*smacks self* I forgot one key thing. As a follow-up to the Friday night (nearly two weeks ago now) that consisted of me feeling like ass courtesy of my friends... a realization: As a single, sexually-active female who has had some experience with guys and isn't ashamed of it, I represent a threat of sorts. I'm not in a steady relationship, or my boyfriend of choice doesn't stay as such for periods of time that can be measured in years (and as those of you who've followed from the beginning know, that's rarely been my choice). Therefore, I am an unknown, a variable, and "unstable."

Hrm. My brain really has shut off; I had this spelled out much better before. Maybe I need the anger/rant to really be able to articulate it. Anyhow, the short of it: I'm trying to have a long-term relationship. I'd love to have one, with the right person. It's just a matter of finding that right person and having the circumstances be right -- lack of old baggage, lack of other obligations, and so on.