New article up on the Whore's Boudoir.

In the meantime, some content I wrote earlier.

The last several days have been an absolute mess of writer's block. I have options ahead of me for writing, but no ideas that seem solid enough.

I think what I need is for something big to happen to either make me really happy or tick me off. Then I'll have a lot to write about. Or maybe not. Hrm. :P

I brought pizza guy's friend the brownies I made, and got a hug for my troubles. He told me to stop by more, and I warned I wouldn't always have brownies, but he said that was fine.

I just spoke to pizza guy, since I haven't seen him in awhile. Kinda funny to be listening to him talking about the ladies he's interested in pursuing or has been pursuing. It's ... different. Mind you, it's nothing like the ex-, who would tell me all about how his gf wasn't doing this or that for him in the relationship (or in the bedroom), and then try to get me to sleep with him. Bah!

Speaking of the ex-, I had a brief conversation with him last night. The stuff with the pizza guys happened Sunday; this conversation took place Monday night. Nothing terribly special, he was just asking about what I'd been up to, how Mark was, etc., etc. Pretty dull conversation, really.

Anyhow, what else? Learning about more work strangeness. It's just all oddities here; sometimes I really think pizza guy has it all figured out -- do your own thing, take no crap, and tell 'em off when they need it. :)

Otherwise, I have my phone call thingy tomorrow morning, so I'm looking forward to that. Here's hoping they have an offer for me, regardless of what my folks think. I'll just point out to 'em, at least it's not the porn store! :)

Urgh. I want to get a bunch of writing done, but I'm not at my own machine, so I feel all weird and iffy about it.

Every time I learn of a friend that has a blog or someone that reads my site leaves their link, I feel obligated to read it, and I like that. At the same time, sometimes I find that some of the blogs I read just seem to be poorly written, or don't engage my interest at all. It's difficult sometimes for me to get into the life of a friend that I haven't seen in years when I don't know the people of whom she speaks, or I don't find that he writes terribly interestingly.

I feel guilty about that, almost; I feel as if I should be fascinated by the minutae that they post, in much the same manner that people appear to be interested in mine. And yet, I'm not. Is it because I don't like this person in real life? Is it because they do write poorly? Is it because I'm just too busy with one thing and another to get really involved in the gripping drama that is their recitation of their actions across the weekend?

But... this is what I write. So, how can I claim to be bored by reading this on others' pages, when I write much the same way?

Mark told me once that a mark (hah!) of my being a good writer was the fact that I could make stories about my cats or fish seem interesting. I wrote awhile back about how my fish were plotting to kill me, and a few friends of mine told me in person or online how they found that hilarious. gord has told me twice that things I wrote were things he needed to hear, or that he needed the laugh I provided. It's good to know that, and I guess it's things like that that people keep reading for; because everyone once in awhile, amongst the exciting tidbits that are my daily minutae, are bits of humour.

Things like my plotting fish, my crazy cats, or my mother that has decided that water is an adequate substitute for chocolate... they're all the funny parts of my life and I like being able to share them. I just wish people would comment more, so I could get a better idea of who my audience happens to be; 250-350 hits a week can't all be from troll bots looking for addresses to spam. :)

I skipped my class this evening and came over to Mark's place to hang out. I wound up spending the evening watching him and his buddy play Zelda, during which I caught a nap. His folks fed us, which I really appreciated, and then it was back downstairs for more gaming fun. Woo.

I was in a weird headspace earlier today, and I couldn't even really define it for myself. It was like... I wanted to be someplace else in my life, but I didn't know where. I was passing all these homes on my way to Mark's place, and I felt like... somehow I was missing out. Like, I should have a home set up already and be someplace further along.

Yet, I'm 22. There's no rush on me to be married or settled or even own a home. Hell, if my income doesn't improve, I will be living at home forever. Who's to say that if I were married and such right now that I'd be happy?

I've dated so few people that I saw as good long-term prospects. That's a comment on both my dating decisions and the guys I meet. That's not to say that I haven't dated some fantastic guys, but they just weren't guys that were necessarily right for me, either period or at that time.

Part of me does want to be married or engaged and settled. But the other part of me realizes that I'm young, I'm at a great place in my life to get out and experience new things and new people, and I shouldn't be rushing into a forever relationship right now. I think basically that to me, marriage represents stability and certainty, which is something I don't necessarily have in the rest of my life. I don't have someone forever right now, I don't have a career path entirely chosen or mapped out, and I don't even have a place to live that isn't under my folks' roof.

I do have a lot of advantages, and I'm not knocking a single one of them. But in the big puzzle that is my life, there's an awful lot of pieces missing or turned around wrong. Mom always told me that when doing a puzzle, I should start with the edge pieces (this is the kind of helpful advice I got growing up; that and "don't assume, 'cause you just make an ass out of you and me" -- no helpful words of wisdom like, "don't date your immature coworker, he'll just turn out to be an asshole" or "your hormones are not the smartest chemicals in your body"), and that's what I'm trying to do now. Job, school, savings... those are the edge pieces. The forever guy and the rest of it? That's the centre, and it comes later.

Hopefully not too much later. I'd still like to have a few good years left in me.

Anyhow, that's my little bit of introspection and philosophy for the evening. I'm going to bed at a decentish hour for once. :)

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