I feel as if I want to hate you.

I want to hate that you judge me, without knowing the reasons behind my actions.

I want to hate that, were I the secure person that everyone seems to think I am, I wouldn't have done what I did when I did it.

I want to hate that I feel things for you.

I want to hate that I feel left behind, while you move on.

I want to blame you for keeping me here.

I want to blame you for what I feel.

I want to blame you for leading me on.

I want to stop feeling.

I want to stop thinking.

I want to stop being back in this place.

I want to be with you, but I don't.

I want to be with him, but I don't.

I want to be with the other him, but I don't.

Everyone's moving on, but I'm not.

The more I work, the worse it gets. The more good I think I'm doing, the less improving there seems to be.

I don't want to be this size anymore. I want to see changes. I want you to stop mocking me and try supporting me. I want you to encourage me, not tell me that you can tell that I've gained weight since I moved out.

I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see, not stare at all the problems.

I want you to say, "it's nice to see you" or "I like your hair that length," not, "what's going on with your face?"

I want you to suggest healthy foods for me to eat, not just telling me everything is fattening or bad.

I want to be held and made to feel beautiful. I want to have someone for just me, and sometimes I think it's you, and sometimes I think it's him, and sometimes I think it's him.

Basically, I think I'm just feeling lonely and unattractive.

Basically, I think I don't know what I'm doing.

Basically... I just don't know.

Should I stay -- or should I go?