Oh, man, people make me laugh...

From Dear Abby:

DEAR ABBY: I am a strict Catholic who does not believe in "kinky" activities. It was my second date with a seemingly conservative gentleman. Everything was going well, so I felt comfortable holding hands with him -- until he proceeded to stick my pointer-finger in his mouth. We had just come from dinner, so he couldn't possibly have been hungry!
What are your thoughts on this situation? -- SHOCKED IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR SHOCKED: It could have been worse. At least he wasn't a thumb-sucker.

Never do anything you're not comfortable doing. There are men out there who will respect you just the way you are. If he's not for you, fix him up with a nail-biter. They'll think they died and went to heaven.


*gasp* Kinky finger-sucking!?!?! For shame!! Won't someone think of the CHILDREN?!?!

And why the hell would a guy who sucks a woman's finger be happy with a nailbiter? WTF kind of crappy-pun logic is that?