A few further notes from the Easter weekend... or just the one in which I rant about stuff.

My mom is on my semi-shit list; she announced at dinner that she found it paid not to get too attached to my boyfriends, because the ones she liked always wound up disappearing.

Side note - this is from the woman that pretty much anyone I introduced her to came away saying, 'Does your mom hate me?'

Anyhow, I asked her who it was she had liked, and she said that she'd always liked J. I pointed out that he had been the one to dump me, Mother, so she'd do well to move on from it.

Also, I decided that I wasn't going to be introducing anyone new to her, because vast portions of the evening were spent with her and my girlfriend E telling the same stupid stories about me as a child.

Like the fact that I used to eat everything. And the fact that I was into everything, whereas you could tell E, "Don't touch!" and leave the room and she'd stay in the same place.

*roll* Not too tiresome at all.

*sigh* I wonder if being back on the pill is making me a little crabbier than usual, or if it's a combination of work stuff (like the new semi-manager type who tells me how to do my job, despite also saying she doesn't know how this place works) and just not enough sleep. I'm just *tired* of her coming along every two hours, asking how this or that is progressing, or telling me to do this or that -- I know how to do my fucking job. I've been doing it for a year. I haven't killed, destroyed or broken anything yet, okay? Don't micromanage me -- I don't need it.

Also, argh.

I can't tell if I need a vacation, or just a total change. But it's really making me long for great success with this upcoming opportunity. 'Cause her style is very very different from my current manager's style, and it's *really* getting my hackles up -- and then she gives me the lines about growing pains, and how no one's really good with change, and how the big boss is going to be bringing in more people, and blah blah blah... then when I try to talk about the situation, she interrupts me to repeat the party lines.

Maybe I'm just cynical, but... gah.

I'm trying not to go into vast amounts of detail here because I'm not even certain how I would go about it. Suffice it to say, I'm worried that I'm into another Nibbs situation here (no, that isn't really supposed to make sense to you), and it's making me mental. I'm once again at the state of mind where I'm spending half of my day looking for other work -- that's how mental I'm being made.

Maybe I should go and talk to the big boss, and just explain to him that while yes, I can deal with new management etc., could he please talk to this current one to get her off my back somewhat -- that I've been in my current role for over a year, and I don't need her telling me to wait an hour or so before following up on the current product that I know is a priority? Especially when her world may consist of only one or two of my things, but my world is more expansive, and includes writers, offices, other requests, and other products?

Although I did manage to tell her today that I need to be the one to handle approvals from start to finish, that if it winds up out of my hands, I don't know what's going on, and I can't track it.

Also, stop marvelling over the fact that we don't have a formal this or that system. We just don't, okay? You've been here two weeks. Move on and deal. I've managed to do so for over a year, and you know what? 99% of the time, I'm doing just fine. Sure, every now and then I brain fart and have to call someone to see if they have it, or if it's further up the chain, but otherwise? 99% of the time, we're just fine.

Sorry, it's been a bad bad bad few weeks. Five days off was not enough, especially not when I stayed in the city and didn't really do much of anything for a few of the days. What I really need is either two weeks on a sunny beach somewhere far away, or a new job.

I emailed the Humane Society today with my resume. So unlikely that anything would come of it, but I've been saying it would be my dream job -- and those aren't likely to just contact me, y'know?

My financial planner said to my parents and to me that I always seem able to land a job. It's true - many of them have just fallen into my lap, in some way or another. Not to say that I haven't landed them based on merit, or anything like that, but that I've been fairly fortunate as far as opportunities and whatnot have gone. I just wish that another one of those opportunities -- and a really good one -- would come along now.

I guess it's a bit like Markuk has said; in your life, you can only really have 1 or 2 of the major 3 things going well at a time. Right now, for me, it's the career part that's kinda sucking.

Not that it wasn't semi-sucked before, what with the lack of stability, benefits, and general wonderfulness, but... blargh. For a long time, I was saying that it was the people that were really serving to keep me here. A lot of those people are gone, or I don't work with them in the same manner anymore. I'm feeling less inclined to stay here because of that. Maybe it's time to put in some calls to that other location, too.

And on another totally different rant...

I had someone today call me from Manitoba, saying they were going through the ICQ lists and found my number and called me -- was that okay? Uh... what the fuck? Who the hell just randomly goes through things like ICQ, sees someone who's female and 24, lives in *another bloody province*, and decides to call? Gah, people are stupid.

Btw, don't bother going to try to find my cell number. I've removed it -- I only had it on there because I thought that only people on my list could read it.

This rant was actually supposed to be something else, related to a conversation that was had at bubble tea Tuesday night. However, since it's sexual in nature and is fleshing itself out nicely into a column (long overdue), it's becoming Whore's Boudoir content.

Oh yeah, that's right -- I haven't forgotten about my baby. I just have no creativity anymore because that spirit is utterly stifled when I'm at work, and then when I'm at home, usually the last thing I want to do is spend more time in front of the computer -- especially since the cats are often looking for my attention, or someone is messaging me online and so on. Now Venus is getting better at leaving me alone (aside from her earlier draping across my right wrist), and Thena's pretty content once she's been fed and/or let outside. Late evenings seem to be pretty decent for everyone. :)

Fuck, it's getting late again. Anyhow, go check out Whore's Boudoir. As always, not my best, but... possibly food for thought. No pun intended.

Calamari for thought?

Yeah, that's a hint to some of you, all right. :P

No comments: