I was going to write an angry, hate-filled entry about a particular person at a particular place of work and various other people who can't accept the way I'm living my life right now.

Then I got tired and depressed and didn't want to write it. I still kinda do, and I still kinda don't.

Basically, everyone's path in life is different. Just because you can't see yourself doing what I'm doing doesn't mean that what I'm doing is inherently wrong, okay? I'm not killing anyone, and I'm not out stepping on babies. It's selfish, it's maybe not the best thing to do right now, but it's honest and it's upfront and it's what I need to do for me.

So maybe I did write the entry. But believe me when I say that this is the toned-down, apathetic version. D got some of the heated, upset, on-the-verge of crying version last night.

To sum up: I'm not a bad person, at least I don't think so. I've been told I'm giving and sweet and warm and kind and various other things that I like to sometimes think are true. I'm just very frustrated at how other people can pick a path and follow it and no one speaks poorly of them, but the minute I do something -- date someone young, someone old, several someones simultaneously, whatever -- I'm a whore, a bitch, a "real stand-up person" (heavy on the sarcasm) and so on. *sigh* Intolerance upsets me.

Maybe if I became a lesbian, then people would accept that. :P Of course, since I 'love the cock,' that probably wouldn't go over so well. And the minute you mention that you're either going to be or are a lesbian, then guys start asking if they can watch. No one asks to see a heterosexual couple have monkey sex together (well, aside from voyeurs), but the minute it's two girls... eesh. Men suck.

So yeah, last night was the "we hate men" evening, hosted by E for A from the bookstore. There were four of us, three female, one male. Our waitress found E entertaining, I think. He kept saying how wonderful she was, 'cause she kept bringing him Coke, and always just as his glass was drained. It was amusing, as was the conversation. We got to talk about men and sex, and touched a bit on work, but mostly just had a really fun evening and such.

At one point, us females went en masse to the washroom. We got down to where they're located, and wonder of wonders, there were three stalls. Perfect! I open the first stall: "Eew, blood!" A opens the second stall, "Gross, shit!" I laugh, "haha, R got the pee stall!" Well, she never said what was in her stall, but she and A flushed their toilets, while I layered some paper down and we all had our piddles.

We went from three stalls, to two sinks, to one working air-dryer. Funny. :)

A left just around eleven, just before we were joined by D and two other girls from work. D and I left about a half hour in, shortly after R left; I was feeling tired and unhappy at that point, and I just wanted to be gone. The conversation on the bus didn't do a whole lot to improve my mood, but I felt better later. I got a nice backrub and we watched some television, then I got my lift home. I'd been really tempted to just bus straight home and go for a walk, but I didn't.

I have an entry in here about confidence that I want to write as well, but I think I'll wait on that. For now... weird things in email and comments on my site. I feel bad that so far there have been two people from Brazilian bloggers who've left comments on the Whore's Boudoir. The last one was really insistent about my going to her site (she said at one point about how she was playing with herself while reading my site -- the fuck?!), and I feel bad, but the fact of the matter is that I speak two languages -- French, and English. I can puzzle out some Italian/Spanish/Portuguese from classes or knowledge of French, but that's it. I could barely even find the link to leave a comment, let alone regularly/appreciate their sites.

Secondly, weird email. That exchange I'll have to post later, 'cause I don't have access to it at home, but ... yeesh. People don't make any sense at all to me.

Anyhow, tonight has Glord and Shawny goodness, with perhaps some E and E thrown in (male E from dating world and female E friend). We shall see.

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