I woke up this morning from a relatively long dream involving my First True Love. I ran into him in my old neighbourhood, where both of our parents still live, and he was with his folks when I saw him. He had also done some kind of pseudo-mo/fauxhawk with his curly black hair and dyed it yellow blonde, which wasn't exactly the best look for him.

We ended up back at his place, in the basement, where much of our shenanigans used to take place, and while he was teasing me, before his mom came down to watch television and interrupt our mischief, he mentioned something about how I was the girl with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life.

Odd dream, especially since I haven't seen him since OFK and I went to Toronto, and I don't think I've even spoken to him since then, either.

The (ex-?)Smooshy has started up a blog, and he passed along the address to me a few days ago. I've added it to my daily rotation, and he seems to be one of the only ones in there that updates regularly -- again, not that I'm allowed to say anything. I was speaking with him briefly yesterday, 'cause he needed some files off my computer, and he mentioned being hungover from a party the night before. His blog also mentions the party, and mentions meeting a girl at said party -- which doesn't surprise me much.

I know that I ended things, and I have a whole bunch of good reasons as to why, but that doesn't mean that I'm at the point of being totally fine with the idea of him with others. I think he might've been trying to get back in the habit of talking to girls before we broke up; I don't think he cheated on me, but I think maybe he was getting some comfort from chatting with girls that he used to flirt with, or something similar. A pre-ego sop, if you will.

I know he put it up there, knowing I'd read it, just as I write this, knowing he'll read it at some point or another. As I've vented about many times in the past, I really need to stop giving this URL out to people that I get involved with; it means that I have to keep censoring myself, both during and after the relationship. :)

Is it possible for someone to be the love of your life if there are others in your past you'd get back with in a heartbeat? Or does that second identifier only matter in that you'd only get back with the others if things with the current aren't ongoing? Never mind, short of explaining it all out, it isn't going to make sense.

Past time to get ready for work... and figure out how I'm going to fit in the schoolwork that I didn't do all weekend. But at least I got some cleaning done.

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