Note to self: never send Jay quotes from bash.org when they deal with haikus.

Jay's first haiku? Sent at 15:28:23. My last one? 16:52:22. Gah.

Jen: 3y3 4m l33t h4x0r
j0! 3y3 4m t4lking to j00!
fux0red 5cr1pt k1dd13.
-"l33t h41ku"

Jay: Very nice. :)
Jay: Haiku-off!

Jen: I thought you'd enjoy it.

I didn't write it!

Jay: It is so cold here
That my nipples have frozen
to my undershirt...

Jen: I didn't want to
know about your nipple-shirt
Thanks for sharing, Jay.

Jay: I thought my nipples,
through their immaculate form,
enthralled your sharp mind.

Jay: Perhaps you would spit,
on the mona lisa or
burn the Voice of Fire.

Jen: Your nipples frighten
Small children, animals, and
me alike. Sorry.

Jay: Like so much great art,
they're unappreciated
by those with no taste.

Jen: I'm not sure that your
girlfriend Natasha would want
many tasting them

Jay: Before I hang them
in an art gallery, I
should wax my teet hairs.

Jen: I am broken now
That image is burned into
my brain. I go hurl.

Jay: I'll end your pain now,
before this poem devolves
to shaving my bum.

Jen: If you go to shave
Your hind end, don't forget to
include your back, too.

Jay: I'll order up two,
When they're done with my rear end,
They'll shave your top lip. ;)

Jen: But the boys I date
Like the hair on my top lip --
Tickles when I fellate.

Jay: That's quite disturbing.
Do they also beg you to
dress up like Hitler?

Jen: No, that is only
Your fantasy. Most guys like
Me just fine as is.

Jay: Those close-minded guys,
are probably boring shags,
Nazi sex is hot!

Jen: This exchange is going
to be excellent fodder
for my site you know.

Jay: I'm not that worried,
After all, Jen, it's not like
anyone reads it.

Jen: You is a bitch and
you're just jealous because my
site owns yours. Hardcore.

Jay: Oooh, Diss! Feel that burn!
Tonight you'll cry to your mum,
While I wax my breasts.

Jen: Whatever floats your
boat, my strange, weird, Jay-friend.
Go love your chest hair.

Jay: I thought I told you...
Never call me that again!
I go by "Phreeeeeoooouuummm" now!

Jen: You claim to be that,
But we all know otherwise.
One of us needs sleep.

Jay: Phreeeeeoooouuummm sounds like race cars,
so that should be my new name,
because I drink gas. :)

Jen: That explains much of
you and your oddities. Not
that you are explained.

Jay: I find it so hard,
to accept criticism,
from a girl who sucks.

Jen: I have always had
compliments on my sucking
abilities. Hah.

Jay: That doesn't mean much,
He'll say anything when you
have him by the balls.

Jen: That may be true, but
I know I am good, and that's
all that matters. Shoo.

Jay: I won't tease, you're a
rare and great thing, a girl who
loves to give head... wow!

Jay: Haikus becoming,
broken and non-syllabic,
not thinking with brain...

Jay: Why do I feel bad?
it's not rocket science that
my cock writes bad prose.

Jen: That's because they are
venturing into the realm
of head. Distracted.

Jen: This has continued
For over an hour. I am
ready to leave now.

Jen: However, first I
must be declared the winner.
Did I defeat you?

Jay: Your crazy sex talk
has got me all muddled up,
I declare you: Champ.

Jen: I must remind you,
You introduced sex into
the haiku process.

Jay: Leave my tender nips
out of your condemnations,
nothing is as pure.

Jen: Must every haiku
battle center around your
nipples? Move on, Jay!

Jay: Few topics engage,
like my love of my nips, except...
maybe your peircings. ;)

Jen: And so it rages
on. I am going home, taking
my piercings with me.

Jay: The only rage here,
is the surging of my blood,
and my huge hormones. :)

Jen: Nothing on you is huge;
I have heard from Natasha.
Stop your filthy lies!

Jay: Could it really be?
Could her mass astonishment
all have been a ruse?

Jen: Women must cater
to every man's ego. You're
the biggest I've seen, wow!

Jay: Her moans of passion
betray your attempts to jibe,
I am freaking huge!

Jay: No unit of size
is adequate to measure...
my wooly mammoth.

Jen: Oh God, any re-
maining innocence I had
is now gone. You're sad.

Jen: Moans of passion can
be faked, I will remind you.
Harry met Sally?

Jay: Enjoy your walk home,
While facing the wind, just think:
Jay is freezing cold.

Jen: I will laugh at your
Cold Winterpeg home. You chose
to move there, doofus.

Jen: I leave now, crowned Champ.
Suffer the agony of
defeat! Talk later.

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