2004/11/02

I was going to write a Whore's Boudoir article about the difficulties of balancing relationships and friendships, and make it a semi-pointed thing geared towards a few friends of mine who seem to forget about the majority of their friends when they wind up in a new relationship and only focus on the bf/gf's friends, or just each other, but I decided that might be somewhat immature and/or passive-aggressive at this point.

I'd been running an experiment of sorts -- trying to see how long it took people to get back in touch with me or call me up and ask me if I wanted to hang out, now that they're in a relationship -- but at this point... I don't know. The friendship is missed, but this end of it is also somewhat peeved, as is at least one other person, when standard plans get changed and only some people are informed of the change.

Granted, I'm sure some people who suggest that I make first contact and so on, but... I don't know. I feel as though a friendship should be two-sided, and it shouldn't always be me having to do the reaching out to others, especially if there doesn't happen to be a return effort. Hell, one of my friends moved in with the new sweetie, and I don't have the new phone number -- or the book I lent this friend, once upon a time -- or any real way to get in touch with the friend, aside from an email address, to which I sent email and never got a reply.

Fuck. Christmas music just turned up on my Launchcast playlist. Christmas rage this early? Well, I did see that Sears had its "holiday" (i.e., Christmas) garland up before Hallowe'en... how long before we just have year-long Christmas? Urgh.

Anyhow... I'm not trying to say that if someone gets in a relationship, they need to spend as much time as they used to with their friends. It's just that, regardless of how perfect things may be/seem, there are still times that you and your SO might want to be apart -- or have to be apart -- and your friends are often more permanent than your SOs are. Hell, look at the guys that have come and gone in my life -- none of them have hung around the 10+ years that some of my friends have.

I think that friendships, like relationships, go in two directions, and sometimes it's the other side that has to make a bit of the effort, too.

Then again, maybe people just no longer want to be my friend, I don't know.

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