to blame for your feelings or your inability to move past them -- and sometimes it wasn't. Such is life. But I don't play the victim and always say that "It was so-and-so's fault" ... I acknowledge that I'm to blame, too.

Thought the second:

Well, I thought I had one here, but I think I'm going to save it for a column in the nearish future. Now it's really on to some WCIII and some cat snuggling. It was funny last night; I went to bed with Digger snuggling me, and woke up with Shadow snuggling me. :)

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