(Toad) I remember my brother's 21st. It was in a university hall and all I remember was eating a lot of asparagus.
(Toad) And speeches about people with briefcases.
(Chris_A) Toad, I think that was possibly a board meeting.
(Toad) It might've been!
(Chris_A) Did you come out with a slice of cake, or documents detailing the fiscal productivity of the 1998 year-end?
(Toad) This joke is now stale.
(NapkinEater) like the cake
(Chris_A) Like the c-- bugger.
(NuttO) Was the cake stale-- FUCK.
(Chris_A) There are no original quips left in this universe, we must recolonise immediately.

(Tim3WorX) somtimes
(Tim3WorX) when i'm naked
(Tim3WorX) and alone
(j4yj0hn) dont finish that sentence

(@i386) NEXT Year, me, skool. pointelss educational films. susicide
(BenZor) Dude
(BenZor) if you spell like that, it isnt pointless.

(timmo) i wonder if gay people are ever like
(timmo) "oh man that is so straight"
(timmo) or
(timmo) "youre so heterosexual"
(Livewire0) "Quit being such a hetero!"
(Livewire0) with the limp wrst flick, of course

This one is so very very very true:
(Tomalak) Trouble is www.bash.org is like porn - you can waste hours.
(Tomalak) There isn't even the finality of an orgasm to tell you when to stop.

I think I've posted this one, but it still amuses me:
(Crappy) tbe
(Crappy) er
(Crappy) the internet is cool
(Crappy) my triumphant statement somewhat dampened by my inability to type "the"

(Lazzay) I'm 14 ^_^
(nem-x) Yes, Lazzay is FOURTEEN, artt..
* Arttemis kills nem
(Arttemis) I can look at the menu, I just can't order, bitch.
(D) You can't even look at the menu.
(Arttemis) Sure I can.
(Arttemis) As long as no one sees me.
(D) You've got to stand outside the restaurant and smoke a cigarette.
(D) Otherwise you'll be arrested for loitering in a school zone.
(Arttemis) stop abusing my metaphor. It's fragile.

* Inferno has joined #Depressed
(Inferno) fuck i hate thos faggots, all walkin down the street together
(Inferno) and holdin hands an shit
(Inferno) its fucken sick
(Inferno) fuck what i wouldnt give for some head right now
(Inferno) i wonder if my flatmate will oblige :)
(nerfBoy) is she hot?
(Inferno) he and yeah he is alright
(Iverson) WTF?! i thought you were homophobic
(Inferno) whats that?
(Iverson) you hate gays..
(Inferno) yeah i do..
(Iverson) you want ur MALE flatmate to give you head..
(Inferno) yeah and? fags only do anal..
(Iverson) im not touching your issues with a 40 foot pole.

(Bruns) I got used to people calling me 'Miss' or 'Maam' on the phone when doing support
(Bruns) then they apologize like crazy after I tell them my name
(Bruns) "Oh, I'm sorry sir. Its just that..."
(Bruns) "...That I sound like a girl. I know. Thanks for reminding me."

* God (lordalmighty@4061ecdd.yphigh01.heaven.5aa6454b.net.hmsk) has joined #ssboards
* God was kicked by Satan (Satan)
(Satan) No.