1. Restless tonight/'Cause I've wasted the light
Finger Eleven, One Thing
2. She likes to read/I like tv
Guttermouth, She’s got the look
3. This is how we do it/When we do it/Like we just wanna tear the club up
50 Cent, Have a party
4. I rode my bicycle past your window last night/I rollerskated to your door at daylight
Melanie, Brand New Key
5. Softly now/You owe it to the world/And everyone knows that you're my favourite girl
Francis Dunnery, Good Life
6. Hanging out behind the club on the weekend/Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends
Blink 182, Rock Show
7. Tear the roof off/We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
Parliament Funkadelic, We want the funk
8. I'm a girl and by me that's only great/I am proud that my silhouette is curvy
Flower Drum Song soundtrack, I enjoy being a girl
9. Eyes boring away to me/Paralyse/Controlling completely
This Fire, Franz Ferdinand
10. I can't get to sleep/I think about the implications
Colin Hay, Overkill
11. A little sexual frustration/Combined with lack of motivation
Prozzak, Strange Disease
12. You know I used to be a bad girl/I got busy in the bathroom at my high-school prom
Everclear, Volvo-driving soccer mom
13. (First 'sung' lyrics): Me and Fast got the gats/We're out to rob a bank/We got Steve outside carrying a full pack.
Fun-loving criminals, Scooby Snacks
14. (First sung lyrics): Try to OD on the Cold-Eeze/One girl's got me sweating to the oldies
Bloodhound Gang, Mope
15. I wish you could meet my girlfriend/My girlfriend who lives in Canada
Avenue Q soundtrack, My girlfriend (Who lives in Canada)
16. When your baby/Leaves you all alone/And nobody/Calls you on the phone
Solomon Burke, Cry to me
17. (First sung lyrics): That ain't five-oh/That's the funk-yo
Black Eyed Peas, The Boogie hat Be
18. Getadelt wird wer Schmerzen kennt (major points for this one)
Rammstein, Feuer Frei
19. Yeah! Inter-national, underground/Thunder pounds when I stomp the ground
Outkast, Bombs over Baghdad
20. When you were here before/Couldn't look you in the eyes
Radiohead, Creep
21. Swollen Members gunna make us stop/Take a minute and remember who takes the top
Swollen Members, Fuel injected
22. (First sung lyrics): Well woman the way the time cold I wanna be keepin' you warm
Sean Paul, Temperature
23. Here me now/Oh thou bleak and unbearable world/Thou art based and debauched as can be
Man of La Mancha soundtrack, I, Don Quixote
24. I'm not feeling alright today/I'm not feeling that great/I'm not catching on fire today
Cake, Sheep go to Heaven
25. So if you're lonely/You know I'm here waiting for you
Franz Ferdinand, Take me out
26. Although my lover lives/In a place that I can't live/I kind of find/I like a life this lonely
Franz Ferdinand, Come on home
27. (First sung lyrics): There she goes shaking that ass on the floor/Bumpin' and grindin' that pole
Eminem, Shake That
28. Nobody rocks 'em up like Dujour/Dujour/Ride on your motorbike with Dujour
Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack, Dujour
29. His bed is on fire with passionate love/The neighbours complain about the noises above
Matt Nathanson (one of many covers), Laid
30. You don't have a clue/What it is like to be next to you/I'm here to tell you/That it is good
Eels, Fresh Feeling
And a bonus...
31. (It came up twice, it can't be denied): The sun'll come up tomorrow/bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun
Annie Soundtrack, Tomorrow

1. I'm not dead yet.
2. I would have sworn yesterday was Friday; it's been that long of a week already.
3. I made it to the gym and worked out on my own on Monday, *and* did a (not challenging) pilates class.
4. I'm very tired.
5. As a result, I have underlying cranky issues. But I'm keeping them to myself.
6. Would it be wrong of me to sign my name in bold in emails to emphasize to people that I use Jen and not Jennifer? Urgh.
7. See above re: cranky.
8. Need time off. Argh.
9. Answers to songs pending.

What can I say? I'm bored:

Blame Shawnathan for this one.

Here is how it works:

I put my MP3 player of choice on random, and post the opening line(s) from the first thirty songs that pop up, out of my entire music library, no matter how embarrassing.

You guys get to guess the artist/song -- without cheating (using Google, for example). I'mma bold songs and write down who got what right as people go along.

Additional note: There's some random shit in here, 'cause I'm like that. I did remove one or two that were complete give-aways (i.e., the song title was the first sung part). It'll be interesting to see how much of this peoples actually get. :) Some food prize to whoever gets the most!

1. Restless tonight/'Cause I've wasted the light
2. She likes to read/I like tv
3. This is how we do it/When we do it/Like we just wanna tear the club up
4. I rode my bicycle past your window last night/I rollerskated to your door at daylight
5. Softly now/You owe it to the world/And everyone knows that you're my favourite girl
6. Hanging out behind the club on the weekend/Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends
7. Tear the roof off/We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
8. I'm a girl and by me that's only great/I am proud that my silhouette is curvy
9. Eyes boring away to me/Paralyse/Controlling completely
10. I can't get to sleep/I think about the implications
11. A little sexual frustration/Combined with lack of motivation
12. You know I used to be a bad girl/I got busy in the bathroom at my high-school prom
13. (First 'sung' lyrics): Me and Fast got the gats/We're out to rob a bank/We got Steve outside carrying a full pack.
14. (First sung lyrics): Try to OD on the Cold-Eeze/One girl's got me sweating to the oldies
15. I wish you could meet my girlfriend/My girlfriend who lives in Canada
16. When your baby/Leaves you all alone/And nobody/Calls you on the phone
17. (First sung lyrics): That ain't five-oh/That's the funk-yo
18. Getadelt wird wer Schmerzen kennt (major points for this one)
19. Yeah! Inter-national, underground/Thunder pounds when I stomp the ground
20. When you were here before/Couldn't look you in the eyes
21. Swollen Members gunna make us stop/Take a minute and remember who takes the top
22. (First sung lyrics): Well woman the way the time cold I wanna be keepin' you warm
23. Here me now/Oh thou bleak and unbearable world/Thou art based and debauched as can be
24. I'm not feeling alright today/I'm not feeling that great/I'm not catching on fire today
25. So if you're lonely/You know I'm here waiting for you
26. Although my lover lives/In a place that I can't live/I kind of find/I like a life this lonely
27. (First sung lyrics): There she goes shaking that ass on the floor/Bumpin' and grindin' that pole
28. Nobody rocks 'em up like Dujour/Dujour/Ride on your motorbike with Dujour
29. His bed is on fire with passionate love/The neighbours complain about the noises above
30. You don't have a clue/What it is like to be next to you/I'm here to tell you/That it is good

And a bonus...
31. (It came up twice, it can't be denied): The sun'll come up tomorrow/bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun

I want to write, but I lack in original ideas/storylines. Anyone have any suggestions?

Dear world,

Just because they're not obvious to you, it does not mean that I don't have feelings. I really, really do, I promise. Maybe I am, as you claim, hard to read; maybe you're just not very good at it. I don't know. But I assure you, I have feelings. In fact, sometimes it feels like I have too many feelings, and not enough space or rationality for them.

I'm just... I'm very tired of people assuming that I don't get hurt, or feel, or even notice their words. I do. Hell, I know some people who think I'm too sensitive -- so I guess I just can't win.

Yes, I'm independent. Yes, I believe that it's better and healthier to want someone around, but not to need them. I've had relationships and I've had failed relationships; I've been attached and I've been single. I've done great in both situations. I know I would continue to do great in either situation. I'm not afraid to be single, and I'm not afraid to be in a relationship.

What I'd like to know is how to know you're with the right person. How do you know what sacrifices you're willing to make, or what compromises you're willing to accept in order to create a future with someone. What parts of myself should I change in order to accomodate someone else? Or do I change nothing, and insist that someone take me as I am? What if I'm trying to change small details of them -- is it still fair of me to remain fundamentally as I am?

Well, I think the answer to that last part is yes. The fundamental parts of someone are, ultimately, unchangeable. But surface things... they aren't so awful to change. If one or more of my piercings bothered someone, I could conceivably remove them; they aren't a deep-down part of who I am. But if my lack of religious conviction, or my chosen hobbies, or semi-committment to my family or love of animals bothered someone, that's different.

I have no point.

What I'm trying to say, in my tired and possibly otherwise affected stupor, is that I am who I am. I have feelings, I cry (semi frequently), I hurt, I feel... and if you can't see that, then... I don't know whose fault that is, I really don't. It's not as though this is an uncommon accusation -- which makes me wonder just how on the line other people put themselves?

*sigh* Brain dumping is fun! :P

And on another, very vague note... how much credence do I put to my thoughts and musings? Are they valid? Or are they temporary? Will I even know what I'm talking about tomorrow?

Am I a bad girlfriend, as I sometimes suspect?

What the fuck do you want me to say?

That's a quote from before, but it seems apt.

When it comes to a vast difference in something major, who gets to 'win'?

Dear world,

Just because they're not obvious to you, it does not mean that I don't have feelings. I really, really do, I promise. Maybe I am, as you claim, hard to read; maybe you're just not very good at it. I don't know. But I assure you, I have feelings. In fact, sometimes it feels like I have too many feelings, and not enough space or rationality for them.

I'm just... I'm very tired of people assuming that I don't get hurt, or feel, or even notice their words. I do. Hell, I know some people who think I'm too sensitive -- so I guess I just can't win.

Yes, I'm independent. Yes, I believe that it's better and healthier to want someone around, but not to need them. I've had relationships and I've had failed relationships; I've been attached and I've been single. I've done great in both situations. I know I would continue to do great in either situation. I'm not afraid to be single, and I'm not afraid to be in a relationship.

What I'd like to know is how to know you're with the right person. How do you know what sacrifices you're willing to make, or what compromises you're willing to accept in order to create a future with someone. What parts of myself should I change in order to accomodate someone else? Or do I change nothing, and insist that someone take me as I am? What if I'm trying to change small details of them -- is it still fair of me to remain fundamentally as I am?

Well, I think the answer to that last part is yes. The fundamental parts of someone are, ultimately, unchangeable. But surface things... they aren't so awful to change. If one or more of my piercings bothered someone, I could conceivably remove them; they aren't a deep-down part of who I am. But if my lack of religious conviction, or my chosen hobbies, or semi-committment to my family or love of animals bothered someone, that's different.

I have no point.

What I'm trying to say, in my tired and possibly otherwise affected stupor, is that I am who I am. I have feelings, I cry (semi frequently), I hurt, I feel... and if you can't see that, then... I don't know whose fault that is, I really don't. It's not as though this is an uncommon accusation -- which makes me wonder just how on the line other people put themselves?

*sigh* Brain dumping is fun! :P

And on another, very vague note... how much credence do I put to my thoughts and musings? Are they valid? Or are they temporary? Will I even know what I'm talking about tomorrow?

Am I a bad girlfriend, as I sometimes suspect?

What the fuck do you want me to say?

That's a quote from before, but it seems apt.

When it comes to a vast difference in something major, who gets to 'win'?

I woke up this morning, as I have the past few mornings, to a herd of elephants masquerading as an unknown number of small children stampeding back and forth across my ceiling. I was also snuggled by two cats, so the morning wasn't a total loss.

I let Thena out on her harness and leash, as she regularly insists I do, and settled on the couch to get in some serious cross-stitching time, something I haven't had the time to do much this weekend.

All was going well, I'd opened the window for Venus to look out of, it's a beautiful day out, Venus came over a few times to cuddle on my lap (and interrupt my cross stitching time), and then the calm was broken by someone outside screaming epithets.

Believe it or not, this isn't the first time this has happened, so I didn't pay *too* much attention to it.

Until the words sunk in: "You cocksucker! You just ran over a cat!"

Cue me, racing to the backdoor to check on Thena, slipping on the floor in bare feet (a feat, pardon the pun, that I hadn't achieved before).

Thena comes in, the guy is yelling how he's sorry and hadn't seen it (this probably happened before I opened the door; I don't operate well in panic mode), and a few other neighbours emerged to see what was going on. Maybe hoping for carnage, I don't know.

I did overhear someone making a phone call and talking about an emergency, but I don't know if they were calling the emergency vet clinic or what.

I threw on some clothes (bright pink pyjamas aren't the best for wandering my streets), and walked up a block to see if I could see anything, but didn't. Either the cat was taken by someone to a vet, or it didn't happen on my street (or the portion of it I saw), but I went back inside. And lectured the kitties on how this is why I get mad when they run out the door on their own (okay, just Thena does this; Venus is a chicken), hugged them, and started crying.

My adrenaline is back down again, and I can hear periodic yelling, but no words. For all I know, it's coming from upstairs, which again, isn't surprising.

And yes, Thena was fine.

Dear crazy people,

Oh how I appreciate that you spend so much of your time and energy devoted to entertaining me. Really, it's a sacrifice for you, I know, but I really do thank you for it. You make my mornings just a little bit better through your efforts.

To whit:

The paper: The Record (Kitchener, Cambridge and Waterloo)
The date: 2006.04.12
The reason: Opinion

The headline: Pornography is pollution

The letter:

I was compelled to write when I read Mirko Petricevic's article on April 3 on Internet pornography, You Can Lose Your Life.

I agree wholeheartedly that pornography isolates men from their wives or girlfriends and family.

One other important source was not addressed in this article which I think should be addressed. It is commonly known as "soft porn," and it is found everywhere in the form of adult movies and magazines.

These soft porn pictures also take a man's focus off his wife or girlfriend and direct his attention on a fantasy and comparison. Pornography teaches men to dehumanize women by viewing them as sexual objects.

It sends a message to the wife or girlfriend that she is not worthy. It is like a bomb exploding in her heart and in her despair she leaves to escape the pain.

I think it has become an epidemic and should be exposed for what it is -- polluting the mind and soul.

The crazy lady author: Maria Weber, Waterloo

Once again... thank you.

For those who have been wondering (and I appreciate your emails and text messages asking what’s been going on lately), here is the longish explanation:

I am taking my masters degree in communications, part-time. There are four classes that have to be taken before you can start your thesis; being a part-timer means that you only take one class per semester. I started my degree in September of last year, so I have taken two classes so far. 4-2=2. Right? Right.

At my university, each course that you take counts as 3 credits. I don’t know why, it just is. If you take a course that runs for a full year, then it’s 6 credits. Now, following that math, 2 courses * 3 credits = 6 credits for a year’s worth of courses.

The deadlines that we were given to follow stated that if you were going to have completed 9 credits of work by a given date, you had to have your thesis proposal turned in by such-and-such a date. If it was by this date (which would have applied for me), then you had to have it turned in in December, 2006.

Of course, if I had the emails in front of me, this would be easier. :P

Anyhow, along comes February, and on the 22nd, the administrative assistant for the graduate students sends out an email stating that suddenly full-timers had to have their proposal in by the 3rd of April (later revised to the 7th), and that part-timers had to have their supervisor and thesis subject registered by April 3rd (later revised to the 7th). Now, because the administrative assistant was in the habit of sending the same email multiple times, or just sometimes changing dates in the email that was otherwise a cut-and-paste job, with no “Hey, things have changed, here it is” warning, I, admittedly, wasn’t completely up on my reading of the emails. I asked her after the first one, “Does this apply to part-timers as well?” had it explained, and Bob was my uncle.

Bob came along and beat me up.

I found out in the beginning of March, from a classmate in the same boat, about what was going on. Now, as some of you may recall, March sucked a lot for me. I had crazy amounts of things going on and no time in which to get them all done. Some of them never did get done, ‘cause I just happen to suck that way.

So, I started making the rounds of desperate phone calls to various professors who might in any small way be related to my chosen subject matter. In my department, there are five such professors; four of them are francophones, and one of them is a professor I’ve had four times in my undergrad and grad combined, and I was hoping not to work with him.

Of the four francophones, I called three and was able to meet with two. All accounts said that the last guy was one step away from completely incomprehensible in English, and oh joy – he’s teaching one of the courses in the fall.

The first professor is the head of the graduate faculty, and seemed like he was interested and in the end, told me where he’d be able to be of use to me. He told me to keep interviewing folks, send me some of my writing – preferably something in the realm of media-related work – and then we’d talk.

The second professor was a bit dotty, but pretty much agreed to supervise me by the end of our discussion. The Anglophone professor told me I wouldn’t want to work with her, but I figured beggars can’t be choosers (or at least, those who have few options probably shouldn’t complain about the ones they have… I guess that was pretty redundant). She asked me to write up a little one-page explanation of what I wanted to do and send that to her on the weekend. I did – on Sunday. So I’m liberal about my application of ‘weekend.’ Whatever.

I hadn’t heard from her by Wednesday, so I called her from work before I left for class. She called while I was in a meeting and left a message on my cell, but I figured I’d check it later. I’m very glad I did.

I went to class that night, and my group did our presentation and watched and questioned all the others, and I felt pretty decent by the end of the night. The wine the last group had served might’ve helped that; I know I was definitely tired, which can be blamed on the wine and on my crappy sleeping schedule of the last few weeks (no one’s fault but my own, and sometimes perhaps the Smooshy).

I got home from class and listened to my voice mail, and it was then I learned that the dotty prof felt that I wasn’t developed enough in my ideas – no shit, I didn’t have to have them ready for another six-plus months – and she asked me to maybe come back to her again in the fall. Well, if I were to do the directed studies course over the summer as I planned, then I have to have my thesis proposal in before the fall… and regardless, I have to have a supervisor registered now, you bint, not four or five months from now.

So, needless to say, my mood plummeted significantly, and I found myself both very upset and depressed. And more than a little stressed, ‘cause that goes along well with the rest of it.

Instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour, as I had previously hoped/planned, I spent the next half hour or so composing desperate emails to the two other professors with whom I had spoken. I had warned the first francophone professor that when my computer had exploded, I had lost many of my previous papers, so what I ended up sending him were two papers from my second year and the research paper I had composed for my first masters course. If nothing else, it showed a literature review and a few other things that would be applicable to my proposal and thesis.

The Smooshy monitored my home account for me on Thursday, and forwarded me emails of relevance. The Anglophone professor wasn’t able to/was unwilling to sign off on my paperwork as he had originally offered (he said he would register as my prof and I could then find someone else at my leisure), but I called the department and got myself an extension as a precautionary measure.

In the end, on Thursday, there was an email waiting for me from the first professor, agreeing to supervise me. Major relief. Granted, I had to wait awhile to get the email, since the power was out in my neighbourhood from 3 p.m. until about 10:30, then a few times more during the night, but I got it, and I was pleased.

Also, I made sure my computer was unplugged during the night and the next day, since they had cautioned about rolling blackouts on the news. I wasn’t taking any more chances, especially not with my sexy new computer.

I was, however, able to use the blackout as a bit of an excuse for ‘sleeping in’ on Friday, and I ran first thing to the department to drop off my paperwork for my supervisor’s signature. It was also my last real day with my former manager as manager, so it was a very positive day in many ways, despite the poo weather.

Friday evening I was supposed to have dinner with Moose, but it fell through (for the second time, I might add). The evening was spent fairly quietly, with both the Smooshy and I in a bit of a funk.

Wednesday morning I’d had a meeting downtown, and I spent some time at the mall shopping for a belated shower/on-time bachelorette party gift for N. I managed to find a few things that were very appropriate for her fiancé (and my friend), so I picked up season 5 of Buffy on DVD for her, and the He-Man/She-Ra Christmas special on DVD for him. As her bridal shower had the theme ‘lucky’ and her bachelorette party had an 80s theme, I was trying to get something that might fit one or the other, but didn’t quite manage… though I claimed that season 5 was somewhat lucky because you got to see Spike with his shirt off. I did, however, succeed in some semi-fluorescent green wrapping paper, as well as some bright-pink… and I got some blank cards that are fluorescent green and have velvet paw prints marching over them. So I managed to continue my semi-regular cat theme for cards, which was a success in my books.

The bachelorette party was fun. I made a pasta salad that got compliments, and a chocolate-caramel cheesecake that I found a bit disappointing. The highlight of the evening for me was the horrible luck I was having bowling (I was granny-style bowling the ball too hard, so it kept spinning off just before it got to the pins) – and I’d like to point out that it was only my second or third time doing 10-pin bowling – and doing various dances with N in the bowling lane in our shoes and her bright white lacy dress. We were under blacklights, so she really glowed. Props to Mad for another successful (on-going) turn as a matron of honour. :)

Sunday was a very quiet day, and I got to spend many hours cross-stitching. I also took the bike out for a trip, and it was a fairly successful run, though a bit chilly… and then there was when the guy tried to pull out of a gas station in front of me, but we didn’t collide. I just felt somewhat unsettled in my stomach for a few more minutes after that. I think the guy in front of me who had his left turn signal on for three blocks before he actually turned help me get over that a bit faster, since I had an annoyance to concentrate on.

Aside from bobbling the bike in the driveway (which slopes downwards fairly stiffly) and the herd of elephants my idiot upstairs neighbours invited over for what seemed like wrestling and throwing bowling balls and furniture around in addition to the barbecue they were having, the evening was pretty decent. Is it wrong of me to be rooting for my neighbours to kill or maim one another, so we can just be finished with it?

Also, they did an episode of Mythbusters on flatulence and the Ben Franklin electricity/kite myth. At one point, they tried to fart Buster to death, as I so not-crudely put it. I love that show.

Finally, this article today amused me for the first part, then the last part was somewhat sad. But I wish there were more judges like her:

The Winnipeg Sun, 2006.04.08

NO FREE RIDE FOR PHONEY DRUNK

ROSS MCLENNAN

Three years have passed since Winnipeg Transit officially declared its Open Door policy .. er ... open ... in April 2006.

Predictions that some people would try to take unfair advantage of the new policy came true yesterday when a man became the first person to be found guilty of pretending to be drunk in order to obtain a free ride on a bus.

Judge Wanda Gavell sentenced Carver Flamboyne-Sussex, 48, to seven days in jail, with no chance of parole.

She also fined Flamboyne-Sussex $250 and ordered him to pay the dry-cleaning bill of each passenger he urinated on during his phoney drunken state.

Paying passengers testified that a seemingly intoxicated and belligerent Flamboyne-Sussex staggered on to the bus, told the driver he was "pissed" and had no money and then asked him what the %#@*% he was going to do about it.

The driver, in accordance with the Open Door policy, quietly wiped the spittle from his face and politely told Flamboyne-Sussex to take a seat.

"Considering Flamboyne-Sussex burped in his face more loudly than Barney does on The Simpsons, I thought the driver was being far more courteous than necessary when he added, 'Have a nice day,' " one of the passengers said.

Bus operator Zack Change was later asked if the reason why he was so polite to Flamboyne-Sussex was because he does, indeed, support the humanitarian impulse that sparked Transit's Open Door policy.

"Sure," Change said, adding, "Of course, if I'd just learned I'd won the lottery, I'd have kicked him right in the crystals."

Although Crown attorney Phil Buttress and defence lawyer Greta Meinhair agreed Flamboyne-Sussex should be given a conditional sentence, Judge Mavis Gavell decided a jail sentence would be more appropriate.

"I might have considered a conditional sentence," Gavell said, "if it hadn't been for the fact Flamboyne-Sussex also deliberately consumed 10 cups of coffee all the better to urinate on fellow passengers in order to make his intoxicated condition appear more genuine."

The judge dismissed defence-lawyer Meinhair's argument that Flamboyne-Sussex consumed all that coffee because he's been addicted to caffeine ever since a childhood spent with poverty-stricken parents who were similarly afflicted.

"Mr. and Mrs. Flamboyne-Sussex spent every penny they had as they drifted hour after hour from one Starbucks outlet to another," said Meinhair. "They took little Carver with them, and soon he was able to match them grande by grande throughout the day and into the night."

That was when Gavell asked the court reporter to stop recording the proceedings, turned to Meinhair and told her she was "nuts."

When the trial resumed, the judge said that Flamboyne-Sussex's failure to keep his pants zipped wasn't the only reason she decided to send him to jail.

She explained that Garwood Hemphill, one of the 13 bus riders upon whom Flamboyne-Sussex urinated, was a genuinely drunk man who was even less able to protect himself from Flamboyne-Sussex than the sober, fare-paying passengers.

"It's a sad day, indeed, when a truly intoxicated person is unable to take advantage of the bus company's Open Door policy without being subjected to this kind of behaviour," Gavell said. "It's cruelly ironic that the very kind of person this policy is intended to help became, instead, its victim.

"We can only be thankful that Flamboyne-Sussex didn't vomit all over Mr. Hemphill as well."

Hemphill later expressed surprise at the sympathy extended to him by Judge Gavell.

"To tell you the truth," he said, "I'm not sure which of the urine stains on my pants were Flamboyne-Sussex's or my own," he said. "And I don't think it would have much much difference if Flamboyne-Sussex had vomited all over me since I'd already thrown up all over myself before he got on the bus."

Although Hemphill said he remembered nothing about the incident, Gavell said Winnipeg Transit should recompense him for "having endured a humiliation he will never forget."

Following the trial, bus-driver Change was asked if he would continue to abide by the Open Door policy, despite his experience with Flamboyne-Sussex.

"Sure," he said, "as long as I don't end up like Garwood Hemphill."

Hemphill, Change explained, was a former bus driver who couldn't cope with the Open Door policy and was driven to drink.

"He lost his job and his home, and his wife and kids left him, and now all he does is stay hammered and ride the buses hour after hour," said Change.

"Thank God for the Open Door policy, or he'd never survive."

1. Part of me would really like to get drunk tonight.
2. I have to work tomorrow.
3. Part of me would really like to mope around my apartment.
4. I need sleep.
5. I'm not especially flush with cash.
6. I'd like to ride the bike today or tomorrow, weather depending.
7. Because I'm somewhat responsible, I likely won't be doing any drinking.

Shake That
(feat. Nate Dogg)

[Intro - Eminem ]

Shady, Aftermath
There she goes shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin and grindin that pole
The way she's grindin that pole
I think I'm losing control

[Verse 1 - Eminem]

Get buzzed, get drunk, get crunked, get fucked up
Hit the strip club don't forget ones get your dick rubbed
Get fucked, get sucked, get wasted, shit faceted
Pasted, blasted, puke drink up, get a new drink
Hit the bathroom sink, throw up
Wipe your shoe clean, got a routine
Knowin still got a few chunks on your shoestring
Showin I was dehydrated till the beat vibrated
I was revibed as soon as this Bitch gyrated
And hips and licked them lips and that was it
I had to get Nate Dogg here to sing some shit

[Verse 2 - Nate Dogg]

Two to the one from the one to the three
I like good pussy and I like good trees
Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe
And I get more ass than a toilet seat
Three to the one from the one to the three
I met a bad bitch last night in the D
Let me tell you how I made her leave with me
Conversation and Hennessey
I've been to the muthafuckin mountain top
Heard muthafuckers talk, seen 'em drop
If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock
And when I bust yo ass I'm gonna continue to rock
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet
It's real easy just follow the beat
Don't let that fine girl pass you by
Look real close cause strobe lights lie

[Verse 3 - Nate Dogg]

We bout to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (Go head shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin it up

[Chorus - Nate Dogg]

Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me

[Verse 4 - Eminem]

I'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygienist
Open your mouth for about four or five minutes
Take a little bit of this fluoride rinse
Swish but don't spit it, swallow and I'll finish
Yeah me and Nate d-o double g
Looking for a couple bitches with some double d's
Pop a little champagne and a couple E's
Slip it in her bubbuly, we finna finna have a party

[Verse 5 - Nate Dogg]

Have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (Go head shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl I can fuck in my hummer truck
Apple Bottom jeans and a big Ol' slut
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I want a bitch that sit at the crib with no panties on
Knows that she can but she won't say no
Now look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be
Tonight I want a slut, will you be mine?
I heard you was freaky from a friend of mine

[Bridge - Eminem]

Now I hope you don't get mad at me
But I told Nate you was a freak
He said he wants a slut, hope you don't mind
I told him how you like it from behind

[Chorus - Nate Dogg]

Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Cmon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Cmon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
We bout' to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (go ahead shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin it up

[Outro - Eminem]

There she goes, shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin and grindin that pole
The way she's grindin that pole
I think I'm losing control

God, come one

[Eminem makes noises]

I ain't leavin' without you bitch

Come here home with me

And my boy, and his boy, and his boy, and his gurl

haha, Nate Dogg

[deep breathing]

Um, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

And, oh yeah -- fuck.

No, I'm not single, this is just a fun song -- and good advice to live by.

From "Thoroughly Modern Millie," the song "Forget about the boy":

MILLIE:
No canary in a tree for me
This canary's ready to fly free

Cut the cord
Is that a man I once adored?
He's nothing but an albatross
No great loss
Doublecrosser
Forget about the boy
Pull the plug
Ain't he the one who pulled the rug
He's lower than an alley cat
Dirty rat
And I flatter
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy

And in the moonlight
Don't you think about him
Sister, you're much better off without him
You can blow the blues a kiss goodbye
And put the sun back in the sky
For when he comes crawlin'
I'm not fallin'

Shout hooray and halleluh!
Now me and mister wrong are through
I'll find myself another beau
Who I know is no rover
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy
Forget about -

Jimmy, oh Jimmy, Jimmy

TYPIST #1:
Horace

TYPIST #2:
Danny

TYPIST #3:
Milton

TYPIST #4:
Percy

TYPIST #5:
Edgar

TYPIST #6:
Timothy

TYPIST #7:
Alfred

TYPIST #8:
Vito Carbone

TYPIST #9:
Benjamin Pratt, the third

TYPIST #10:
Teddy Morgan

MISS FLANNERY:
Barney Schreiber, C.P.A.

MILLIE:
Jimmy, oh Jimmy, silly boy
Gee, what a real swell guy

MISS FLANNERY and TYPISTS (at the same time):
Cut the cord, is that a man I once adored?
He's nothing but an albatross
No great loss, doublecrosser

ALL:
Forget about the boy

MILLIE:
Jimmy, oh Jimmy, what great joy
He makes my troubles fly

MISS FLANNERY and TYPISTS (at the same time):
Pull the plug, ain't he the one who pulled the rug?
He's lower than an alley cat, dirty rat
And I flatter

ALL: Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy!

(The typists break into defiant tap, topped by MISS FLANNERY in a tap solo.)

Shout hooray and halleluh!
Now that me and mister wrong are through
I'll find myself another beau
Who I know is no rover
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy

And in the moonlight don't you think about him
Sister you're much better off without him
You can blow the blues a kiss goodbye
And put the sun back in the sky

MISS FLANNERY and TYPISTS:
For when he comes crawlin'

MILLIE:
I'm not fallin'

ALL:
Hallelujah!
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy!