Too tired to be nervous...

Well, in a few hours I should know if I stand a chance of making it on-air this time around or not. Gah. I know the odds are really really slim, but I kinda had to take the chance, considering this is kinda where I'm hoping to take my career.

It may be best for me to do the program at Loyalist -- they offer radio broadcasting as a condensed 7-week program if you have a university or college degree, and if I ever survive the next year and a half (including passing that damn theories class that I failed!), I should be able to get a degree. Not just any degree, but a degree in communications, in case anyone was uncertain. :)

I really have to stop staying up so late. I was up until 3 a.m. last night talking to the bigger 'love' interests in my life (for lack of a better word). I'm thinking that I'm starting to lean towards the coworker now, because I think things could be good between us, except for that damn sticky detail where he loves me and the best I can come up with is that I care for him and love him as a friend. I'm not currently in love with him, at least not that I'm aware of.

Then there's the ex-boyfriend, the one a friend of mine named the 'mad pash of my life,' which is about the long and the short of it. I want him, and I don't want him, and I definitely don't want anyone else to have him. Argh. So much there, but I can't go into it... I have to go shower and get ready for work. I've already kinda slept away my safety zone (the extra time I allow before I get up), and although I could still leave at 11, I'd rather leave at 10:30, just 'cause.

Ah well... I'll post later today when I talk to my boss and find out what my odds are. The only problem is that if that 3% chance is alive, I'd really rather have my coworker produce the demo tape for me, and he's in Calgary until Saturday. I don' t know if they'd wait until Monday to get it, although there's always the chance. Mind you, we'd probably have to voice it Monday night, and it probably wouldn't be ready until Tuesday or Wednesday, so there's an even longer delay on that. Argh! I'm driving myself crazy with the possibilities here... and I don't even know if there's s chance. Gotta stop it.