Sometimes I imagine conversations with people; like, if I'm mad at someone, I imagine them confronting me and asking why I'm upset, and then I imagine all the things I'd say to explain it.

Then I get all het up and angry and upset and frustrated and full of rage and have to remind myself that this imagined conversation never actually took place.

Just picture me, a little tiny seething ball of rage -- like there's a cork somewhere that has to be released to get all of my anger and upset out and vented. I'm pathetic.

I'm also learning that I really don't get over people very easily, and that's also frustrating. Well, with some exceptions; getting over the coworker wasn't exactly a trial, lemme tell you that.

But this stuff with E has me all bothered, and it's partly because we haven't spoken since it happened. All together now: "Just talk to him!" Now, yeah. I don't know, I feel like it's his place to talk to me.

I was talking to one of my coworkers today, who's gotten some of the details on it from both of us, and from what she's said, he (E) has some of it wrong, but that's to be expected -- it's stuff he got wrong then, too. The other reason I don't want to approach him is 'cause after he broke up with the last girl he was seeing, he kept going on and on about her sending him 8-page emails about her feelings, and how he didn't want feelings (his chorus throughout much of this), and he even said that he broke up with me because he didn't feel jealous and thought he should, so why should I dump feelings on him?

Argh. I know D's thrilled with reading all of this, but ... welcome to my journal and my brain. Gotta get it out somewhere, right? Otherwise the me that is the seething ball of rage really will lose it and either break down and cry or just snap at someone who doesn't deserve it. Although that could be fun. :)

Today was busy for me at work, and I only had a 5-hour shift, so I only got a 15 minute break. That's annoying. Of course, the guy doing my cash out was kinda annoyed because he once again had three of us scheduled to end at 4, so he had to race around to get us all out on time (which doesn't happen, anyhow). It amused me. :)

Got another interview with a placement firm on Friday, and I have the first of my three gym appointments with my trainer tomorrow afternoon. The next few weeks are going to be crazy hectic, I just hope I have time to get everything done.

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