I feel weird and unsettled under my skin and apparently I sound sad when I speak. I am also rather pms-y, so I don't think that helps. Sometimes I think when people break up, they should move to opposite ends of the earth and not have anything to do with one another. Sometimes that would really help.

Actually, on that note... ran into Greg on my way to work yesterday, then J (the ex-boyfriend) in the mall... after that, Markuk called me in the afternoon from the UK, and I hung out with more zone friends at our leather craft night that evening. It turns out that someone I met through D knows S & N, and was at a leather craft night of theirs just a few nights ago. My circles are ever-smaller, and sometimes that almost makes them feel claustrophobic.

I have a meeting with one of my former profs in an hour, and I still have to email other profs and request their assistance in the grand scheme of writing me letters of recommendation. I'm pretty sure I should have at least two, so here's hoping one other one liked me enough/is willing enough to write me a letter.

Right now boys and people and boys in particular are stressing me out. I'm not coping very well with things right now, and I really need to sit down and think and write. Maybe Thena will let me do that tonight, although what's more likely is that she will find my pen a never-ending source of amusement and will do her best to attack it and steal it from me.

I really hope I can get a competition for my job soon and especially get re-classed. If I'm essentially doing the same or similar work as the girl I replaced, I don't think I should be kept at a lower level. And my boss saw how I rallied when all the legislation crazy was going on, so hopefully he'll be pulling for me on this. I don't know... sometimes it's like he's there for us, sometimes it's like he's not. I can't figure it out.

I told Ben I wanted to run away today. He poo-poohed that and suggested I go away for a weekend instead. Maybe, if I can get someone to agree to look after Thena for a weekend, I'll run away to someplace I haven't been before, someplace that holds no memories for me and holds actual visiting interest for me and I'll have fun. Maybe Mom'll let me steal the car and I can go drive somewhere, on my own, and look around.

I discovered that some of the literature that I've read about working with aggressive cats and kittens does seem to work. This morning, after I slept in, I had a short cuddle with Thena, and rather than wait until she started to get nippy to call an end to things, I ended things while she was still relaxed and purring (although sometimes she tests me during these moments by doing a cautious or protracted bite). This meant that she was still in good spirits for most of the morning, and although she did reach over my shoulder and bite my cheek when I was going to the bathroom (she perches on the back of the toilet, which she accesses by jumping into the tub, running around for awhile, then getting up on the toilet tank. Sometimes I don't know she's done this, as she can do it silently, and all I'll feel is a little paw poking me in the back)... at least, I think she did. She's done it on numerous occasions, so now I've lost track.

Anyhow, she got a little nippy as I left, hanging by her teeth on my arm, but otherwise we had a good, non-evil morning. My plan for tonight is to stay in, maybe rent and watch the Die Hard movies (as I've recently decided I like Bruce Willis) or watch Big Fish and finally get to see how it ends, maybe even get some writing done. I kinda want to hang out with people, but I'm kinda not in the mood. We'll see what happens, I guess.

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