Of course, sometimes I just torment people:

Me: So? Got my flash ready? :)
Jay: Not yet! :) I'll have to work on it tonight!
Me: Bah! you can't make my deadlines and include my lava fish? You're fired!
Jay: :) Lava fish?
Jay: You're trying to kill me. :)
Me: *grin* And they must be iridescent green with blinking purple dots! But blend into the lava background so that they can jump out and scare the audience and the heroes. And the lava is going to be an eggshell-cream-ochre white colour.
Jay: *nervous breakdown*
Me: Oh yeah, and since all of our actors for this scene are going to be on-set on Friday, we need this by first thing Thursday morning.
Jay: And Thursday is way too late to stress me out. :) You need it by today at 5.
Me: Damn, you're right. We're filming tomorrow morning. That's it, my assistant is fired.
Jay: :)
Me: And I know a bit about programming and digital editing, and I think that COBOL should be used to code it.
Jay: Thank goodness for you! I would have spent so much time floundering around in a language invented post-1950. :)
Me: It's a good thing I'm here.