There are certain commercials and advertisements I can understand. While I may not enjoy them, I can still accept them.

Case in point? Commercials for feminine hygiene products. These commercials don't bother me, although I'll never really understand the ubiquitous blue fluid; we find this in diaper commercials as well. Nonetheless, there are some companies -- Kotex, I believe, is one -- that are making their advertisements entertaining, and often eliminating the product entirely. This appears to be a growing trend in advertising. Talk about the product (sometimes), show people who are more than likely using the product (for example, women in tampon commercials), but don't show us the product itself or its use (okay, fine, a bit graphic for some of the products, I admit).

However, there is one particular product that is being advertising in an increasingly graphic manner that I absolutely do not understand and cannot stand.

It started with a play on the old joke, "Do bears crap in the woods?" Well, the ad showed us a bear doing, theoretically, just that. The product was promoted as leaving someone feeling "comfy clean" afterwards. Kinda gross, but not so bad. Although it did teach me that bears hum and read the paper while doing their business... and then afterwards, they flush the tree. I know of some people (who will remain nameless) that these bears could give lessons to. Although apparently bears don't feel the same need for privacy that people do, as these trees were out in the open and right next to one another; no shelter was provided. Regardless...

Now, it has progressed to a 30-second commercial filled with shots of people's asses, generally dressed in light-coloured clothing, performing various activities (including running hurdle courses), and the voiceover is discussing everything from cleanliness to the comfort of knowing you're clean to the ripples in the product that help you to feel clean afterwards.

Why not just spell it out? "Our product will remove all the disgusting from your body with one wipe! Never wipe twice again! We promise!"

Eesh. I could get grosser, but I don't want to. Frankly, I know what the hell toilet paper is, I know what it's for, and I don't need some disembodied voice on the television (or radio, I got to upload the radio versions of the bear spots) telling me that their product is remarkably soft and yet manages to get rid of everything and leave me feeling comfy clean afterwards. Yeesh. I'll buy the product and try it (only way to do so, really), and if I'm happy, then I'll buy it again. But showing me shots of people's asses in spandex running hurdles or skipping around in a vast open field does not entice me to buy freaking toilet paper.

Once again, I'm censoring myself for grossness, here.

Anyhow, just wanted to write that before I forgot. I'm off to bed, and since I've just showered, I'm feeling comfy clean. Without the help of any kind of rippled toilet paper.

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