Well, I did send an update by email yesterday, but of course, it has yet to arrive. Stupid post-by-email system.

Let's see, what's been going on? Nothing stands out as especially exciting, although I know I was thinking of things yesterday. Damn my faulty memory. :P

I've been doing a bit of writing off-line, and I'm hoping to actually put it up on a website somewhere, sometime.

I've also decided that I'm fat and I'm tired of it. I feel as though I'm in decent shape, though I've been slacking with the gymtime lately (my trainer and I are both taking turns cancelling on each other for various reasons), but overall, I just feel huge and fat and sloppy. I don't like this feeling, so I'm making efforts to eat responsibly, which may mean picking my coworker's brain on the Weight Watcher's thing she's doing - especially as she'd lost some 10 lbs or so already.

Before you all start freaking out and rolling your eyes (I'm thinking of you, Jay), and so on, let me clarify - I don't want to lose a ton of weight. I firmly believe that the BMI dohickey is complete bunk for most people, and since I fully intend to continue working out, my BMI will always be wonky. Muscle weighs more than fat, etc. I'm comfortable being a short, stocky person if it's one that's muscly - what I'm not comfortable with is my current pot belly, extra-padded hips, and padded thighs. I don't like 'em.

And since the weather is picking up, I should have more opportunities to be out and active. Running is nice, biking will be good (if I ever get around to getting my bike), maybe even rollerskating, if I can get my balance on them, boxing once again... plus weight-lifting, as always. It shouldn't be hard to lose weight. I just need to change my diet - which is my constant refrain. :P

This time, I want it to be real.

This is the time for change. I'm almost 25, and sometimes things just don't change unless you make it happen - I've realized this for some time now, and I'm working on it. I'm working on the new job situation, I'm working on the diet/exercise thing, and I've been trying new experiences when I can. There's going to be one coming up later in the spring/summer, but I don't want to talk about it until after it happens - for one, it's hard to believe yet that it'll actually happen, and for two, I don't want anyone talking me out of it... or talking to my folks, who would murder me. :)

I would like it to work out and be good.

No, it's nothing to do with eloping, having a baby, or running away to join a cult.

And, I just remembered some of the other stuff I was thinking last night (I often have good writing thoughts before bed, and then I don't write them down, and I either can't remember them later or they never sound as good as they did in my head).

Gah, just got totally spanked with a ridiculous deadline for something at work. The sad part? I was early for it. Argh. I hate my job.

Who wants to be my sugar daddy, so I can leave this job and go to school again? Please!? :(

It feels different than in the past. I want to be special, and not just one of many. I want to be important, and significant, and valued. I want to be invaluable and irreplaceable. Or, as the pizza guy used to say, I want to be a special little snowflake - or words to that effect.

Blah. Never mind me - I'm tired and so I'm rambling. But at least I didn't go to the meeting... heh.

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