UNIVERSITY TRUTHS:

1. Quarters are like gold.
2. Two meals a day is standard.
3. Road trip whenever possible.
4. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.
5. You will begin to nap again.
6. Your bookstore bill will almost equal tuition.
7. Squirt guns=stress relief.
8. Email becomes your second language.
9. College students throw paper airplanes too.
10. You never realized so many people were smarter than you.
11. Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite last week's episode of South Park verbatim.
12. You will never rent more movies in your life.
13. No one is too old for video games.
14. The health service nurses are there because they couldn't make it at a real hospital. Never, ever forget that.
15. Care packages are right up there with birthdays.
16. The campus is only clean on parents' weekend and freshman orientation.
17. It never stunk so much to get sick.
18. Nothing you want to register for will be open.
19. Beware of the freshman 15.
20. Be creative in the dining hall.
21. Classes: the later the better.
22. You are no longer thankful that the fire alarms are here to protect you.
23. Disney movies are more than just classics.
24. Asleep by 2:30 A.M. is an early night.
25. Cereal makes a meal any time of the day.
26. New additions to food groups: Jolt Cola, Ramen, and Pizza.
27. ATMs are the devil's advocate.
28. Duct tape heals all wounds.
29. Pro Wrestling is suddenly cool again.
30. Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them even more.
31. Showers become less important, sleep becomes more important.
32. You will eat anywhere that is a buffet.
33. You realize college is the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes.
34. Procrastination is an art form.
35. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires.
36. The only time to dress up is when all your jeans are dirty.
37. You'll eat anything if it's free.
38. College football is the coolest thing on the planet.
39. Cartoons are for all ages.
40. You are never alone.
41. You start counting in beer and not in money: i.e. that text book would have bought me 3 2-4s
42. You find yourself calling everyone you don't like Nazis, such as your profs, the cafeteria staff that don't smile ...
43. It is no longer your blood alcohol level it is your alcohol blood level.
44. Your furniture consists of empty 2-4s of beer and you wonder why your room smells.
45. You seem to find yourself saying ‘your fucking’ everything: 'Fucking profs', 'fucking school', 'fucking cafeteria food'...