Dear Internets,

This is pretty awkward -- it's been so long, I don't really know what to say. I've wanted to write, many times, but I just kept getting tongue-tied, or distracted, and then the moment was lost.

I've missed you, I really have. You were always there for me, through so much, and I feel like such a jerk for abandoning you like I have. Please don't think you haven't been on my mind, because you have been.

It's just... it's just hard. See, I want to talk to you about work, but I've always made a policy about keeping you and work separate. It's not fair of me to only complain to you about my job, when I know that you aren't really full-time and so it would only seem like bragging or something.

Then, well, then I wanted to tell you about this guy I've been seeing, but again, I didn't want it to seem like bragging. I like him, internet, I really do, and as much as I'd like to write all kinds of details about him, I don't want to be all creepy about it. Suffice it to say, he's a good guy, he makes me laugh, and we're happy together. I'll share photos soon, I promise.

Finally, the cats. Oh, the cats and how they amuse me, as always. Recently, Venus was trying to knead her paws on me (otherwise known as giving me a belly massage, or a butt massage, depending on where she's pressing) during a fairly private moment. She then settled down, half on me and half on the bed, quite content with her lot in life. I think she was a bit upset when I dislodged her, but really, what should I have done?

The girls made me laugh another day, but of course I can't remember the reason at the moment. I do know that having a cat attack your head from your headboard right as you're winding down from a good orgasm is a tad distracting, but really, who hasn't been there?

I threatened to lock Venus in the spare bedroom last night if she didn't let me sleep, and I think the threat took -- she was quiet, and we slept the night away, undisturbed. It was quite lovely, really.

Otherwise, what to say? I accompanied the Dear Boyfriend to his brother's wedding in Toronto a few weeks ago. It was a bit of an all-over-the-place trip; I spent a few days with him and his parents in his hometown (I'd met them before, don't worry), then we spent a night with a cousin of his and the cousin's family, and then it was off to Toronto for the wedding and other associated festivities. Dear Boyfriend's family really knows how to party, and they're very warm and friendly people -- they quite liked me, or seemed to, even the ones who had never met me before. They'd apparently already figured out who I was though, and several took the time to tell me they already had my wedding scheduled. Dear Boyfriend said they were doing the same or similar to him even when he wasn't dating anyone, but I still chose to take it in a positive light. :)

Aside from Dear Boyfriend's massive alcohol intake and subsequent ensuing toilet-hugging, the week away was quite nice. We wrapped everything up with a trip to Wonderland on the Monday, organized by the bride and groom. In all of my previous visits to Wonderland (and there've been a fair number), I've always been hesitant to go on any of the big rides, because I really dislike the plummeting feeling I get in my stomach on anything with a big hill. This trip, I went on every major rollercoaster except the Bat (which none of us went on), and DropZone (which I vetoed completely, and Dear Boyfriend let me get away with that). Top Gun, the first coaster of the day, was the worst one, and DragonFyre was fun except for when it bashed my ears up at the end of the trip and made my still-healing piercing bleed.

Many of the new rides have cameras facing on each set of seats, and the video for us on Vortex shows Dear Boyfriend looking over at me, realizing I have my eyes closed, and laughing. He didn't seem to realize until that point -- in the afternoon, I might add -- I had been doing all of the rides with my eyes closed. I did open them for brief moments on a few, and I had them open for about half of DragonFyre. He was busy telling me each point we were going through, and when he mentioned we were on the first corkscrew, I decided to open my eyes -- to discover we were upside down. I yelled a bit about that, but wasn't actually upset, just was having fun. Being upside down doesn't bother me; it's the deep valleys that does. So, the next trip will involve coaxing me to ride with my eyes open, I believe he's decided.

There are a few more possible trips in our future; he has tickets to a football game in Buffalo in the fall, which would entail a trip to and stay in Niagara, and a friend of his is getting married in Vegas next summer... plus there's the trip to some tropical southern location in March with one of his cousins here in the city, and that's something else to eagerly anticipate. We're also figuring on a trip to Montreal at some point, but without a clear date in mind; I want to show him the Biosphere at the least. Yay, penguins!

I made friends with a butterfly at the science centre in his hometown; it flew on to my map, and I carried it around for a good five minutes or so before it decided it had had enough. I felt honoured. :)

I've also been watching a lot of wedding-themed shows lately; damn you, Slice network. Party Mamas just makes me homicidal at the sense of entitlement of the mothers and daughters on the show -- I want to smack the lot of them. There was one episode with a woman throwing a circus-themed bat mitzvah party for her daughter that just seemed to play into almost every Jewish stereotype I've heard about... made me want to pull my hair out.

Why do I watch shows that make me mental? Because I'm an idiot, and it gives me someplace to channel my frustration. Of course, I went to a yoga/pilates course last night to try to channel those frustrations and release them, so maybe watching those shows isn't the best of ideas for me.

I've gotten somewhat frustrated at some of the presumptions of people, and some of them may recognize themselves in this post and for that I apologize, but I need content, and I need to vent:

• Just because I have a motorcycle does not mean I'm going to let you ride bitch.


• Corollary: just because you have a motorcycle license and need to practice riding does not mean I'm going to let you ride my bike.


• Corollary the second: just because you have a motorcycle license does not mean I'm going to let you ride my bike.

There are so many reasons that the above frustrates me, but the major part that I have to question is simply why people would presume the above. Why would someone assume I'd let them learn how to ride on my bike? Why would someone assume I'd give them my keys to let them ride my bike? Why do people assume I'll let them ride bitch on the back of my bike? Seriously, why? Is it just me that would think to ask, 'hey, do you take passengers?' instead of 'when do I get to ride on your bike?' Maybe not, maybe I'm just making stuff up. But to the people who don't have experience, or don't have experience with larger bikes (not that mine's huge, but...), why would you think I'd be willing to just hand over my keys and wave you on your way? I've got a fairly serious amount of money invested in this bike, and not just the purchase price, but the insurance as well (which, over the three-year span I'll have paid it, will amount to the same as what I paid for my bike now), and this is the first motor vehicle I've owned... I'd never assume I could borrow someone else's bike, and I have experience! Argh.

Okay, rant over for now. Moving on.

And to wrap up, a reason why I'm fun to have at a party: because when someone points out that one of my nipples is hard and visible through my quite-thin t-shirt, rather than get upset about it or try to hide, I start pinching and pulling at the other one so as to have a matched set. The damn things get hard in a stiff breeze -- it's a hell of a lot easier to get both hard than convince one to soften.

Anyhow internet, I really should log off; I don't even know if you're going to read this far, but if you do, I guess you get the payoff of reading about my nipples. Yay you, huh? I just want to wrap up by reminding you that I do love you and miss you, and I promise to make more efforts to keep in touch more. Okay?

Take care,
jen x