I'm having a (possibly) irrational moment of mad. I'm angry, I'm pissy, I'm grumpy, whatever you want to call it. But it's not like an obvious thing. It's beneath the surface. It's there, it's just not out and exposed.

Why am I angry? Well, the crap with the coworker isn't helping. He was chatting with me this morning on MSN, and then at work, when there's a conversation going on in the studio, if I try to participate in it, he doesn't even look at me, or answer my question. For example, today they were talking about Signs, the Mel Gibson movie. I saw it the other day with J, so I asked him something about it, in response to what he said. He kinda answers it, but doesn't bother looking at me or addressing his comments to me. So, fuck him.

C snapped at me a bit today. I'm going to put it down to stress and such on her part, since she's doing too much (which is how she likes it), but it still struck me as kinda unfair. Like, don't take your stress out on me, m'dear. You're my boss, it's not fair of you to dump it on me. So, fuck off.

The ex- was chatting with me on MSN. Once again, everything is about him and what's going on his life and all that other crap. Occasionally a question about me or my life comes my way. Sometimes, I deflect questions about me, 'cause sometimes there's really nothing going that I want to talk about (this is conversations with everyone, not just him). But once in awhile it would be nice if he asked me something like, "How are things going with you and J?" Instead, I get an hour's worth of him agonizing about whether or not he's interested in his friend's ex-, or if she's interested in him, and such. He thinks perhaps that she's trying to set him up with one of her friends, someone he's not interested in (for various reasons). I ask, then what does it matter if she's trying to set you up? He says it's ego. He needs the boost. *sigh* I think, and I mean this seriously, not in a mean-spirited way, that he needs professional help.

All of this has been contained and not dumped on anyone else. I'm being very nice. But part of me wants to just sit down and cry. Part of me would love to have C walk in when I'm doing so, so that I can finally bitch and moan about the coworker and give her my side of things. It's not fair for her to take all this crap out on me.

No comments: